The biggest losers from Ohio's seismic election
The biggest losers from Ohio's seismic election
Recapping the biggest stumblebums, anti-abortion weirdos, grifters, and bozos that got truck-sticked by the state's hog voters.
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It’s been six days since Ohio’s hog voters ran wild on the reactionary agenda of the state’s Republican Party. I’m still buzzing about the victory that put the Ohio Workers Republic to the left of California on the issue of reproductive rights.
We know who won the night: Mainly every Ohioan under the age of 60. But as always, it’s time to tabulate the losers in the fair and impartial manner for which The Rooster has become known from the Ohio River to Lake Erie.
Secretary of State Frank LaRose
Secretary of State Frank LaRose disgraced his office in the name of his nascent Senate bid to become the face of the “Yes” vote in Ohio’s August Special Election.
Ohio voters spit in the easy-to-see-through political power grab to the tune of a 14-point defeat. Most politicians would take the defeat as a chance to a long look at themselves in the mirror.
But LaRose has never been known for his political instincts, which is why he doubled down on his failed strategy to become the face of the “No” vote in the November election.
This time Ohioans spit on him by the tune of a 13-point defeat. The two beatings have done nothing to help his Senate campaign, which was already on life support due to his piss-poor ability to raise money despite a decade in state politics.
From David Skolnick of vindy.com:
Some of LaRose’s supporters told me that between those two failures at the ballot box and his inability to raise an impressive amount of money during his first reporting quarter, his bid for Senate looks shaky.
One told me that LaRose’s name recognition will go only so far, and Moreno is going to spend so much money on the race that LaRose is going to get steamrolled. Moreno announced Thursday a $2 million “initial phase” of a “statewide advertising blitz.”
That wasn’t the only defeat for LaRose, either. His handpicked choice for Upper Arlington School Board, the Center for Christian Virtue freak Ruth Edmonds, finished last in a six-way race despite raising an astronomical $51,000 for a localized contest.
LaRose should quit now to save his family the shame, but he’s in too deep! His wife’s horror is going to be our entertainment.
Grandpa Sleepy Tea and Ohio’s Shadow Governor Fran DeWine
Anti-abortion zealots initially thought “DeWine intervention” would be the difference between the August Special Election and the November General Election.
After all, Ohio’s hog voters had re-elected DeWine by 25 points over a widely unknown former mayor of Dayton in 2022. Surely a commercial featuring DeWine talking sternly next to his wife would be enough to erase the 14-point deficit!
Unfortunately for the losing side, DeWine’s “hands-on” approach to the November election did nothing to move the needle, especially since he signed Ohio’s barbaric, so-called “Heartbeat Bill” with zero exceptions for rape or incest.
To throw extra salt in the wound, DeWine, a longtime drug war dinosaur, watched in horror as Ohio legalized the devil’s lettuce on the same night the state enshrined abortion rights in the constitution.
But don’t feel bad for ol’ Grandpa Sleepy Tea! He used the commotion of the election to do what he does best: Take care of his corrupt friends through patronage.
Aaron Baer and the Center for Christian Virtue
A god-awful 2023 continued on Tuesday for the Center of Christian Virtue.
A mere 11 months ago, CCV was riding high on the apparent selection of State Rep. Derek Merrin (R-Monclova) as the next Speaker of the House. CCV gremlins were ecstatic about how “easy” their reactionary agenda would be to pass through the House.
Well, we know what happened next! Merrin’s sorry ass fell through the floor and CCV lost about as much as any lobbyist group in Columbus at that moment.
CCV President Aaron Baer spent years deluding himself that his work with the gerrymandered legislature meant that Ohio was a “pro-life” state. Well, he entered the “find out” stage of fucking around on Tuesday as Ohio’s hog voters unwound about a decade of CCV’s hard-earned barbarism in Ohio’s abortion laws.
Baer, like DeWine, can thank his push for the “Heartbeat Bill” — with no exceptions for rape or incest — playing a role in many Ohioans voting in favor of Issue 1.
Baer should have tried being normal for once in his life! But like LaRose, he won’t learn his lesson. Because all the CCV has left is peddling hate towards transgender people of all ages and their bathroom choices.
It’s a war they’re going to lose, too.