Here's Why I Want to Legalize the Theft and Euthanasia of Dogs, by State Senator Niraj Antani

The truth is, I would laugh if somebody stole your dog and killed it. But especially if it happened to this broad who blocked me on Tinder. My new bill will make that easier.

Hello, gentle reader! It is I, State Senator Niraj Antani (R-Sewer)! Please make sure to take note of my name as I will one day asks for your vote in my inevitable statewide run when I am termed-limited out of the Senate.

It’s been a while since we last talked. As usual, I have been keeping my axe to the grindstone which means enjoying all the nightlife …