President Business Deals didn’t like a question yesterday about recent arms sales to the blood-soaked Saudi Arabian regime, so he used the opportunity to declare he’s been taking chloroquine for the last week as a half.
Our president is not well. We can all agree on that. But before we continue can we take a moment to bask in whatever the fuck is going on with the Donald’s hair? I’ve never seen anything so majestic in my life.
Deals has been pushing the malaria drug as a potential cure for coronavirus despite ample medical research suggesting it’s much more likely to kill a person. His bleating has led to doctors and private citizens stockpiling the drug and leaving lupus patients to ration their medicine:
I’m perplexed why the president would be consuming alternative medicine if he doesn’t even have coronavirus but I’ve never been able to understand the mind of our 45th president. I’m in favor of him doing anything that would quicken the arrival of that glorious day when I read about his painful death.
Nancy Pelosi went on national television and said she thought it was a bad idea considering Trump was an elderly fat-ass:
Of course #Resistance Liberals went crazy over one frigidly unlikable millionaire fat-shaming another unlikable millionaire in the middle of a global pandemic that has left over 90,000 Americans dead.
This is the government we elected. This is the media our attention generated. This is the fate we deserve as Americans.
WHEN YOU’RE THE LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, THEY LET YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT
You see that man on the left in the picture, looking like a middle-class kid descending the stairs to claim his spoils on Christmas Day? That’s then-State Auditor and current-Attorney General Dave Yost looking over the moon to be in the same photograph as President Business Deals upon his arrival in Columbus back in August 2018.
It was a far fall from Yost’s position a mere six months earlier when he declared in no uncertain terms he would not support the candidacy of Donald Trump because he was a grifter who (among other things) didn’t hold a consistent position on the flat tax.
I've voted Republican all my life. But if Donald Trump wins the nomination of the Republican Party, I will break ranks with my party and will not support him.
Unlike some in my party who tell each other that they don't know anyone who is voting for Mr. Trump, I know many. They are my friends, and they have legitimate grievances -- from failed immigration policy to economic policies that benefit Wall Street while Main Street boards up its windows.
In spite of his powerful, legitimate criticisms, Mr. Trump's candidacy is about only one principle: power. He has changed his positions on abortion, Syrian refugees, the flat tax, Afghanistan and more in his pursuit of power.
He wants that for himself, though he says he will use it on our behalf. But in the decades he has possessed power by virtue of his wealth, he has wielded it for himself.
Every political candidate has flaws, because they are human. Mr. Trump is not merely flawed -- his thirst for power at any cost makes him unfit for public trust. What would he not do with public power?
It didn’t take long for Yost to learn which way the wind blew in the Republican Party. By the time Donald Trump took the oath to become President Business Deals, Yost was taking selfies while waiting in line for the portapot at the inauguration.
Yost’s words have proved prescient about Trump’s insatiable desire for more power. Normally a president appointing an unregistered foreign lobbyist as National Security Advisor would be enough to cripple an administration.
Deals simply shrugged when the FBI charged General Michael Flynn for giving false statements about his involvement with foreign governments. Deals didn’t even need to pardon him. He simply allowed Attorney General William Barr to pretend the government couldn’t possibly prosecute a guy who had confessed to committing crimes twice in open court.
Republicans love to pretend they’re about “law and order” when the subject is unruly minorities who are demanding civil rights in a way that ruffles the feathers of the landed gentry. Those convictions disappear when the subject is one of their own.
Dave Yost is no different. For a man who clearly saw the threat Trump posed the country, Yost completed his total capitulation yesterday by signing Ohio’s good name to Team Trump’s miscarriage of justice.
From Eric Heisig of cleveland.com:
CLEVELAND, Ohio — Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost argued in a court filing that a federal judge in Washington, D.C. has no choice but to dismiss the charge against Michael Flynn, former national security advisor to President Donald Trump who pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI, after the Justice Department asked him to do so.
The brief, written by Yost and Solicitor General Benjamin Flowers, says the Justice Department, part of the Executive Branch, cannot be forced to prosecute a case because of the separation of powers spelled out in the Constitution.
It also says that U.S. District Judge Emmet Sullivan should refrain from commenting on the decision not to prosecute Flynn, arguing essentially that it’s not a judge’s place to speak up if they see problems with the decision of the president’s administration.
“Too often, that commentary comes in grandiose terms more appropriate for an op-ed than a judicial opinion,” the brief states.
Yost is routinely laughed out of court and admonished for misrepresenting the argument of his opposition, so it’s rich to see him lecturing anyone on what is appropriate in a judicial opinion.
Yost no doubt as lived a charmed life. But he won’t be able to escape the judgment of history which will condemn him as an amoral buffoon who was more than willing to lick the boots of even more incompetent men if he thinks it will draw him a single inch closer to the throne of power.
It’s that or his side wins and they write the history books instilled in Ohio’s criminal charter schools of tomorrow.
NO TEST? NO PROBLEM
President Business Deals is only capable of seeing the pandemic as a public relations problem which is why he lamented last week about increased testing exposing more coronavirus cases. In his mind it would be better to have no tests at all.
The government’s ineffectual response in January and February led to scarce numbers of testing kits being available as states were left to bid amongst each other in a global jungle.
Marion County turned into the No. 1 coronavirus hotspot in America when widespread testing in the local prison exposed 80% of inmates infected with COVID.
Similar numbers were found at the prison in Pickaway County.
Not a great look for Mike DeWine considering the governor refused to release non-violent offenders. He has solved the humanitarian problem that he created by refusing to test other prisons.
From Catherine Cadinsky of dispatch.com:
Belmont Correctional Institution is emerging as the state’s latest prison hot spot for the coronavirus as COVID-19 cases soar and conditions at the minimum-to-medium security facility in eastern Ohio deteriorate.
But the public may never know it because the state has stopped the mass testing that showed prisons in Marion and Pickaway counties were the top COVID-19 hot spots in the nation.
Since Belmont’s first positive case of an inmate on April 13, 132 inmates and 66 staffers have tested positive, up from 30 inmates and one staff member just two weeks ago. And on Tuesday, Belmont reported its first COVID-19 fatality with the death of inmate Ronald Wanyerka, 62, of Cuyahoga County.
Sick inmates are housed with the healthy in Belmont. If five prisoners in a dorm test positive, the staff just assumes the entire dorm is positive.
This would have led to more predictable results if the government hadn’t decided to bury its head in the sand to prevent the scope of what its inaction has wrought on prisoners and staff alike.
It’s a diabolical calculation and one DeWine made because he knows most people don’t care about the plight of prisoners under normal circumstances.
BUSINESS TYRANTS NOT LIMITED TO COLUMBUS
Cleveland’s TownHall is a “locally sourced & innovative bar bites & vegan options served in a contemporary setting with patio.” The company recently announced plans to expand into Columbus.
I figured nobody could outdo Chris Corso of Standard Hall playing the victim card in a pandemic. That was until I ran into the coterie of shitbirds behind TownHall, who say it’s okay to tell a woman to “go back to her country” because she’s Ukrainian and not black.
“This racist statement does not reflect the values of our company. However, here is a detailed, numbered list as to why we think it was okay for this man to tell a former employee to go back to her country.”
I swear I could write these crisis management statements for companies for half the price of what they’re paying people.
I do appreciate TownHall for showing me what kind of people run their business. With so many food options in Columbus, it’s nice when the garbage people out themselves and save me the trouble of spending money at their establishments.
PLEASE LET JIM HARBAUGH COACH MICHIGAN FOREVER
Back in November 2015, I said I was thankful for Jim Harbaugh. Brady Hoke was an affable doofus and kicking his ass had grown as tiresome as smashing the opposition 78-0 on the JV setting in video games.
Harbaugh brought a renewed vigor to Michigan that made dumping their sorry asses much more satisfying than Hoke’s gang of stiffs.
It’s a take that holds up well. Though I did get one thing wrong: Saying that Jim Harbaugh would be the Jon Cooper of Michigan was an insult to Cooper, on whom you could depend to beat his rival once or twice every decade.
Harbaugh hasn’t done that one. Outside of 2016, The Games haven’t been close, either. He no longer seriously recruits Ohio, which would be acceptable if he weren’t also getting his ass kicked every year in national recruiting rankings, too.
You might think he wants to fix a thing or two in his program to restore it to the pedestal on which Ohio State sits. You would be wrong.
From Will Burchfeld of 971theticket.com:
Asked if it's been a tougher job than he thought, Harbaugh said, “We’ve been to the New Year’s bowl games and we’ve had success on the field. But you’re right, winning that championship, making the playoffs, that’s something our players and our coaches are pouring our hearts and souls into. We’re determined to get there.”
So, is there an aspect of the program Harbaugh has to fix in order for Michigan to reach its goals?
"An aspect to fix? No, it's been a joy," he said. "I love the guys that I coach with, our players have competed and we're really proud of them, the way they’ve played. I get to coach at a great university, my alma mater. It’s been tremendous. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it."
I’m old enough to remember when Michigan Fans seriously thought Mr. “I’ve Enjoyed Every Minute Of It” was the man to dethrone Urban “I Only Feel Alive When I’m Lifting a Championship Trophy” Meyer.
I’d feel sad for them if we weren’t engaged in a blood rivalry that will be waged until the end of time.
THOSE WMDs. America’s obsession with cheap meat… Michael Jordan’s advertising empire… I will not be attending your exhausting Zoom event… Cooking your way through the pandemic: An hour-by-hour account from Stanley Tucci—with recipes… Don’t overthink it, just show up and do the work.