47 Outta 50 Ain't So Bad!
47 Outta 50 Ain't So Bad!
I'm not kidding when I say Republican leadership is killing you.
I’ve been feeling good about life and the future lately, which is an odd change of pace for a guy whose primary income is writing a niche newsletter about the lizard coterie running the once-great state of Ohio into the ground.
It turns out you wake up feeling great and are more productive during the day if you don’t drink a fifth of Tito’s Handmade Vodka every night as crutch for surviving your waking Hell.
I’m not sure why scientists haven’t done research into this matter, but I expect if I keep this regimen through the New Year than I would be in the hunt for a Nobel Peace Prize; something I would have thought I would have won by now given my life of humanitarian work. Better to have my greatness recognized later than never, I suppose.
It turns out there might have been a reason why I spent the entirety of 2020 blind drunk and ready to fight God Himself. No, it has nothing to do with my own actions! I would never admit something like that even if it were.
It might, however, have something to do with my neighborhood, which has the shortest life expectancy in Ohio.
From Max Filby of dispatch.com:
Franklinton residents have a life expectancy of 60 years, according to the 2021 health value dashboard released today by the Columbus-based Health Policy Institute of Ohio (HPIO).
…
Around 17% of Franklin County residents are considered to be in poverty while 52% of Franklinton residents are living in poverty, the city's report shows.
Stow, Ohio, a city of 35,000 people in Summit County, has the highest life expectancy in the state at 89 years. Must be something in the water!
Mayor Suburbs, meanwhile, prepared a statement saying this disparity which occurs under a mile from City Hall is a reason that the Bottoms has been named “an opportunity zone” as part of his “equity plan.”
He might have well took to the podium in a clown suit and honked his red nose a bunch of times, because clown noises are all I hear coming from that man. And that might be an insult to clowns, considering they’re funny and bring enjoyment to other people.
As best as I can tell, his plan includes unleashing real estate ghouls to “develop” the area. That might work in the post-industrial East Franklinton, but I’ve yet to hear a plan on how the city plans to attack the poverty rate other than gentrifying the area and forcing the poors to move to the Hilltop.
But, in the mayor’s defense, a lot of the areas problems stem from Republican leadership that has strangled opportunity in this state for anybody that isn’t a business executive who jacks off to zero percent corporate tax rates.
From HPIO, here’s why Ohio ranks 47th(!) out of the 50 States and Washington D.C. in healthcare systems and public health:
Ohio is a lot like America when it comes to healthcare and public health: It’s a dandy place to live if you are rich. Not so much if you are poor.
Don’t hold your breath on the State Legislature doing anything about this problem either. Any of the recommendations made in the report might as well report to the nearest trashcan.
The Legislature’s current public health concerns are ending coronavirus restrictions, banning nonexistent “vaccine passports” and trying to grant immunity to anti-vaxxers who refuse to do the one thing required of everybody to end the pandemic.
But hey, there’s hope! Perhaps a state ahead of us will bungle their response worse than us and we can climb next year’s rankings through somebody else’s ineptitude. Wouldn’t that be sick?
THOSE WMDs. Finding from particle research could break the laws of physics… “White Lives Matter” group planning protest Sunday at the Statehouse… Special assistant to Cleveland mayor Frank Jackson charged with five counts of rape… Practice is the secret to being witty… How fit can you get just from walking?