From School Board to House Seat: The other ‘Columbus Promise’
Plus, the Haslam Crime Family has their eyes set on another $40 million prize in one of Columbus' poorest neighborhoods.
The Wednesday dispatch will be the March Mailbag.
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The Rooster is a politics-oriented operation, so feel free to fire away with any pertinent questions ahead of what’s expected to be a “mini-lame duck” on Capitol Square this week before both legislative chambers adjourn until May.
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As you might have read in Columbus Monthly, we’re starting to get some clout in this god-forsaken city.
And that’s allowing me to find and recruit new voices in the never-ending quest to serve shit cocktails to Ohio’s rich and powerful political players.
Today marks the debut of Gretta Gallows, a Columbus-based writer tasked with exploring the unholy nexus of Ohio’s renowned political corruption and public education.
Ms. Gallows, like every contributor at The Rooster, has already been compensated a fair-market rate thanks to the generosity of the Patriots Caucus, the brave and noble bipartisan cabal that sustains the entire operation.
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I’ll be back after the jump!
What the right kind of failure means in Columbus, by Gretta Gallows
Michael Cole, the immediate past president of the Columbus City Schools Board of Education, has announced his Democratic candidacy for House District 2 in Ohio.
Cole’s seeming promotion demonstrates yet another prong of the Columbus Way: If you do enough damage while on the city’s school board, you just may be rewarded with furthering your political career to subjugate the people of Ohio at scale.

Cole, known for pontificating to death and having a bowtie almost as crooked as his soul, spent his 12 years on the city school board closing public schools, signing off on tax abatements to defund the district, and furthering the privatization of what should be our greatest public service.
In his 50-second campaign launch video and website that smacks of ChatGPT, Cole is quick to claim he will address several problems for Ohioans, but omits that he’s actually been causing these exact problems for years in Columbus.
Cole campaign claim: “I’ll help cap property taxes to help older Ohioans stay in their homes.”
Cole had a hand in mismanaging the district’s budget so fervently that educators had to knock doors in 2023 begging for residents to pass a levy to keep their jobs.
The school levy, which brings in nearly $100 million annually, drove up property taxes for residents in the city and ignored the cries of unaffordability, including those of the most vulnerable: elderly homeowners on fixed incomes and low-income residents.
Cole campaign claim: “I’ll work to expand affordable healthcare.”
Educators in the state’s largest public school district know a thing or two about rising healthcare costs because, while Cole was serving on their board, healthcare costs continued to skyrocket, with no additional help to address the problem or improve the quality of life for school staff.
On the heels of Cole’s claims to address higher healthcare costs, he adds he will “work to increase wages” because they “just don’t keep up”.
Meanwhile, due to his mismanagement of the school district’s money coupled with his loathing for any chance of a public education system that actually benefits children, Cole was one of the 7 members who forced the teachers union to strike in 2022 which resulted in a measly four percent raise—a slap in the face to workers begging to be paid and a raise that was eaten by the rising cost of living, including health insurance rates (...and property taxes).
The icing on the cake is when Cole claims he will “put money back in schools” and “in fact, I’ll help fix public transportation”.
Cole served as President for the last year of his time on the CCS Board of Education and infamously tried to take bussing away from the city’s high school students – a move that the educators, students, and families were screaming was horrific in the face of chronic absenteeism rates – with literally no viable solution coming from anyone, including the leader of the Board of Education himself.
There seems to be a glimmer of hope that Mr. Cole will be forced to retire from the public eye and political stage, as two other Democrats are running in the primary: Elizabeth Richards and Charity Martin-King, two women likely capable of critical thinking.
At the very least, they don’t seem to have a demonstrated warpath on the children and families of Columbus.
What’s another $40 million to Crooked Jimmy Haslam, anyway?
As longtime readers of The Rooster know, I’m a reformed Franklinton Freak, having spent years in the trenches before retiring to Hilltop Husband’s luxuriously appointed manse in the suburbs.





