Got Ur Self a Gun
Soon any freak off the street won't need any training or license to carry a concealed murder machine, much to the chagrin of the Ohio Fraternal Order of Police.
I live in Franklinton, the neighborhood where, statistically speaking, I’m more likely to be a victim of gun violence than anywhere else in the state. Two people have been murdered on my block in this year alone.
That’s the West Side of Columbus for you. Assume everyone is carrying a concealed gun on their persona because everyone is.
It’d be easy to convince myself I needed to carry my own weaponry to the corner store since “you never know.”
I choose to mind my own business rather than try to live out a that famous psychopath fantasy of being “a good guy with a gun.” Much to the chagrin of the haters and losers, I’m at least smart enough to realize I’d be likelier to obliterate my already fucked up dick if I did consistently carry a gun.
One pressing problem with this state, according to the Ohio Republican Party, is there aren’t enough guns on the street. After all, more people in Hawai’i own guns per capita than Ohio. And we need to pump up our rookie numbers.
The Ohio State Senate—the ostensibly more erudite legislative chamber—recently passed legislation that would remove the lax training and licensing requirements currently needed to carry a concealed weapon:
Senate President Matt Huffman (R-Lima) says the state's constitutional protection to bear arms doesn't say anything about training. He adds that this won't impact gun violence.
"If they're committing crimes they're not going to say 'oh, now I don't have to have a permit, before I had to have a permit.' It's a different mindset," says Huffman.
Rest assured “constitutional carry” will quickly be passed by the drunk lawyers, mattress salesmen, drug-addled wives and White Jesus zealots that comprise the Ohio House of Representatives.
Governor Mike DeWine will not like this bill. However, as we saw with his coronavirus response, he is acutely aware of a primary challenge from his right flank.
That was even before businessman Jim Renacci, who was one of the richest members of Congress when he served, officially entered the race. The chairman of the Greene County Republican Party, DeWine’s home county, endorsed Renacci last week.
Expect DeWine to sign the bill. Ohio is filled with people who fantasize about making sweet, passionate love to their guns. And 95% of them vote Republican. House and Senate leaders, in thrall of the murder lobby, knew exactly what they were doing by pushing this issue months before the gubernatorial primary.
Even Ohio Fraternal Order of Police President Gary Wolske is about to learn Republicans only “Back the Blue” when there are uppity black people and other frightening elements of the radical left running amok on the streets while demanding things like civil rights.
Even the FOP’s network of street gangs will become campaign fodder in name of Americans’ God-given right to fuck their guns.
From an op-ed Wolske wrote to dispatch.com:
Legislators don’t want to hear the concerns of the men and women who keep your family safe. They aren’t interested in the balance between public safety and individual freedom.
The 24,000 members of the Ohio Fraternal Order of Police are interested. Many police personally own guns, use guns recreationally, and strongly support the rights of law-abiding citizens to do the same.
However – because it keeps everyone safe – we support the current legal requirement for people to tell officers during a traffic stop or other interaction that they have a weapon in easy reach.
I almost want to make sure Wolske didn’t just awake from a 30-year, medically induced coma before I laugh too hard at the man. Either way, congratulations are in order for him just realizing this current crop of Republican lizards only care about maintaining their power.
These jackals sacrificed their own voters in waves to coronavirus because it was the politically expedient message to do so.
Wolkse is going to be shocked to learn they do not care in the slightest whatever some union boss has to say. Especially the cop union boss. Because they know the rank-and-file cops will still pull the lever for Trump’s party like the subordinate little piggies that they are.
To the rank-and-file police officer, “constitutional carry” expands the license to kill racial minorities, poor people and the mentally ill. They won’t even need the suspect to be armed anymore. Anything can become a gun. And why wouldn’t these brave officers be scared when responding to a crime scene in a state that allows anyone off the street to carry a murder machine? You don’t need to be a genius to see where this dark train leads.
You almost have to wonder where the gun lobby goes from here. There victory has been so complete it’s astounding. Constitutional carry. Teachers carrying glocks. No longer needing to retreat before fatally shooting someone in a “life-threatening” situation.
Rest assured, their hobgoblins will find something. Lord knows their political flunkies will need a new way to differentiate themselves from Republican opponents, who are gun-grabbing liberals like Beto O’Rourke because they don’t support replacing public schools with militia training.
I don’t like thinking about this too much because it makes me crazy enough to want to go get myself a gun.
THOSE WMDs. He wore a wire and risked his life to expose who was in the KKK… Vox’s Christmas bonus is a $75 gift card to Vox’s store… The lawyer who’s confronting the Sackler family… Elon Musk says he lives in a $50,000 house; he doesn’t talk about his Austin mansion… This man does not make poppers.
I would suggest that the next move for the gun lobby is to expand and strengthen so-called stand your ground laws - possibly even including a federal law under the next Republican administration. It will be called the "Rittenhouse Public Safety Act" or something just as cursed.