It's hard to overstate how cooked the Holy Rollers are on Issue 1

It will be nice in a couple weeks when we can talk about something else.

Ohio politics is a dark place full of horrors. It’s a common refrain in these hallowed pages, but it helps explain the creeping anxiety I had started to feel around Issue 1 in November.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop in Ohio is my standard mindset. I was worried about the enthusiasm gap in that the Holy Rollers would literally think they were on a mission from God. At the same time, many voters on our side had been conditioned not to say “abortion” in polite political conversations.

But I kept reminding myself that there was a reason why the ostensible fiscal conservatives in the Ohio Republican Party lit $20 million on fire in a feeble attempt to raise the Constitutional threshold from 50 percent to 60 percent.

From Nick Evans of ohiocapitaljournal.com in July:

The latest release from a Suffolk University/USA Today poll conducted earlier this month indicates a strong majority of Ohioans support a reproductive rights amendment. Importantly, just as past polls have suggested, that backing falls at 58%, just short of the 60% threshold that could be necessary for passage if Issue 1 is approved by Ohio voters on Aug. 8.

Undoubtedly good news, then. But a lot can change in three months.

Especially when the other side is intentionally misleading voters by trying to hide that the so-called Heartbeat Bill, which bans abortion before a lot of women know they’re pregnant and contains no exceptions for rape or incest, could become law as soon as the Republican-juiced State Supreme Court rules on its constitutionality.

From Andrew J. Tobias and Laura Hancock of cleveland.com:

In campaign communications, canvassing events and television appearances, groups working to defeat State Issue 1 have been telling voters the abortion-rights amendment is unnecessary because abortion is legal in Ohio through 22 weeks. That’s functionally true, but it ignores that Gov. Mike DeWine signed a law in January 2019 that bans abortion when a fetal heartbeat can be detected, which is around six weeks into pregnancy.

The heartbeat law, which was enforced for 82 days after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in June 2022, has been on hold for over a year because of an ongoing legal challenge. If that challenge fails – a marked possibility, given Republican control of the Ohio Supreme Court – the six-week ban would return. While the courts decide the heartbeat law’s constitutionality, the state law has reverted to the previous abortion cutoff of 22 weeks.

Anti-abortion activists have been obfuscating that fact, shifting the message they are projecting to voters in the final weeks of the campaign.

“You can have an abortion up to and through the fifth month of pregnancy – or right around the fifth month of pregnancy – for rape, incest, life of the mother or for choice,” said Mike Gonidakis, a top anti-abortion lobbyist in Ohio who has repeatedly predicted the Ohio Supreme Court will uphold the heartbeat law.

Living in Ohio, you start to understand why Indian philosopher Bara Dada (not Ghandi) once said, “Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians, you are not like him.”

But Christians like Gonidakis have no problem lying and misleading voters as a means to the end of their Godly mission. I’m pretty sure bearing false witness is one of the few commandments of their religion, but I’ll leave that judgment to their White Jesus.

They lie because they know that some people will believe anything if it’s said with enough authority, and they don’t have the knowledge to debunk the claim immediately.

But it’s also a sign of desperation. And boy, given this new poll from Baldwin Wallace University, the desperation from their side is understandable.

From John Kosich of news5cleveland.com:

The BW CRI Ohio Pulse Poll shows 58% of likely voters for the November 7 election favor passage of Issue 1, which is favored by 89% of Democrats, 39% of Republicans and 51% of independents. In addition, 65% of parents, 54% of gun owners and 37% of evangelicals support Issue 1. Only 8% of respondents were undecided.

Thank God I earned that C+ in Statistics 110 or whatever it was at Ohio State. Of the many dumb opinions I had at that age, one that sticks out was generally not believing that you could poll 1,070 random people (as Baldwin Wallace did) and effectively forecast it to a state with a population of 11.78 million.

But it’s true! You can!

As I said in the title of this dispatch, it’s hard to overstate how bad this poll is for the Holy Rollers. And I’m not talking about how they have failed to move a single percentage point worth of voters off the “Yes” position since July.

They’ve tried to pitch Issue 1 as something that would “end parental rights,” yet they’re 15 points underwater (from their perspective) with parents. They’re losing 54 percent of gun owners, a traditionally conservative voting block. Hell, they’re losing 39 percent of Republicans in an election they need every Republican to vote their way to win!

Most shockingly, they’re losing 37 percent of the Evangelical vote—and that’s just the amount of Evangelicals willing to admit their taboo position to a pollster.

On Wednesday morning, I was near an entrance to the Statehouse, looking at a TV screen showing the upcoming legislative schedule.

A nice gentleman in a suit approached me and informed me that “my boy” was currently giving an interview outside the Senate chamber. I took the tip and got to stepping.

While going up the stairs, I realized I hadn’t thought to ask him which one of my boys I would soon see.

But it was Michael Gonidakis, the infamous puppy mill lobbyist who is also president of Ohio Right to Life. A couple of months ago, I got him to admit on camera that a 10-year-old rape victim would be forced to have their rapist’s baby in his perfect society because “Ohio has great healthcare.” (Spoiler: It does not.)

That video has nearly half a million views on TikTok.

Our relationship has been a bit frostier since then! But as you can see in the video, Gonidakis was in no mood for pleasantries after trying to make me believe that one of the most politically connected lobbyists in Columbus wasn’t aware of an alarming poll that got released that morning.

The funniest moment comes at 1:09 in the clip, when Gonidakis tries to lose me by going out through security and then using his lobbyist badge to walk back through the checkpoint without having to clear security again.

He thought I would be forced to empty my bags and go through security again, allowing him to lose me.

But Gonidakis didn’t anticipate that I’m on good terms with the State Troopers at the Statehouse. My antics amuse them if nothing else. And they know I’m not up there to do bodily harm to anyone.

After I released Gonidakis back to his hobgoblin activities like a diseased fish into the polluted stream from which I had snatched him, I realized I missed an opportunity to ask him about the other nail in the coffin for the Holy Rollers: Issue 2, which would legalize marijuana, is slated to pass by a similar margin as Issue 1.

From news5cleveland.com:

A similar majority of 57% said they plan to vote yes on Issue 2, which would legalize recreational use of marijuana. Just 7% of respondents were undecided.

Well, thank god the Ohio Democratic Party didn’t rally around Issue 2. It would have been highly embarrassing for them to be associated with a broad, bipartisan coalition of primarily younger voters that will win a statewide election without any traditional campaign infrastructure. That would have probably been highly embarrassing for them.

But when you add the numbers, seeing a road to victory for the Holy Rollers is impossible. Ultimately, their social agenda is wildly unpopular with over a third of its members!

They got addicted to their gerrymandered state legislature enforcing their draconian moral codes through fiat, and their agenda is about to be unwound with a single vote because they kept pushing toward a total abortion ban like the freaks they are.

But don’t take my word for it. We still need to vote. I assume anybody reading this particular outlet is already politically engaged enough to know that, so please check in with your normie friends and stress why it’s crucial that they vote, too.

People like being on the winning side, and this election will improve material conditions in a way that will be obvious to everyone. Stuff like that can go a long way with nontraditional voters, which we’ll need in abundance for the fights to come next year.

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