Well, at least the Randazzler is dead
The hung jury in the FirstEnergy corruption trial makes sense considering the already outgunned prosecution team agreed to fight with one hand behind its back.
A group of 12 geniuses in Summit County was unable to reach a unanimous verdict on state corruption charges against former FirstEnergy CEO Chuck Jones and its former Vice President of Bribes, Michael Dowling.
The jury remained deadlocked after eight days, with Attorney General Dave Yost already vowing to retry the case against two obviously corrupt shitbags for their roles in the largest bribery scheme in state history (that we know about).
Perhaps an untold number of those jurors live in a state of bliss in which former corporate executives regularly face criminal charges.
Instead, I live in Ohio, where the largest bribery scheme in state history (that we know about) led to paltry consequences at the ballot box, with only the most obviously corrupt politician in recent memory and some shitheel party chairman going to prison.
FirstEnergy already admitted it bribed the late Sam “The Randazzler” Randazzo days before he accepted Governor Mike DeWine’s offer to regulate his former employers as the chairman of the Public Utilities Commission.
FirstEnergy has also fired Jones and Dowling for their roles in the scheme, though its board of directors still felt that bankrolling the defense of two disgraced employees made sense from a business perspective for some odd reason.
A juror told Jake Zuckerman of Signal Ohio that “most” of his colleagues “thought [Jones and Dowling] “guilty” but that for him, it wasn’t “beyond a reasonable doubt” that they had committed bribery.
One longtime criminal defense lawyer who followed the case and spoke to The Rooster kept pointing to Summit County Common Pleas Judge Susan Baker Ross and the prosecution's agreement to a set of facts deemed “not admissible” in the trial.
When viewed in full, it’s easy to see how a battery of white-collar criminal lawyers that quadrupled the manpower on the prosecution team could instill “reasonable doubt” in an average citizen with no passing knowledge of the case.
Any FirstEnergy contributions or interactions with any 501(c)(4) organization or political action committee, including Partners for Progress, Inc., Hardworking Ohioans, Inc., Coalition for Growth & Opportunity, Inc., and Growth & Opportunity PAC.
Any FirstEnergy Solutions contributions or interactions with any 501(c)(4) organization or political action committee, including Partners for Progress, Inc., Hardworking Ohioans, Inc., Coalition for Growth & Opportunity, Inc., and Growth Opportunity PAC.
The existence, operations, contributions, or activities of any 501(c)(4) organization or political action committee, including Partners for Progress, Inc., Hardworking Ohioans, Inc., Coalition for Growth & Opportunity, Inc., and Growth & Opportunity PAC.
Any amount of money spent by FirstEnergy or FirstEnergy Solutions in support of any legislation or regarding any political issue.
Any events or conduct related to the ballot initiative seeking a referendum to repeal HB6, except for evidence relating to Sam Randazzo’s efforts to prevent the repeal of HB6.
The arrest, indictment, prosecution, trial, or conviction of Larry Householder or any other defendant in United States v. Householder, No. 20-cr-077 (S.D. Ohio) or State Householder, No. CR-24-690479-A (Cuyahoga Ct. Com. PI.).
Whether Sam Randazzo complied with the Ohio Rules of Professional Conduct applicable to lawyers.
The manner or method of Sam Randazzo’s death.
The indictment or prosecution o f any defendants in this case other than Mr. Dowling and Mr. Jones (including Sam Randazzo, Sustainability Funding Alliance and IEU-Ohio Administration).
Any guilty plea entered by any defendant in this case.
The existence or contents of any Deferred Prosecution Agreement or Non-Prosecution Agreement entered into by FirstEnergy.
The federal investigation, indictment or prosecution o f Mr. Dowling, Mr. Jones or
Mr. Randazzo
Information you learned as a result of the internal investigation conducted by
FirstEnergy, following Larry Householder’s arrest, or any remedial measures
FirstEnergy implemented following the internal investigation.
Any finding by the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio (”PUCO”) stemming from its four investigations into matters concerning FirstEnergy’s distribution utility
companies that are related to the allegations in this case. Excluded findings include the discoverability of a side deal during the ESP-IV proceedings, the use of funds received under the Distribution Modernization Rider and any penalties, fines or restitution assessed by PUCO against the FirstEnergy utility companies.
You can view that document in its entirety here:
Judge Baker, according to multiple sources who watched the trial in full, was “out of her depth.”
One reporter who covered the case relayed that Judge Baker “clearly hate[d]” Ohio Special Assistant Attorney General Matthew Meyer despite his noble pursuit of trying to imprison two corrupt white-collar shitbags who flaunted their criminality over unencrypted text messages.
Meanwhile, former Ohio Republican Party chairman Matt Borges, who went to prison for five years after rejecting a six-month plea bargain for his role in the scheme, seems confident that the Supreme Court will issue a cert grant on behalf of already-pardoned Cincinnati Democrat P.G. Sittenfeld, saying “bribery is free speech,” in a ruling that would almost assuredly free federal inmate Larry Householder:
Even Trump’s Department of Justice argued, only days ago, that Householder should remain imprisoned. But it’s still easy to see why Borges might feel confident, given the illegitimacy of the Supreme Court and the Golden Age of Bribery in which we seem to live.
Entire books have been written about why federal, let alone state, prosecutors have failed to prosecute corporate executives.
That Jones and Dowling are even being prosecuted speaks to how blatant their crimes were. And while a hung jury wasn’t ideal, at least we avoided a calamitous “not guilty” ruling, with federal charges still pending against these two crooks.
For the prosecution’s sake, I hope the next juries have the decency to subscribe to The Rooster. Because I can guarantee that ruling in Akron wouldn’t have gone down like that if even one of our most beautiful readers was in that room.
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Michael Cole’s horrible, no-good, very bad forum performance, by Gretta Gallows
Donning a bowtie almost as big as his ego, former Columbus City School Board president and Ohio House Democratic candidate Michael Cole found himself on stage for a public forum hosted by Columbus Stand Up on March 29th.
Cole’s opening remarks started with the most lackluster “OH-IO” call and response the central Ohio region has ever heard, and followed with declaring he is a “passionate advocate for a myriad of things” while not being able to nail down a specific thing or rattle off a short list of said passions.
