Buckle up; it's about to get hectic

Looking ahead at a decisive week at 1 Capitol Square.

Most Americans do not care about state politics, which is a shame since the circus in Columbus affects their lives much more than the circus in Washington D.C.

This week, however, promises to be interesting even for those who aren’t usually interested in the Statehouse.

Speaker Jason Stephens (R-Kitts Hill) is in a more precarious situation than any Speaker since the FBI raided Larry Householder’s home and arrested him in the summer of 2020.

As of right now, he’s the only thing stopping the Holy Roller Republican push to enact a Special August Election, which the state basically banned in December, to kneecap a proposed abortion amendment by raising the passing threshold on such votes from 50 to 60 percent.

According to Secretary of State Frank LaRose, the deadline for enacting the August election is Wednesday.

After Stephens scuttled last week’s House session, the House will be in session this Wednesday at 2 p.m.

Currently, it appears the Holy Rollers don’t have the 60 votes needed to enact their legislation. The problem is legislators lie to lobbyists all the time. Nobody will know what happens unless the votes go to the floor—and that’s entirely at Speaker Stephens’ discretion.

I’ll spend as much time as possible at 1 Capitol Square this week, trying to interview the good legislatures and harassing the bad ones. I’m not used to good news in this state, so I’m prepared for the worst.

But the fact remains, the Democrats will abandon Speaker Stephens in the next Speaker’s vote if he abandons their deal to scuttle House Joint Resolution 1. Once people taste power, they tend to want to keep it. Hopefully, that’s his driving force. But I should have a better idea come Wednesday’s dispatch.

Larry Householder finds out pride comes before the fall

Our sweet, sweet boy Larry Householder, the disgraced former Speaker of the Ohio House, is awaiting his sentencing after being convicted of doing the RICO.

Part of the trial involved two undercover agents, posing as corrupt real estate developers, secretly recording a dinner conversation featuring Householder, the late disgraced super-lobbyist Neil Clark, and current Finance Chairman Jay Edwards (R-Nelsonville), who was never implicated in the HB-6 scandal.

Householder, then at the height of his powers, had some quotes that haven’t aged well since his fall from grace.

From Laura Bischoff of dispatch.com:

Republican icon Jo Ann Davidson supported Ashland car dealer Bill Harris to succeed her as speaker of the Ohio House, not Householder, in 2001. Householder outmaneuvered Harris and won the gavel.

During the dinner, Clark complained that Davidson worked against him for many years.

Householder chimed in: "Yeah, but we got her on the run now. She's ninety-(expletive)-two years old. We got her on the run. I am going to take the biggest s--- on her grave (unintelligible.)"

Davidson is still alive, so there’s a chance she will be able to visit Householder in federal prison to laugh at how the tables have turned. Unless she croaks in the near future, Householder won’t get to take that big shit on her grave.

"One guy was from, I don't know where. He was a short guy and he was, I would say Middle Eastern. I don't know. Cocky little bastard and he was (expletive) all the white women. Pissing me off, pissing all of us off," Householder says. "They were very wealthy, flying jets here and there and all this s---."

One morning police came to his dorm room door, causing Householder to worry about a fight he had gotten into uptown. Instead, officers were asking about the suitemate, checking to see if he was attending classes.

"I said, 'Hell no he hadn't been attending classes. That little bastard.' I said, 'All he does is kick in his private jet all over the damn place.'"

Householder claims that the police hauled the man off. "Little bastard comes up there and these guys grab him and he's squealing like a pig."

Gotta say: If I were a college woman, I’d rather fuck the Arab guy with the private jet than some racist bumpkin. Just my take on the matter!

Clark and Householder also took swipes at journalists and opined on the rapid decline of print newspapers.

"The printed media is going away. It doesn't count today," Clark says.

"They're on their last breath," Householder says. "I'll out live 'em. I guarantee you."

The death of printed media gave rise to corrupt slugs like Clark and Householder.

Maybe I’ll send him a free subscription to The Rooster once he gets settled to ensure he stays current on the news and gossip at the Swamphouse.

Columbus police (probably) did a mass shooting over the weekend

You probably heard about the mass shooting in the Short North early Saturday morning.

Well, it’s early Monday morning, and we still don’t know how many people were injured from the shooting that police say started with four Black males in a Mercedes.

Maybe that’s the case! But we don’t know because, once again, the cops responded to a crime in progress with basically every cop on duty and made zero arrests despite shutting down the Short North for hours.

But we’ll find out more later today!

From Mark Ferenchik of dispatch.com:

Gunshots rang out about 2:30 a.m. Saturday in the 600 block of North High Street, Within minutes, Columbus police officers arrived, hearing more gunshots close by. Multiple officers fired back.

Columbus police detectives and Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation agents on Saturday were trying to figure out how many people were injured. One person was in critical condition. No officers were hurt. Police found a gun at the scene.

Melanie Amato, Columbus police spokeswoman, said in a text she had no further information Sunday, but would have an update Monday.

Evidence of the gunfire remained Sunday morning. Two bullet holes and fractured windows remained at Roaming Goat Coffee, 849 N. High St.

That we haven’t heard from any of the shooting victims or seen any body camera footage leads me to believe the police showed up to a shooting in a popular neighborhood and promptly shot more innocent bystanders.

It’s pretty much the only thing that makes sense, given the coyness of the local police department. When have we ever gone this long without knowing the number of victims?

Still, despite failing to prevent the crime or apprehend the suspects, the small business tyrants of the Short North think the answer is more cops.

Jason Williams, the owner of Big Fun at 672 N. High St., said he wants more of a police presence in the Short North, every day, at all hours. A Cleveland native, Williams said the Short North is the best business district district in the state. He wants to keep it that way, although he knows violence is a problems in many places.

The Short North is already one of the most patrolled areas in the city, if not the most. The Short North Alliance routinely forks over hundreds of thousands of dollars at a time to ensure as many cops as possible in the area.

And yet, none of that has done anything to prevent the chaos as the Short North slides back into the crime-ridden area it was before gentrification took root.

This is the new normal since our local and state leaders have any solutions to the problem other than blaming one another for the chaos.

I don’t spend time in the Short North, but I won’t go there when the sun goes down. It’s not like anything is worthwhile there anyway if you don’t drink.

There’s a reason why I call Senator Matt Huffman a domestic terrorist

I feel like the American government, as currently construed, is a mistake. There is a reason no other country has our form of government. And the rich and powerful have figured out the choke points to prevent any real change from occurring.

Ohio is no exception.

From Jake Zuckerman of cleveland.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A looming clash between top Ohio Republicans is threatening to torpedo a $500 million state investment aimed at helping Ohioans who can barely afford to pay their rent

Both GOP Gov. Mike DeWine and the Republican-dominated state House advanced budgets proposing spending between $150 and $500 million in tax credits over the next 10 years for developers who build new units for low-income renters or owners.

We need a lot more than between $150 million and $500 million in tax credits for affordable housing in 10 years. But hey! It’s something, and something is always better than nothing.

But that idea will be scrapped because State Senate President Matt Huffman (R-Lima), a domestic terrorist, is against it because monied interests control him after successfully hoodwinking voters in Applebee’s Country.

Huffman is considered a “traditional Catholic,” so I’ll ask him how he squares his religious beliefs with shitting on housing for people this week if I see him. It’s certainly an odd interpretation of Jesus’ life and works.

I don’t expect him to react like a slug to salt, but it would be cool if he did. He is, without a doubt, one of the most evil men in state politics… which is saying a lot.

Huffman will return to the House of Representatives after he’s term-limited out of the Senate. He’ll want the Speaker’s gavel because collecting $68,000 yearly for a part-time job isn’t good enough for him unless he calls the shots.

Stephens can ward him off with Democratic support, which goes back to the HJR1 vote at the top of the post. This week will go a long way in deciding that battle, too.

THOSE WMDs. The prince with no throne… Excessive force, cover-ups: Whistleblower expands “SWAT Mafia” allegations… Legal journalism is broken… A new approach to building your personal brand… The great Millennial blood pressure problem.