Man Celebrates New Year by Shooting Girlfriend

What goes up must come down.

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January 2nd — also known as the day the New Year’s Resolutions actually start. I spent yesterday eating like an asshole and betting against Michigan. Today I have a date with a scale despite winning enough money this week to think about voting Republican in 2020.

BRAIN GENIUS RINGS IN THE NEW YEAR BY ACCIDENTALLY KILLING GIRLFRIEND AND GOING TO JAIL

My landlord, who is also a friend I’ve known since middle school, told me around noon on New Year’s Eve that I could gauge how gentrified Franklinton had become by the amount of guns getting shot around midnight.

Didn’t hear anything until 7:39 p.m. when some Franklinton freak walked onto their porch and let off a semi-automatic pistol into the air. The Bottoms sounded like Baghdad from about 11:30 p.m. to 1 a.m.

The whole time I’m sitting in my house thinking how all these bullets will eventually come back to earth and I hope it doesn’t go through my roof and into my skull without killing me.

Anyway at least none of the idiots who shot guns in Franklinton killed their girlfriend, which is more than I can say for some dipshit in Cleveland who ruined his life over the weekend.

From wkcy.com:

CLEVELAND — Cleveland's first homicide of 2020 happened just 15 minutes into the new year.

Police say officers responded to a shooting in the 5900 block of Merrill Avenue around 12:15 a.m. Wednesday.

When officers arrived, they found a 31-year-old woman with a gunshot wound. She was taken to MetroHealth Medical Center, where she later died.

Police arrested the woman's 38-year-old boyfriend after investigation revealed he shot her during celebratory New Year's Eve gunfire. 

I understand the urge to own a gun for home protection. Insurance rates say that’s wrong but I understand the primal instinct.

What I don’t understand is why gun owners feel the desire to shoot bullets into the air during holidays. There’s no other endgame than a childlike adrenaline rush which would be fine if these idiots didn’t swear they belong to the well-regulated militia that stands between us and tyranny.

THE POINT OF MEDICAID IS TO ENRICH THE MIDDLE MEN

There are many dystopian features about life in Ohio. One of the biggest is that our state government took Medicaid and allowed bureaucratic leeches to siphon off profits at the expense of local pharmacies.

Is the state doing anything about this? Not really.

From Marty Schladen of dispatch.com:

Ohio pharmacists are saying that a new deal offered through the state’s largest Medicaid managed-care provider appears to be marginally better than the one that preceded it. But they say too many variables and a continuing lack of transparency leave them dubious about their prospects for the new year.

“There are still too many unknowns,” said Nnodum Iheme, whose Ziks Family Pharmacy near downtown Dayton serves a clientele in which 65% of patients are on Medicaid. He said under the new plan, the pharmacy middleman who reimburses him still will use a non-transparent process to decide how much he’s paid for the bulk of the drugs he dispenses to Medicaid patients.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Independent and small-chain pharmacists had been complaining that Medicaid reimbursements were so low that many were being driven out of business, creating fears that sick or needy Ohioans would lose access to a nearby pharmacy. A Dispatch investigation and the Ohio Department of Medicaid’s own study last year showed that pharmacy middlemen were charging taxpayers hundreds of millions more for prescription drugs than they were paying pharmacies.

Poor and rural Ohioans getting shafted… who possibly could have seen this coming?

Republican politicians won’t do anything to fix this problem because they don’t want Medicaid working efficiently. They fundamentally believe people who can’t afford insurance don’t deserve to have it. It sounds shitty until you realize it’s true. Then it sounds even more shitty.

CEOs in OHIO MAKE 200x MORE THAN WORKERS

I understand that executives get “paid to think” as opposed to “get paid to work.” I don’t agree—I understand.

Even if you’re a worker at a corporation who has been duped into thinking that you too will one day be the CEO if you keep working hard… well, even you should realize that CEOs are not 200x more valuable than their average worker.

From Jordyn Grzelewksi of clevelend.com:

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Most of Ohio’s largest employers paid their chief executive officers more than 200 times what they paid their typical employees in 2018, according to a new report by Policy Matters Ohio, a nonprofit, progressive think tank.

Policy Matters analyzed pay-ratio data that publicly traded U.S. companies are required by federal law to submit to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. The organization reviewed filings for Ohio’s top 100 employers, 53 of which filed reports with the SEC (read the full report at the bottom of the page). The other top employers were exempt from filing. The data looks at 2018 data made available in 2019 (some of the data is from calendar year 2018, and some is from fiscal year 2018).

The companies were required to report their CEO’s pay compared with that of their median employee — the worker whose pay falls in the middle of all employees.

The report cautions that it is difficult to compare companies, which may have different reporting requirements and which span different industries. But the findings nonetheless illustrate the widening pay disparity between top executives and their employees, the report says.

The weird nerds who defend rich people on Twitter would undoubtedly laugh at my assertion and say something like, “You’re right. Jeff Bezos isn’t worth 200x his average worker. He’s worth more.”

That makes sense until you realize Jeff Bezos wouldn’t have his worth if he hadn’t exploited his workers to that point. And that’s what’s happening in Ohio.

PLEASE DON’T THREATEN TO SHOOT THE TEAM OF UNPAID PLAYERS BECAUSE YOU BET TOO MUCH ON THE OTHER TEAM OF UNPAID PLAYERS

I love drinking two margaritas and making hyperviolent threats against the enemies of my football team.

In my defense I try to do it in a jovial manner.. I’m not actually serious when I say I want to roll Dabo Swinney’s naked corpse into a shallow unmarked grave in the Arizona desert.

However it seems one man gambled too much money on Michigan against Ohio State and he deservedly got what was coming to him. He then doubled down and is now wanted by federal authorities.

From the Associated Press via nbc4i.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Authorities are looking for a man accused of saying he was going to shoot up Ohio State University and hurt players on the football team in a threat made during the university’s 2018 game with the University of Michigan, according to a federal indictment.

The September indictment unsealed last month in federal court in Columbus accuses Daniel Rippy of making the “electronic communication” threat from California during the game, which was played in Columbus that year. Ohio State won the contest 62-39.

Rippy said the school would be shot up “and I’m seriously going to hurt the students and all of the players from the football team,” according to the Sept. 26 indictment.

Rippy was arrested Dec. 28 in Livermore, California, The Mercury News reported. Rippy was released on bond Monday, but then failed to report to the court’s Pretrial Services division as required, according to a court document filed the same day seeking an arrest warrant. Rippy also didn’t report to a halfway house as required, the document said.

This guy threatened an amateur football online so I’m sure he has an entire plan as to live the rest of his life on the lam with the government knowing his entire identity. Doubt we’ll ever hear from him again!

THOSE WMDs. Please stop telling miners to learn to code… Man who escaped jail and was killed on the run identified more than 100 years later… Scotland’s 35-year kilt band backfired in spectacular fashion… Couples read this: Your bedroom is too hot… The photographer who captured America’s dark side.