Let the Record Show I Never Liked Kanye West
It would seem Republicans are worried about Donald Trump's re-election chances.
Four years ago, 68 Americans voted for a career criminal to run the federal government like a business and “Make America Great Again,” whatever the Hell that meant.
The Republican Party wagered they could put an unfit speed freak in the Oval Office in exchange for a slew of federal judges. Their plan to reward corporate bosses and strip healthcare from millions of hardworking Americans might have worked if the Trump Administration would have taken the threat of coronavirus seriously.
President Business Deals is now trailing in every major poll to a guy whose best strategy is literally sitting in his basement and letting Deals keep sticking his foot down his throat.
And that’s without mentioning the legal noose tightening around the neck of the guy who had to become president before federal and state tax authorities decided to take another glance at the income streams of a carnival barker who claimed to be a billionaire:
The Republican Party, these big-business-brained geniuses gave up on legitimately courting the black vote long ago, so it makes sense their latest gambit is orchestrating a sham candidacy from a washed-up rapper in hopes of siphoning black voters from Joe Biden on account of the widely known fact that black voters are inclined to support any random black candidate at the polls.
I can’t even begin to guess at the politics of someone who would pull the lever for Kanye West in a presidential election during a global pandemic. I suppose I’ll never get the answer to that conundrum on account of it’s one thing to submit papers to run for president and another thing entirely to have your petition’s signatures vetted by the Board of Elections.
Wow! Seems like Kanye West, or more likely somebody he hired, committed a felony. What mastermind could possibly be behind this last-minute effort to push a carnival act into a consequential presidential election?
You would think the corrupt lawyer who undoubtedly took part in the largest corruption scheme in state history would be on his way to managing a Cinnabon in Omaha by now (if you get that reference, congratulations on having good taste in television shows). Perhaps he’s thinking one last grift to try to funnel to his grandkids.
Honestly I feel bad for Kanye. Sure, he had a couple groovy songs or whatever the fuck back in the day that people swore they liked, but no fame or fortune is worth is becoming too famous to the point where I alienate my lifelong friends and become surrounded by sycophants who parlay my mental illness into a Republican-engineered election ploy.
A couple months ago the only way I would have believed Joe Biden would win Ohio would have been on Election Night when it happened in front of my motherfucking face. But sometimes your opponent whiffs on a counterpunch that leaves you with insight to their overall desperation.
Liberals love to pretend this an election for “the soul of America.” That’s not true unless you think Trump losing will automatically revert our country to the fairytale status that only exists in the propaganda we were spoon-fed from a very early age.
Beating Trump is only the start of a very long road that we will have to walk to cleanse the country of the venereal disease that led millions of us electing a gameshow host as president.
But Trump can’t win without Ohio, and that’s a fact, Jack. If this is the best cards the criminal minds of the Ohio GOP have to play — scrambling some halfwit lawyer who should have left the country two weeks ago to enlist a psychotic Wyoming resident to run as a third-party spoiler — then I’m starting to think the rats on the Titanic are starting to look for the exists.
THOSE WMDs. The Sledgehammer: Mexico outlines capture of capo who never slept in the same place twice… A sneaky theory of where language came from… Chicago tried to dig its way out of flooding problems for decades… Why prescription drugs are so expensive… Finding the Fountain of Youth in an Irish bog.