Game respects game
The state funeral of former Speaker Jo Ann Davidson brought an eclectic mix of political perverts to Capitol Square with only days remaining until the Election.
Former Ohio House Speaker Jo Ann Davidson was before my time caring about state politics.
However, knowing what I know now, she had to be cold and have a calculating mind to rise to the summit of the freak show that is the Ohio House of Representatives—especially as a Republican woman who dealt with the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals in the so-called “Caveman Caucus.”
She probably would have been alarmed and disgusted by my presence at the Statehouse. That’s fine.
Yesterday, I put on my finest black John Brown tank top and biked to Capitol Square to observe her memorial service.
It didn’t take long before a State Trooper approached me and said they’d had a report about a “disturbance” because I had asked one state legislator “too many questions,” which was a single question.
I get along with the State Troopers and the Sergeants-in-Arms precisely because I don’t view them as my personal security force, a mistake many State Legislators make when dealing with the rights I enjoy in the Statehouse.
But even though I’m an iconoclastic guy, I have a sense of decorum in these moments.
I wasn’t there to make any scene, at least until Davidson’s casket was en route to its final resting place, which was hopefully much less cursed than the Statehouse.
Here are some notes and observations from the day:
I would have been the strongest supporter of former governor Bob Taft if only he had better advertised the fact he’s an avid cyclist. But I learned that from a friend earlier this week. Yesterday, I asked Taft about his favorite trail in Ohio. He shouted out the Kokosing Gap Trail, which I’ll have to see for myself since it’s well within my cycling range. Taft said he thought Issue 1 would pass, though he called it “flawed” without offering an alternative.
State Senator Andy Brenner and State Auditor Keith Faber declined the chance to enter an official prediction for next week’s Issue 1 vote. However, Faber claimed I would be “disappointed” on Tuesday night. He then refused to bet $1 on the outcome, leading me to worry that our beautiful Auditor might have fallen on hard financial times.
After meeting a friend outside the Statehouse, I returned to the Rotunda just in time to hear former Attorney General Betty Montgomery relate how her longtime best friend Davidson, then the Speaker of the House, handled a state representative who said something “racially unkind” to former Democratic State Representative Otto Beatty. I thought that didn’t sound like the Ohio House of Representative I know! But give Montgomery this much: She has some juice and, at 76 years old, is much more humorous than any of our current statewide elected officials. It was easy to see why she enjoyed the political success she did.
Secretary of State Frank LaRose made a big scene of praying in front of Davidson’s casket. Said one influential Republican: “He’s probably saying his ABC’s in his head.” I replied that I doubted LaRose’s mind could comprehend the 26 letters of our alphabet simultaneously.
Former Speaker Cliff Rosenberger and once-influential heiress donor Virginia Ragan were in attendance. Longtime readers will know we’ve had some battles in the past, but Rosenberger and Ragan shook my hand in the Rotunda. Afterward, I wished Rosenberger well in his private life—he was just married, after all—but kindly asked him to tell his eternally cranky lawyer, David Axelrod, to stop running around Columbus saying mean things about me.
One House Republican, the subject of a couple of my viral videos but who has since turned friendly, worried that the passage of Issue 1 might throw them into one of Ohio’s neighboring metropolitan counties. I said I’d be sure to put a kind word in for them when I joined the redistricting committee. They laughed and said: “Buddy, they ain’t ever putting you on that committee.” Maybe so! But it won’t stop me from trying.
House Minority Leader Allison Russo (D-Upper Arlington) was the only Democratic legislator I saw in attendance.
The GOP consensus is that State Senator Stephanie Kunze, running in a hotly contested House race against Democrat Crystal Lett, is cooked despite the party spending six figures on her race.
The same goes for Republican House candidate Brian Garvine, who is running in the Ohio House 10th District against Democrat Mark “da Don Dada” Sigrist.
I was told earlier in the week that the Republicans expect to lose at least four seats in the Ohio House. Making the rounds yesterday, no Republican fought that number in private conversations. If the GOP doesn’t gain seats elsewhere, that would break the Republican supermajority in the House and would be a major part of Speaker Jason Stephens's calculus of retaining his gavel next year when State Senator Matt Huffman, who, in my opinion, is a domestic terrorist, joins the chamber.
After the funeral, I informed Governor Grandpa Sleepy Tea that I wanted to put my name into the hat for possible consideration for an appointment to the United States Senate should Donald Trump and J.D. Vance win next week. “Sure, you can do that,” he said before shuffling off, likely to indulge in a tasty microwaved glass of milk. I am now closer to the Senate than any other communist blogger in this country's history thanks to brave and noble readers such as yourself.
Last call for BAN GERRYMANDERING shirts!
We’re overthrowing the State Legislature next week by voting YES on ISSUE 1.
This is your last chance to order what will surely be an instant collectible when the results crystallize on Tuesday night.
Larry Householder sees his arch-nemesis dead… but at what cost?
Current House Speaker Jason Stephens (R-Kitts Hill) and former House Speakers Bob Cupp (R-Lima) and Cliff Rosenberger (R-Clarksville) were in attendance at yesterday’s funeral.
Noticeably absent was former Speaker Larry Householder, who is currently serving a 20-year sentence in FCI Elkton for his role in the largest bribery scheme in state history (that we know about).
And friends, I won’t lie to you. While standing in the Rotunda observing Davidson’s regal Speaker’s portrait, I couldn’t help but remember that Householder once bragged to an undercover FBI agent about his plans to shit on this old lady’s grave.
From the intrepid Laura Bischoff of dispatch.com in May 2023:
During the dinner, [disgraced and deceased lobbyist Neil] Clark complained that Davidson worked against him for many years.
Householder chimed in: "Yeah, but we got her on the run now. She's ninety-fucking-two years old. We got her on the run. I am going to take the biggest shit on her grave (unintelligible.)"
I honestly would have paid good money to hear Davidson’s unvarnished opinion of that quote when she read it in her old age, three years after Householder had been arrested on federal bribery and racketeering charges.
I’m sure Davidson and her longtime personal friend and confidant, Betty Montgomery, had a grand old hoot together while they sipped their morning coffees.
This is a reminder to any politician reading today’s communiqué: If you’re going to brag about your intention of shitting on your rival’s grave, you better be sure they’re dead and in the ground and you’re not under FBI surveillance.