March Mailbag: The Art of the Denial
It's that time of the month! Let's boogie.
I still tweet like I have a couple of hundred followers. Someone impressive will follow the account, and I’ll think, “I should tighten things up!” But no. The Tao of the Poster pulsates through my DNA.
Yesterday, a high-ranking member of the Patriots Caucus came to me with a startling report. Ohio Supreme Court Justice Jennifer Brunner, the last Democrat on the high court, would not be running for re-election and would instead resign this summer to seek a yet-to-be-determined statewide office.
Another political source chimed in that the current talk was that Brunner would run for Attorney General, though some Ohio Democrats still hoped to talk her into running for Senate.
After drinking exactly two non-alcoholic beers with a friend at Tip Top Bar, I biked back to my husband’s sex dungeon on the Hilltop. And much to my surprise, Justice Brunner had jumped off the top rope at my report:
Just once, I wish one of these politicians would tweet something like: “Damn! You got me, DJ! Great post.” Is that so much to ask? Alas, I’ll have to keep waiting.
Brunner will not seek re-election to the court. You can write that part in stone.
As for the rest, well, it’s not like I can use her denial as proof of my claims. But I’ll leave it at this: If Brunner is still on the court by the end of the summer, I’ll donate $100 to a charity.
Until then, I’m standing behind the Patriots Caucus sources. Because this wire report dovetails nicely into a common question I received for this month’s mailbag.
As always, questions are in bold, and my responses are in standard text. Some questions have been lightly edited for grammar, syntax, and clarity.
Does Sherwood Brown's move to Bexley indicate he's running for governor?
The official line about Brown’s move to Bexley is that he’ll be closer to his grandchildren in Harrison West.
As recently as a month ago, I thought there was no chance Brown would run for governor. The State Legislature would neuter the office’s powers before he took office, and he’d still have to deal with Republican supermajorities in both legislative chambers and a Republican-juiced Supreme Court.
All that is still true. But after discussions in D.C. and Columbus, I believe he’ll likely run for governor rather than Senate.
If he ran for Senate, he’d have to run in 2026 and again in 2028. That’s a hard road to plow for a 72-year-old grandpa. And I’m told that Brown has become enamored of the contrast between him and the notorious conman Vivek Ramaswamy, the likely GOP nominee unless Jim Tressel enters the fray.
The figurative elephant in the room is Dr. Amy Acton, who is currently running for governor with the help of many operatives from Sherrod’s orbit. And while I’m not high on an Acton-led ticket… a Brown and Acton ticket is about as good as the Ohio Democratic Party is ever likely to pull.
I have many criticisms about Brown’s campaign against Bernie Moreno, the Bitcoin Aficionado. But given Ohio's polarization and how the Democratic ticket would live and die with the gubernatorial nominee, Brown would attract a caliber of down-ballot candidates that no other Ohio Democrat could—like, for example, Justice Brunner.
Who (other than yourself) and what do you credit for your sobriety?
My friends and family who stayed with me through the depths of my alcoholism and substance abuse disorders when I was trying to kill myself one double Tito’s and soda at a time. I want to be the man they saw in that storm, even if I still fall short.
The brave and noble soldiers in the Patriots Caucus who read and subscribe to my work. The fulfillment I get from The Rooster would not be possible without people like YOU.
The haters and losers, of which there are many. I will never give them the pleasure of seeing me fall off the wagon. They’re going to have to kill me or shut the fuck up.
If an outsider asked you about Ohio's cuisine, what three dishes would you present to them?
Skyline Chili
Cleveland pierogis
Former Ohio Democratic Party chairman David Pepper’s infamous celebratory philly sandwich from Subway:
How do you make money to do this?
Check the verified badge on my Substack profile. I have thousands of paid subscribers. I also recently started earning money through the TikTok creator program, which is a sentence I never thought I’d ever type in my life.
The lesson is that you don’t need millions of followers to make money in this game. You only need to find your niche. And I have found mine.
Do you think pretty boy Mayor Aftab will lose to JD Vance's half-brother in Cincinnati?
Zero chance. Aftab will crush JD Vance’s off-putting half-brother, who has never even bothered to vote in a city election. I am glad Aftab shaved his Ned Flanders’ mustache, though.
Who wins a 2026 Republican Primary for Governor: Jim Tressel or Urban Meyer?
Oh my god. I've been reeling for five minutes trying to decide. But I give the edge to Tressel because Meyer is an automaton who only feels joy when winning football games. He’s a true pervert in that regard.
Tressel, by contrast, is a natural people person and more charismatic.
What Ohio lawmaker has the best taste in music, if you had to guess?
That’s easy: State Rep. Jamie “Gigachad” Callender (R-New Concord Twp.)
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