January 23, 2019

Browns fans voted 25th most insufferable, John Dorsey on Baker Mayfield, Wright State teachers strike, and more.

I’ve watched every game of the playoffs, and the NFL is lucky a clown coached the Browns for half the season. Otherwise Tom Brady would be back in Boston crying with his beautiful wife and hundreds of millions of dollars instead of preparing for his 18th Super Bowl.

America has yet to recognize the war machine on the banks of Lake Erie. Snarky bloggers are ranking us fans as the 25th-most obnoxious fanbase in the league.

From Matt Meltzer of thrillist.com:

25. Cleveland Browns

You know all those jokes people make about Ohio? You ARE those jokes. And it's hard to be bothered by a group of people dedicated to an awful franchise that, three years after moving and changing their name to the Ravens, somehow managed to win a Super Bowl. Sure, you might toss the occasional dog biscuit/snowball/glass bottle on the field, but you're America's lovable losers -- just incredibly  delusional. You really thought [Charlie Frye, Brady Quinn, Seneca Wallace, Trent Dilfer, Tim Couch, Jake Delhomme, Brian Hoyer, Colt McCoy, Derek Anderson, Ken Dorsey] were legitimate starting quarterbacks?

First of all, nobody except Notre Dame stans thought Brady Quinn would be good. Holy hell, I forgot all about Seneca Wallace. Also missed the parade when we signed Trent Dilfer.

The national media better enjoy their worn-out jokes because all it’s going to take is for the Browns to go 1-0 for us to become more obnoxious than Patriots fans. I personally vow to finish in the top five of individual power rankings.

Cleveland Browns fans are so hungry for a winner that GM John Dorsey could one day have a statue for merely drafting Baker Mayfield No. 1 overall.

Dorsey, for his part, says he knew months in advance that Mayfield would likely be the pick. That didn’t stop him from doing his homework.

From Mary Kay Cabot of cleveland.com:

“He’s mature beyond his age group and I’m just happy he’s a member of the Cleveland Browns organization and I can’t wait to see what he does next year,’’ Dorsey said Tuesday between practices at the Senior Bowl.

Dorsey met with Mayfield for the first time here last year and it confirmed for him that he was the pick.

“I knew in my heart of hearts what he was back in the month of October, November, but I think you keep that to yourself and you listen to everybody,'' Dorsey said. "You don’t want to influence the room and you want the room to have Baker earn their respect and I think he did that for everybody in the organization.’’

It’s impressive Dorsey prioritized Mayfield yet the press wasn’t sure he’d be the pick until 10 minutes before the selection. Still surreal to have a competent general manager.

Dorsey declined to compare Mayfield to Patrick Mahomes, the wunderkind he drafted in Kansas City:

“First off, I’m not going to talk about another team’s player," he said. “I will talk about Baker Mayfield. I like everything about his makeup. I like how his teammates really rally behind him, I like his eyes downfield, I like his accuracy with his deep throws, I like how he shows that fighter’s spirit when it comes time to come back, he’s fighting through to come back and I applaud those things. He’s dynamite (in the red zone), he’s very good."

I would drink 10,000 beers with Dorsey and Mayfield.

I feel confident I could outlast Mayfield on account of him being a 5’11” professional athlete. Dorsey is the kind of guy who can drink 10,000 beers and pass a sobriety test.

Wright State University has been financially mismanaged for years. It culminated Tuesday morning when university professions went on strike. Like everyone else, they’ve had to make ends meet with stagnant wages while healthcare costs explode.

From Max Filby of daytondailynews.com:

“This is terrible for this university but they’ve left us no choice, Martin Kich, president of the AAUP-WSU said while on the picket line this morning.

The strike is the union’s response to the WSU board of trustees decision on Jan. 4 to implement the final terms of employment for the union which includes moving faculty union members into a “uniform” health care plan, maintaining current rules of retrenchment, including no pay raises and allowing faculty to be furloughed as part of “cost savings days.” In its strike notice, the union took issue with the furlough policy, changes to health care, new provisions for promotions and tenure appointment, workload and a merit pay system.

Wright State’s finances have contributed to trouble at the negotiating table. The university reduced its spending by around $53 million in fiscal year 2018 in an attempt to begin correcting years of overspending.

The biggest loser, of course, is the students who paid thousands of dollars for an education now in the hands of scabs. Let’s see how that’s playing out for them:

I stand with the teachers. Strikes work, and we’re going to see more of them in 2019.

Cheers to Republican Rep. John Becker for realizing the Ohio House has done nothing in recent memory to deserve the $3,000 raise his colleagues attached to a bill aimed at improving benefits for relatives of first responders killed in the line of duty. If that’s galling to you, welcome to Ohio politics.

From Jessie Balmert of cincinnati.com:

COLUMBUS - At least three Ohio lawmakers will forgo the pay raises that legislators approved for themselves over former Gov. John Kasich's objections.

Clermont County Rep. John Becker will donate his pay raise each month to various charities, starting with the Cincinnati Nature Center in Union Township. That amounts to a monthly $154.69 check after taxes.

Becker, who was one of 27 lawmakers to vote against the pay raise, opposed both the pay hike and the way it was done: adding the raises to a bill focused on improving survivor benefits for relatives of first responders killed in the line of duty.

"(L)egislators shamelessly hid behind the widows and orphans of deceased police and firefighters who died in the line of duty," Becker wrote in a statement. 

Becker is not wrong. Democrats Rep. Glenn Holmes and Michael J. O’Brien plan to donate their raises, too.

In a shocking turn of events, the man you see above immediately retired after allegations of rampant racism, homophobia and sexism.

From Bryant Somerville of 10tv.com:

PICKERINGTON, Ohio -- Pickerington Police Chief Michael Taylor has decided to retire, effective Feb. 19, City Manager Frank Wiseman announced Tuesday.

Wiseman says Taylor will be out on personal time until then.

The city opened an investigation in early January after anonymous emails sent to officials at City Hall claimed that Taylor used racial slurs and made homophobic and sexist comments.

In a video statement, Wiseman said the city will not continue the investigation into the allegations.

Pickerington is taking the coward’s way out. Much easier to sweep a dirtbag under the rug than investigate the ramifications of allowing a moron unilateral power to arrest people.

Whenever I see news like this, I’m reminded of the racist elf who served as attorney general until Trump threw him in the trash.

"I want to thank every sheriff in America. Since our founding, the independently elected sheriff has been the people's protector, who keeps law enforcement close to and accountable to people through the elected process," [Jeff] Sessions said in remarks at the National Sheriffs Association winter meeting, adding, "The office of sheriff is a critical part of the Anglo-American heritage of law enforcement."

Perfect example of that heritage in Pickerington.

Heinous crime in the Short North yesterday.

From Valencia Wicker of 10tv.com:

Columbus Parking enforcement teams were set to begin new parking rules in the Short North Tuesday. Instead, workers were met by vandalized parking signs. Some of them so graffitied, they were illegible.

"You cannot read the zone number. You cannot read the Park Columbus app or the 1800 number," said Robert Ferrin, Assistant Director of parking services for the Columbus Department of Public Service. "Others you can still make out the information."

Thirty-one signs were either covered in black or red spray paint. Ferrin says the department will work to replace them as soon as possible.

What I love most about the Short North parking “crisis” is it stems from visitors being too scared to park on or east of 4th Avenue and walk two blocks into the district.

THOSE WMDs. Sherrod Brown’s cop-out on single-payer… The last ride of Cowboy Bob… What it’s like to be a guy who doesn’t clean his ass… Hundreds of IRS employees are skipping work… What happens when a Japanese mascot goes rogue?