How High is Matt Finkes?
How High is Matt Finkes?
He must have that good good because the "Director of Development" at the Wexner Medical Center apparently believes that millions of people have been hypnotized into believing the coronavirus.
I officially returned to society when, in the summer of 2020, I strapped on my walking boot and went to work eight hours at The Patio Bar, only three weeks after I crashed my car into a wall like a dipshit and awoke in the ICU. “Can’t live in fear of a seasonal virus” as the right-wing freaks love to remind us.
Here we are 18 months later entering the junior year of COVID. I’m sure you’re a lot like me—tired of any and all discourse. And I admit, it’s easier for me to do that without children. (I always knew never having sex would one day pay off.)
I am boosted, wear my mask in appropriate settings, and am living my life much in the same way I did in those halcyon days before the phrase “the novel coronavirus” got seared into my mental rolodex.
But even now, with at least 850,000 Americans killed, there are still thunderous declarations of stupidity that make me turn and wonder if I’m being pranked by a wily T.V. host whom I will assault on camera the second they reveal themselves.
I am speaking of this disastrous tweet from former Ohio State defensive lineman Matt Finkes:
Ohio State fans cursed enough to be familiar with Finkes’ odious social media presence might even be surprised to see the depths to which he has sunk.
Which is impressive since Finkes has been wrong about the pandemic every step of the way, which means he has stumbled his way into thinking that, no, it’s millions of other people who have been hypnotized into thinking mainstream medical solutions work better against COVID than digesting horse paste or drinking your own urine.
It’s breathtaking stupidity even before you consider Finkes’ LinkedIn profile lists himself as “Director of Development at the The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.”
Directing the development of what, exactly, remains unknown. It sure as hell won’t be developing a plan to get that freak Les Wexner’s name stricken from the center.
I doubt Finkes would take a loved one to Joe Rogan’s operating table if a loved one needed medical care that might be caused by coronavirus. He would likely take them to the Wexner Medical Center—right through the swinging doors of the Abercrombie & Fitch Emergency Room—into the care of the unionized nurses who have been burnt to a crisp by their greedy bosses and flippant assholes like Finkes who can’t be troubled with medical advice that most toddlers can understand.
Maybe he hasn’t heard. There’s an ongoing coronavirus surge in the state’s hospitals. At least 30,000 Ohioans have died.
Governor Mike DeWine deployed the Army National Guard, but half of them aren’t vaxxed and are a health risk at the last place there should be one.
How the National Guard can’t mandate that vaccine like all the others is a mystery to me, but our state’s solution is out-of-state medical mercenaries.
From Laura Hancock of cleveland.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- The first out-of-state medical staff have arrived in Ohio to assist hospitals during the latest COVID-19 surge, part of a state contract with a staffing agency to bring in workers.
Four registered nurses arrived at ProMedica Toledo Hospital last week. An additional seven RNs and 14 respiratory therapists arrived Monday, said Tausha Moore, the hospital’s public relations director.
“We expect to onboard nurses and therapists from ProLink every Monday for the next two weeks,” she said, referring to the staffing agency. “We have requested roughly 100. ProLink has indicated that it believes it will be able to meet that request.”
Maybe Finkes doesn’t act with any medical personal within the capacity of his job at one of the state’s most prestigious medical institutions. Doctors and nurses obviously don’t have anything to learn from him when it comes to licensed professionals’ ability to fight coronavirus.
If I were them, I’d have a hard time being in the same room with a neanderthal who soils the hospital’s brand by mocking the severity of the pandemic. This isn’t March 2020 anymore. It’s 2022, and Finkes is reveling in open conspiracy theories to his platform of fascist Buckeye fans who fantasize about Civil War but can’t jog around the block.
Do you want to go to a hospital that employs this goof? I don’t even want to go to his chocolate store.
I’m telling the Uber driver to take me to the second-closest hospital, and yes I’m aware I’m bleeding all over the back of his car from a gunshot wound that came about because I wouldn’t stop talking shit online. It’s cheaper than an ambulance.
THOSE WMDs. Tourism officials reveal plan for possible Amtrak station… This keyboard let’s people type so fast it’s banned from competitions… Google had secret program to convince employees that unions suck… The cinder block sofa on this Chicago deck is one of many genius DIYs… Employees at Cleveland’s W. 6th’s Starbucks take first step towards unionizing.
"fascist Buckeye fans who fantasize about Civil War but can’t jog around the block"
But enough about my family and all my childhood friends.