The 10 most insane lies told against Issue 1

Here are the most batshit moments spindled by the anti-abortion losers on the verge of a historic loss.

Folks, we’re hopefully days away from Ohio enshrining abortion and birth control rights into the state constitution. That means ordinary people will be able to go back to not thinking about the private medical decisions of other people. At the same time, some of the worst political actors in the state have to live with their life’s work being unwound in a single vote.

I wrote on Oct. 20th that it’s hard to overstate how overcooked the Holy Rollers are on the issue. That’s just one man’s opinion on the issue—I urge everyone to make sure their non-political friends get out and vote for Issues 1 and 2—but nothing has happened in the last two weeks to dissuade me of that notion.

I have yet to privately talk to a Republican legislator or political operative who thinks Issue 1 is going to fail. The most enthusiastic endorsement I’ve heard from that side is that “It will be closer than the August Special Election,” which was a 14-point defeat.

I predict that Issue 1 will pass by 15 to 19 points. But again, that’s one man’s opinion, and it’s not like I get paid for my political predictions. But given that we’re only five days away from settling this debate, I figured it’d be an excellent time to memorialize the ten-most batshit insane lies told against Issue 1.

Buckle your seatbelts, folks! Because it’s about to get hot and heavy.

Two of the biggest losers in the State Legislature lie on a 10-year-old rape victim to further their political agenda

Anybody reading this demented newsletter probably remembers the 10-year-old rape victim that became a flashpoint in Ohio’s abortion debate.

It’s a case that I feel uncomfortable treating like a political football. It’s a disgusting situation in the abstract. Still, it involves a real person who is going to have to live with the lifelong trauma of one of the worst moments of her young life becoming political fodder.

Attorney General Dave Yost and Congressman Jim Jordan (R-Urbana) famously called the situation another leftist lie.

You would have thought those anti-abortion losers would have learned their lesson and reflected on the trauma they inflicted on a 10-year-old girl.

But no! State Reps. Gary Click (R-Vickery) and Scott Wiggam (R-Wooster) used the closing moments of the Issue 1 debate to peddle another lie about this poor girl.

These two lied about the girl’s attacker being the one to take her to Indiana for an abortion. As we know from court testimony, it was, in fact, her mother who took her to Indiana after reporting her rape to authorities.

When I confronted Rep. Wiggam about his lies on Wednesday, he chose instead to claim that I was defending the “child molesting rapist” before telling more lies about Issue 1, namely that the ballot language decided by Secretary of State Frank LaRose and the Ohio Ballot Board somehow hurts their side at the polls.

These two self-described Christian men should be ashamed of themselves.

These deadbeats would actually be better fathers!?!?

The anti-abortion side has struggled to find a consistent message throughout this campaign. They also have socially stunted weirdos crafting their ads.

Take this one featuring men wearing shirts like, “Pregnant women aren’t women.” Apparently, these theoretical pregnant women would be better off having lifelong consequences for their poor taste in men.

I honestly thought this was a pro-Issue 1 ad at first. I was wrong!

A militia musters to prevent Ohio from turning into a Muslim state

There are lies. And then there is the belief that Ohio could enshrine the right to child sex trafficking, child slavery, and genital mutilation into the State Constitution.

It’s hard to believe arguments like this will persuade the educated suburbanites who will play an outsized role in the Issue 1 election.

[via Ohio Legislative Watch]

Uh, is that a dead baby?

Look. I don’t have any biological children. At 36 years old, it’s looking like that won’t be in the cards of destiny for me, either. I realize I’m probably not the target audience for this ad.

But I commend this couple for turning what must have been a horrible moment into something they’ll cherish. That’s a lesson in tenacity.

But I also don’t think their personal decision to continue the pregnancy of a non-viable fetus is enough to end abortion rights for everybody else in the state. Plus, I think showcasing the dead baby like a trophy is a little creepy. But that’s just me!

These people don’t have to pay taxes

You listen to the part of this sermon and just assume it’s a crazy lady spewing nonsense in some musty basement somewhere in rural Ohio.

But no! That lady is Janet Folger Porter, the author of the Ohio Heartbeat Bill that would be current law in the state if not for a judge’s injunction (that could go away at any time if Issue 1 fails).

Personally, I don’t think kooks should be writing medical legislation! And I think most Ohioans are going to agree with me.

[via Ohio Legislative Watch]

It’s crazy that poorly edited memes filled with lies didn’t do more to turn the tide in their favor

The Holy Rollers love describing medical procedures in the most outlandish, non-medical terms possible. Then they love conflating actual babies (pictured) with fetuses that wouldn’t be able to survive outside their mother’s womb.

I should be the last one casting stones about typos, but in my defense, my dispatches are much longer than two sentences. The author of this meme, which was shared by State Rep. Joshua Williams (R-Sylvania), couldn’t even eliminate the errors before sharing their nonsense.

Ah, so there is an acceptable level of abortion after all!

One of the most common misdirections of the anti-abortion campaign has been talking about how “current law” allows for abortion up to 22 weeks of pregnancy and includes exceptions for rape, incest or the mother’s life.

It ignores that the Ohio Right to Life movement couldn’t accept those already draconian limitations, which is why they passed the so-called Heartbeat Bill. That barbaric law bans abortion before most women know they’re pregnant—without exceptions for rape or incest.

The Heartbeat Bill could become law as soon as the Republican-juiced Supreme Court rules on its constitutionality. Governor Grandpa Sleepy Tea has already laughably suggested that they’ll add exceptions for rape or incest to the Heartbeat Bill if Ohio voters trust them enough to throw Issue 1 in the trash.

Ha! They must think we’re stupid.

English, motherfucker, do you speak it!?

It’s always a treat to see the side that wants English mandated as the official language of America treat “speaking in tongues” as something more legitimate than a toddler’s babbling.

This all-night prayer rally against Issue 1 features claims that children are being tortured on Halloween, that the Children’s Hospital is the most Satanic place in Cincinnati, and that the Devil wants to “rape” Ohio.

We can thank the Ohio Republican Party for legitimizing these freaks.

[via Ohio Legislative Watch]

This looks like a manifesto found in the home of somebody who just killed 25 people with an AR-15

I’ve written about this manifesto before, and it still brings a tear to my eye. Who doesn’t love opening mail and immediately thinking they failed a freshman English essay?

I also love the paternalistic assumption that their voters aren’t smart enough to discern a single page of bullet-pointed information without the insane editing notes of a syphilitic professor.

This kind of stuff only works on people who agree with them in the first place.

State Rep. Jennifer Gross (R-West Chester) gets her news from extremely cursed news sources

This story is about the ACLU litigating an aggravated prostitution law in Tennessee.

But of course, State Rep. Jennifer Gross (R-West Chester), one of the biggest kooks in the Ohio Legislature, is drawing her news from a source that wants to direct the ACLU legal action into hate toward Black and transgender people.

This should be a scandal that would lead to her resignation. But in Ohio, it’s just another day with Rep Gross.

Thankfully, she’s in for a reckoning of a lifetime on Tuesday. She won’t enjoy her next interaction at the Statehouse with the Patriots Caucus Camera, either.

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