Fuck the Suburbs
We're going to Mexico.
My best friend since kindergarten once told me that it’s obvious when I don’t have my fastball. Not going to lie, today is one of those days considering it’s a free dispatch. If you want to see what my fastball looks like, here’s your chance to throw rubies at my feet ahead of tomorrow’s dispatch in which I will double down on my talents.
The Geneva Convention banned tear gas in 1925. Here is the self-identifying progressive leader of Columbus’ local government in 2020:
Another example of how machine politicians are full of shit. This fake proclamation doesn’t do anything to ban the wooden bullets that were shot at our heads.
AREA MAN WORKING TO ABSOLVE HIS PART IN ELECTING A DISEASED GAME SHOW HOST TO RUN AMERICA LIKE A BUSINESS
It’s hilarious watching Ohio Republicans pretend they didn’t fail the easiest moral test of our lifetime.
From Jessie Balmert of cincinnati.com:
COLUMBUS - Former Ohio Republican Party Chairman Matt Borges voted for President Donald Trump in 2016.
Now, he’s asking fellow Republicans to vote for Democrat Joe Biden instead.
Borges launched the Right Side PAC to unseat Trump by targeting key swing states, such as Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Arizona, North Carolina and Florida, Axios first reported. The super PAC is not currently focusing on Ohio.
Former Trump communications director Anthony Scaramucci, whom Borges met a month ago, is also part of the effort.
“For a lot of us, we ended up voting for Donald Trump because we knew what a disaster Hillary Clinton would be. We were willing to give Donald Trump a chance,” Borges told The Enquirer. “In some ways, he’s even been worse than we feared he could be.”
Congratulations on being dumb enough to vote for Donald Trump. This is something I would not advertise in public.
ANOTHER CRISIS ACTOR FAKES A BATTLE WITH CORONAVIRUS
Working on the West Side, it’s clear that “coronavirus is fake” and that “it will all come out on Obama.”
I try to tell them about the guy from my hometown whose clowning of COVID and ensuing death led him and his family into the pages of British tabloids. That does little to sway them, but perhaps this will…
From Angela Rhiegard of 10tv.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A central Ohio nurse is back home and on the road to recovery after a personal battle with COVID-19.
At the beginning of April, 46-year-old Michael Rhodes went to Washington D.C. to help treat COVID-19 patients. By April 30, doctors diagnosed him with COVID-19. Rhodes' condition worsened and he ended up in the ICU on a ventilator. His fiancée, Amber Wachenschwanz, and their three young boys were still in Ohio and had to get updates from doctors on the phone.
About three weeks ago, Rhodes was able to come back home.
…
"You can't go through something like this and not be affected," Rhodes said. "It was very traumatizing to just have no familiarity with anything. To know Amber and the boys were back here all alone, it was tough."
Rhodes said when he was first diagnosed, he never thought his condition would progress the way it did.
Just something for us all to think about. Coronavirus is all fun and games until you contract it.
THOSE WMDs. How to motivate yourself to do something difficult… The fall of Travis Kalanick was a lot weirder and darker than you imagined… The ungoverned globe… Our masked future… How accurate are online DNA tests?