About Damn Time
A chill bro watches the budget signing, Jim Harbaugh states a fact, and more.
I promoted the intern who pitched the idea of a “sale” in the last Rooster marketing meeting. It turns out I like the feeling of people giving me money, so I’m extending the deal of the century for another 24 hours: five dispatches a week for $5 a month or $30 a year.
You can also Venmo $20 to @warrengharding for a year subscription too, just be sure to include your email and I’ll manually add you.
I’m planning uninterrupted service while in Mexico City, unless I get abducted and my vital organs end up in the body of a mild-mannered cartel accountant.
Today isn’t about me. Today, we stan the Millennial king who attended the state budget signing ceremony dressed like he was going to day drink at Chili’s.
Camera, enhance…
Flip flops! Our man wore flip flops! Powerful College Republican energy radiating from this fella.
Let’s look at how other teens are handling Ohio raising the smoking age to 21:
If it takes the banning of fat clouds to radicalize the 18-20 demo, I’m with it.
SOMEBODY FINALLY GETS IN TROUBLE FOR FLOODING AMERICA WITH ADDICTIVE PAIN PILLS AND LYING ABOUT IT
Heroin never enticed me because I watched the effect it had on high school classmates. The lucky ones went to jail.
As it turned out, evil families like the Sacklers pushed magic oxycontin pills on medical distributors who employed hot chicks to peddle the pills to horny doctors. The doctors then lied to their patients about the potential for addiction.
That timeline looks like a petri dish of white collar crime, yet nobody has ever seemed to get in trouble for unleashing an epidemic that killed more Americans than 9-11.
From Lenny Bernstein of washingtonpost.com:
Federal prosecutors in Cincinnati filed criminal charges Thursday against an opioid distributor and two of its former executives, accusing them of conspiring with doctors and pharmacies to pour millions of addictive pain pills into Ohio, West Virginia and Kentucky.
The indictment of Miami-Luken, its former president and its former compliance officer was the second time in three months that federal prosecutors have used criminal laws against a drug distributor in their efforts to stem the prescription opioid epidemic. That is a more aggressive posture than the Justice Department has adopted since 2007, when it began using civil and administrative actions to enforce laws against drug distributors.
“There’s a need, in my opinion, to devote sufficient charges right here and now to stop the dying,” U.S. Attorney Benjamin C. Glassman said.
The single count of the grand jury indictment accused former Miami-Luken president Anthony Rattini and former compliance officer James Barclay of knowingly distributing powerful narcotic painkillers for other than medical reasons. The company itself, which went out of business late last year, also was charged.
Sounds like a good start if there are more charges coming for executives and crooked doctors. They miss me if the plan is to paint this one company as the El Chapo of the opioid epidemic.
BEANIE’S BROTHER SHOT IN AKRON
Terrible news out of Akron, as someone fatally shot Beanie Wells’ brother in Akron.
From Harry Boomer and John Deike of cleveland19.com:
AKRON, Ohio (WOIO) - A 31-year-old man is dead after he was gunned down in a driveway, police said.
Akron officers responded to the area of 7th Avenue and Weeks Street around 8 a.m. Thursday for a report of a shooting.
Officers said Joel Paul Wells had been shot in the head and was pronounced dead at the scene.
“That young man was shot and killed in our neighborhood, a neighborhood I grew up in, just steps away from my parents’ home,” Akron Ward 5 councilperson Tara Samples said.
19 News confirmed that the victim was the brother of former OSU star running back Beanie Wells.
“This is loss of life. Someone is burying their child and to hear that mom, to hear Ms Paulette just scream, the anguish, the hurt that she felt, that will stay with me forever. To watch a fire department come and wash this young man’s blood down the street in front of kids at the beginning of the day that will stay with me forever,” Samples told 19 News.
Beanie and family friends are offering a nearly $30,000 reward, and Summit County Crime Stoppers is offering a $5,000 reward for tips leading to the suspect’s capture.
Akron has not been kind to the hometown talent. We’re not even one year removed from a quadriplegic attempting to extort Wells and his family.
FAT GIRL SUMMER
I never thought I was the coolest person in Columbus or had the coolest friends, but it’s oddly comforting to know for sure that’s not the case.
From Adora Namigadde of wosu.org:
The women are the founders of Fat Babes Club Of Columbus, and they’ve come to this Merion Village café to plan a pool party for fat women.
Founded just a few months ago, Fat Babes Club Of Columbus is already making a big splash in the Midwest and around the country – they even appeared on NBC’s Today Show this month.
Krystal Orr, Hannah Godown, Jeannette Burchfield and Elizabeth Chinn met on the internet. Chinn says they’re all fat women who blog about fashion on Instagram.
“We all just really organically met for coffee, and it was just like, ‘We’re all obsessed with each other,’” Chinn says. “We realized there’s a big deficit in our community here in Columbus that we don’t really have anything that represents people of size.”
Fat Babes Club Of Columbus wants to fill that gap, and summer is the perfect time: It’s swimsuit season, which can be especially difficult for plus-sized people. Magazine headlines and Instagram posts promote ab workouts and diets for a “bikini ready” body.
Hell yeah, ladies. It’s about time somebody disrupted the Instagram Model Industrial Complex.
JIM HARBAUGH STATES FACT, GETS DRAGGED INTO DEPTHS OF HELL
I don’t miss blogging about Ohio State sports every day, but yesterday was one of them. I opened Twitter to see the marvelous mind of Michigan Man Jim Harbagh say something objectively true and promptly getting dragged into the depths of Hell for it.
From Kevin Harrish of elevenwarriors.com:
Urban Meyer went out 7-0 against Michigan and 4-0 against Jim Harbaugh in his Ohio State coaching career, but a few months into Meyer's retirement, Harbaugh is still swinging at the coach he never beat.
Harbaugh took a jab at the retired Buckeye head coach on Tim Kawakami's podcast with The Athletic, complimenting Meyer's record as a coach but criticizing him for the "controversy" that follows him.
"Urban Meyer's had a winning record. A really phenomenal record everywhere he's been," Harbaugh said. "But also, controversy follows everywhere he's been."
In terms of on-field production, Harbaugh did concede that as long as he's been at Michigan, his Wolverines have been no better than second best.
"All you can be judged on is your record. What your record is overall. What your record is within your conference. What your record is with head-to-head matchups," Harbaugh said. "I think you'll find Ohio State is the only team with a better record, a better conference record than us (since I've been there) and has a better head-to-head matchup with us."
A fired wide receivers coach who won’t be named is the only worse person than Jim Harbaugh to raise this critique. He’s also smart enough to know from their paychecks that college football abandoned morality a long time ago.
Urban Meyer could have shot a guy on Lane Avenue and if Jim Harbaugh said, “I think it was wrong to do that,” Ohio State fans would storm his social media mentions with reminders of his winless record against a guy we can’t even be sure pulled the trigger considering how much the media likes to lie on great men.
Is it right? No. Is it a glimpse into how bad Michigan has been cowed? Absolutely.
THOSE WMDs. 12 tallest buildings in Ohio… Owners of Columbus Dispatch in deal with Gannett News… Did an international drug dealer create Bitcoin? Maybe… How to talk yourself into better endurance… Disney heiress checks on worker conditions.
