Don't break your jaw in three places.

And if you do, don't also break your ankle for good measure.

I don’t know how many of you are pondering getting in a near-fatal car accident. I can’t recommend it.

My lie could be worse. I could be dead. I could be paralyzed. I could still be in the Grant Trauma Bay with my eyes stitched shut. Instead I’m back on Bellows Avenue surrounding by my magical cats.

Three weeks of easting smoothies, soups and broths are…