January 24, 2019

Wright State Strike Day 2, Ohio Man wanted to die via apple juice cocktail, Stat

It’s been bad news for the American worker since the President O.G. Dementia, Ronald Reagan, broke the air traffic controllers union.

Since 1981, workers hold the losses created by the dipshit managerial class that gets paid $200K a year to send memos, click on Russian phishing links, and hold 20 hours of team meetings that could be accomplished in 15 minutes.

The latest example is Wright State, where inept managers created a fiscal crisis then asked faculty to take a reduced package after bragging to the media about the danger being in the rear-view mirror. I don’t hold a fake job title like “economist” but that seems unfair to teachers.

The plan of managerial galaxy brains appears to be intimidating students into attending class to prove to teachers that students will attend class with or without them.

Wright State paid scab “sweepers” to go to classrooms and take attendance. They couldn’t get them all:

Democratic Rep. Brigid Kelly, who recently resigned from party leadership after backing Republican Rep. Ryan Smith’s failed bid for Speaker of the House, was the only state politician of note who could be bothered to pontificate on a staff strike at one of Ohio’s largest public universities.

Looks like the strikers have the leverage needed to win, despite the lack of political support. I’m going down to the picket line later today with pizzas. Maybe I’ll write about it tomorrow. Maybe I won’t. Such are the perks of not having a boss.

Heartwarming news out of our state’s capitol: A judge says it’s kosher for the state to execute a man in a way that will likely violate his constitutional rights because the prisoner can’t conjure a more efficient way to kill himself.

From Jeremy Pelzer of cleveland.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A federal magistrate has ruled that Ohio’s lethal-injection cocktail is likely an unconstitutionally cruel and unusual punishment akin to waterboarding, but he is allowing an execution next month to proceed because the condemned didn’t present a viable alternative way to die.

Magistrate Michael Merz ruled last week that Ohio can move ahead with the execution of Columbus murderer Warren Keith Henness on Feb. 13 using a combination of three drugs: midazolam (as a sedative), a paralytic drug, and potassium chloride to stop his heart.

In his decision Jan. 15, Merz singled out problems with using midazolam in executions, noting that he ruled in 2017 that the three-drug cocktail was unconstitutional (his decision was later overturnedon appeal).

The “Supreme” Court ruled in 2015 that inmates appealing their execution method must proffer an alternate “available, feasible” plan that can be “readily implemented.”

Hennes had proposed drinking apple juice laced with something called “secobarbital” or injecting a death cocktail of midazolam, digoxin, morphine sulfate, and propranolol.

The Man had other ideas.

Anyway, good luck to Magistrate Michael Merz today as he heads to his job where he tells prisoners without chemistry degrees to figure out cheaper and easier ways for the state to execute them. He sounds like a decent man who doesn’t have trouble sleeping at night!

People of a certain political stripe love to rant about moochers on welfare because it’s easier to look down their nose at poor people than think about the frivolous waste or fraud occurring up the ladder.

Remember the new highway welcome signs that looked like they were designed by a kindergarten class that finished second place in an area contest? Ohio taxpayers paid $100,000 for those beauties.

From Maggie Presser of dispatch.com:

The new signs will cost over $100,000; TourismOhio will pay more than half of the cost, and ODOT will cover the remainder, Bruning said. Name plates will be placed over the existing four signs for an additional $165, and will be installed in coming weeks.

…

“Are we luring people from around the country to Ohio by swiping their stuff and hiding it somewhere between Conneaut and Cincinnati so they can Find it Here? Is Ohio the end of a scavenger hunt?” one person tweeted.

In response, TourismOhio Director Matthew MacLaren noted the brand’s success in bringing $44 billion to the state in 2017 and prompting 219 million visits to Ohio.

“That’s a good sign that (the brand) is working,” MacLaren said.

Love when newspaper writers act like they’re above directly naming social media users. Give @BuckeyeBob420_blazeit his props, dammit!

Secondly, it’s always hilarious when marketing flaks take credit for things above their pay grade. Ohio may have witnessed 219 million visits in 2017—I may need to see an audit on what defines a “visit” before I believe those numbers—but maybe only three of them were drawn by the marketing tagline.

We should have gone with something like, “Ohio: You coming or what, motherfucker?”

I’ll take $50,000 from the state for this idea. Thank you.

Drinking on the job is a right enshrined by the U.S. Constitution. However, it might be a bad idea to booze on the clock if your job is running interference for President Tapioca Brain.

But I didn’t get famous for yelling into a bullhorn on the street during 9-11 because I foolishly placed the counterterrorism HQ within New York City’s No. 1 terrorist target, so Rudy Giuliani might know something about keeping a career criminal out of prison that I don’t.

From Jonathan Lemire and Eric Tucker of The Associated Press:

Some of Trump’s allies have suggested that Giuliani be barred from evening interviews because of concerns that he was going on TV after drinking, according to three Republicans close to the White House.

Giuliani has previously insisted he does not have an issue with drinking, denying to Politico last May that it affected his interviews. He added: “I may have a drink for dinner. I like to drink with cigars.”

The latest furor began Sunday as Giuliani, wearing a suit, tie and New York Yankees World Series ring, appeared on NBC’s “Meet the Press” and dramatically altered the timeline regarding discussions about a Trump Tower in Moscow, now asserting they stretched until November 2016. That statement, which suggested that the Trump Organization was engaged in business dealings with Russia up to and beyond the election, ignited a firestorm and then an abrupt walk-back from Giuliani.

He issued a statement the next day saying his comments about the project “were hypothetical and not based on conversations I had with the President. My comments did not represent the actual timing or circumstances of any such discussions.”

Then, hours later in an interview with The New Yorker, Giuliani raised eyebrows again when he seemed to suggest he had listened to tapes of Trump and Cohen that had not previously been discussed.

This asshole ran for president despite only brushing his upper teeth for the last four decades. He’s going to go from one of America’s most beloved public servants to a drunk charlatan who went to the grave lying for the worst president in American history in less than two decades.

At least his kids will invest his blood millions in the imaginary thing we call the stock market and never have to work. Who said the American dream is dead? Try to remember that when working hard for the shareholders today. Their shitty kids are literally counting on your labor.

THOSE WMDs. Joe Biden’s $200K-speech buoyed GOP in midwest battleground… General Strike: The fierce urgency of now… Conservative media transformed the Covington High School kids from pariahs to heroes… Podcast: Our most regressive tax flies under the radar… Witness offers more details on El Chapo’s motorcycle prison escape… Netflix now aligns with Hollywood, not the Internet… Does journalism have a future?