Let's Huff Methane
The chaos in my brain is not my fault.
It’s true I love a good hyperbole but when I say the Ohio government does corruption in broad daylight… that’s a certified fact.
You might have read about President Deals’ easy-to-win trade war damaging the American Steel industry.
Well here’s a heartwarming of a steel CEO who decided to start a lobbying the famously ethical Ohio state government.
Oh yeah and I should probably mention his wife is the President Deals-anointed leader of the Republican party in the state that Deals needs to defend the White House.
Thank you to the Supreme Court for deciding money is free speech. I’m sure these subservients of the most corrupt president of the modern era have not figured out a way to line their pockets and let the ashes of our country fall where they do regardless.
NOTHING WORSE THAN WHEN THE EVENT HAPPENS
I understand why a sizable majority of college football fans detest Buckeye loyalists. We’re awful for the most part.
And I have no problem saying that. My most toxic personality trait is being an Ohio State football fan.
But I want to see how much methane the haters would huff to replace OSU on top of the pile. My guess is not as much.
From Kevin Crowley of bloomgberg.com:
An Exxon Mobil Corp. natural gas well in Ohio released more methane into the atmosphere during a blowout in 2018 than some countries do in a year, according to a team of American and Dutch scientists.
Using data from satellites, the researchers found that a well explosion in Belmont county on Feb. 15 of that year discharged the potent greenhouse gas at a rate of about 80 tons an hour and lasted for nearly 20 days. The end result was more methane in the air than the oil and gas industries of France, Norway and the Netherlands emit over a 12-month period, according to a study published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
“We deeply regret the event occurred and have instituted systematic well design and monitoring procedures to prevent it from happening again,” Exxon said in response to questions. “We are eager to learn more, and our scientists are currently reviewing the study and its assumptions.“
Methane is 84 times more conducive to global warming than carbon dioxide over a 20-year period. All the world’s biggest oil and gas companies, including Exxon, have pledged to reduce methane emissions, which they see as an Achilles Heel for the industry.
It’s hard to believe that the media outlet owned by a billionaire has delivered a masterclass in corporate apologia.
“We deeply regret the event occurred” is the type of phrase that corporations pay public relation gurus to concoct as if it’s an esoteric science.
Imagine if you caught your teenager smoking a blunt in the kitchen of the house in which you pay the mortgage and that motherfucker hit you with… “I regret the event occurred.” They’d be headed to Dawg Check City.
But somehow a corporation releases a disastrous amount of poison gas into the atmosphere and their bankrupt excuse gets repeated without analysis.
And then on top of that the writer adds that “the world’s biggest oil and gas companies” – including the one that polluted the environment(!) — all agree that methane emissions are an “Achilles Heal” for “the industry.”
This is the kind of copy that passes in a report about a natural disaster in one of America’s most populated states. On the plus side maybe the methane gas in the air will allow me to pass away at 35 of natural causes like an 18th century king.
HELL YEAH LET’S TALK SIGNATURE MATCHING
The Ohio Republican Party (going back to when Secretary of State Ken Blackwell fixed the election for George Bush over John Kerry) has always raised the bullshit specter of widespread election fraud as cover for their under-the-radar effort to suppress traditionally Democratic voters.
From Julie Carr Smith of apnews.org:
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Thousands of Ohio voters were held up or stymied in their efforts to get absentee ballots for last year’s general election because of missing or mismatched signatures on their ballot applications, an Associated Press review has found.
The signature requirement on such applications is a largely overlooked and spottily tracked step in Ohio’s voting process, which has shifted increasingly to mail-in ballots since early, no-fault absentee voting was instituted in 2005.
To supporters, the requirement is a useful form of protection against voter fraud and provides an extra layer of security necessary for absentee balloting.
To detractors, it’s a recipe for disenfranchisement — a cumbersome addition to an already stringent voter identification system.
Susan Barnard, of Dayton in Montgomery County, said her 78-year-old husband, Leslie, who has cancer, missed a chance to vote last year because of a delay related to the signature requirement.
“We had planned a cruise last fall to give him something to look forward to,” said Barnard, 73. “It fell at the time of the election, and we were going to vote the absentee ballot. We got right down to the wire and we didn’t have one for him, and so he did not vote because of that.”
You know this is some straight Boomer bullshit because my god who has a consistent signature anymore? Like seriously I realized like a decade ago that I will never have a good signature so I decided to scribble on any signature request I receive. There’s an “X” on my federal government star ID.
If you’re reading this newsletter at this point you can already deduce which type of signatures that the state election officials choose to scrutinize. (Spoiler: It’s traditional Democratic voters.)
A SENSELESS SHOOTING YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT
It’s been 135 days since a psychopath used a murder machine to butcher nine people in 32 seconds in the Oregon District of Dayton.
Has our legislature done anything since then? Absolutely not. But even framing the discussion around mass shootings ignores the senseless gun violence that occurs every day in Ohio.
From Craig McDonald and Kent Mallett of The Newark Advocate:
PATASKALA — A 2-year-old girl who died from a gunshot wound Saturday was shot by her 6-year-old brother.
First responders were called about 11 a.m. Saturday to the scene of a shooting in the 300 block of Haystack Avenue in western Pataskala.
On a 911 recording obtained Monday, the caller, who identifies herself as Mary Massuros, can be heard saying, “There’s been an accident with a weapon. ... My daughter’s been shot with a gun.”
With the sounds of screaming in the background, Mary Massuros then says to someone in the home, “Oh my God, Oh my God! Stop! Why did you have a gun in the house? ... I told you this would happen.”
The police dispatcher, who began trying to talk Massuros through CPR, was told that the victim, whose name has not yet been released by authorities, “just turned 2 yesterday.”
In the course of administering CPR, Massuros then tells the dispatcher, “This happened a while ago. ... I thought it was something else.”
Again you’ll notice the passive voice doing the work of the Devil: “My daughter’s been shot with a gun.” And this woman just witnessed her daughter “shot with a gun!” This is how inured our country has become to gun violence.
CLEVELAND DEMS CAN’T EVEN PROTECT LOCAL TREES
Remember yesterday how I mentioned the Republican Statehouse staffer that told me Dems fucked up by abandoning the people we represent? Well here’s another example of that. The Democratic machine in Cleveland can’t even protect trees!
From Glenn Forbes of wosu.org:
The Cuyahoga County Urban Tree Canopy Assessment Update shows 34.7% of the county was covered by trees in 2017, compared to 37% in 2011. The U.S average is 39%.
Cuyahoga County’s report determines how much of county land is covered by leaves, branches and stems of trees.
The 6% decline equals a loss of about 6,600 acres of tree canopy, said Sandra Albro, co-chair of the Cleveland Tree Coalition. And with that drop comes a loss of trees’ ecological benefits.
“Trees help alleviate heating and cooling costs. They help filter air and stormwater,” Albro said. “They add value to our homes and businesses.”
I’d talk some more shit but I know I’m going to venture to Cleveland on Saturday night and drink one beer and ask myself, “Why don’t I live in the Sleeve?”
The answer will be some bullshit like the aforementioned story but I’m at a point in my life where I realized of the Big 3-C cities Columbus is not not Ohio-certified.
Sorry but it’s true. And if the corrupt Democratic machine in Cuyahoga County is low-key ushering in climate catastrophe then that only makes the Mistake on the Lake that much more appealing.
SOME TEENS ARE CRUISING FOR A BRUISING IN AKRON
The old cliché is crime doesn’t pay. If that were true there would be like 90% less crime. But sometimes you can look at a local crime spree and realize rowdy teens who don’t know any better are flying too close to the sun.
From Sean McDonnell of beacon-journal.com:
Akron police responded to nine more rock-throwing incidents in the North Hill neighborhood over the weekend.
Victims each reported that at least one suspect threw a rock into their windows, with at least two reporting that their tires also were slashed.
Police said the incidents were on Elma Avenue, Julien Avenue (two), Salome Avenue, Belden Avenue, Dan Street, Burns Street, Jesse Avenue and Betana Avenue.
The number of incidents over the last few weeks is now approximately 30, police said.
These teens responsible for this property damage have two options: Stop now or get made an example of.
Those are the only to endings to the story. If they had a place of their own they would already understand this simple truth.
THOSE WMDs. The sort-of socialist church taking a radical approach to Christianity… There are economic warning signs in the Midwest for Trump… You don’t know Bernie… When the body attacks the mind… Why do young progressives hate Pete Buttigieg?