Here comes the hillbilly cosplayer
Here comes the hillbilly cosplayer
JD Vance gets vice presidential momentum, LifeWise Academy has another sketchy hire, and ol' Larry Obhof could lend the Secretary of State some credibility.
A couple of weeks ago, I didn’t think we’d be lucky enough to see Ohio’s most-famous hillbilly cosplayer leave a lifetime sinecure in the Senate.
It’s not like J.D. Vance will ever resign out of shame. He abandoned that a long time ago when he sold his mother’s addiction down the river for a Netflix movie.
But the stars appear to be foretelling that President Business Deals will select the Yale-educated fake Ohioan as his running mate.
Axios reported that Donald Trump Junior will speak before the Vice President’s slot at next week’s Republican National Convention in Milwaukee.
Politico added that East Palestine’s mayor will also speak, which is another indication Trump has selected Vance to join his ticket.
Here is the spin coming from Trump World, courtesy of failed Trump-endorsed Senate candidate Sean Parnell, and amplified by Arthur Schwartz, a right-wing propagandist in the tank for Bernie Moreno’s campaign:
Yes, if there’s one thing The Swamp fears, it’s an Ivy League-educated lawyer indebted to certified freak billionaire Peter Thiel. I’ll never understand the mentality.
If Vance is the pick, it’d be quite the downfall if he had even a modicum of pride.
The infamous leaked text messages show Vance knows Trump is, at the very least, a career con artist. But Vance saw his lane as a polished
Vance undoubtedly thinks this promotion ends well for him. Hell, it’s not like Mike Pence foresaw the chants to hang him, either. Vance’s play is simple to see: Trump serves four years (or maybe he croaks early), and MAGA’s second-best boy will become the steady hand that guides the movement into a new era without Trump’s worst personal flaws.
It’s been tried before by grifters that ignore one of Trump’s best qualities: Eventually trashing subordinates who debase themselves to curry favor. Vance will inevitably get that treatment. Trump will call him something like “Vice President Chump Change,” and it’s going to feel like what I’d imagine heroin is like because Vance will have to take it on the chin like the rest of the feckless losers he’s trying to imitate.
Vance thinks he’s built differently because he won one five-way Republican primary. Vance probably thinks that not even Trump’s sons can shine in Daddy’s shoes like him. But his time in the Trump blender will come like a sizable majority of the other power-hungry lizard people who tried to use Trump’s vanity for a shortcut to power.
Vance has been a loser since he was crying about poor people’s addiction to Mountain Dew in a book he no longer talks about because he’s a coastal elite masquerading as an Ohio hog when he only came back to schlep for votes.
Vance’s Senate campaign was in the watery grave next to poor grandpa Mike Gibbons before Trump intervened. Vance has no juice outside of a CNN or Fox News studio. He is manufactured hype by the right-wing echo chamber just like Ron DeSantis was.
Win or lose in November, Vance will get what he deserves: a legacy as a coddled nerd who betrayed his mother and political principles in the same lifetime.
But at least he will have done it in a way that ensured he spent as much time in Northern Virginia, where he truly feels at home.
If President Business Deals frees us of Vance specifically representing our great state, I’d expect Governor Grandpa Sleepy Tea to appoint Matt Dolan to finish the term. Dolan was last seen spending $14 million of his fortune to lose two Senate races by double digits.
One Republican Knower had an even more hilarious name DeWine would appoint: former Senator Rob Portman.
It appears LifeWise Academy will let any shady person instruct your child about our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ
Yesterday, at 9:12 a.m., I tweeted about how one perk of private education is that the hiring process is entirely unregulated. You can get caught sexting teenage students in the public center and be working as an education director less than six years later, as Renee Beck at LifeWise Academy had done.
LifeWise Academy fired her by the lunch hour.
From Cole Behrens of dispatch.com at 1:07 p.m:
A teacher fired in 2018 from a high school over alleged "sexual and explicit" messages with students was fired Thursday from a nonprofit program that teaches Ohio public school students about the Bible during the school day.
Renee Beck was fired Thursday morning from LifeWise, a Hilliard-based Christian nonprofit that teaches public school children the Bible during school hours, according to Joel Penton, the CEO of LifeWise. Beck was to become a director of a program set to launch in the Firelands Local School District in northeast Ohio, and her hiring was announced in April, according to a now-deleted Facebook post.
[…]
"We have since learned that while no charges had been filed and she didn’t have a criminal record, she failed to disclose important information to LifeWise staff about her employment history," Penton said in a statement. "We have terminated her employment."
Penton is a former Ohio State defensive lineman who has been open about his fundamentalist views since his playing days. Frankly, it’s a little too on-the-nose that Buckeye has returned to indoctrinate students from gullible families in a laughable violation of church and state. But I digress.