Ohio Pinches Medical Weed CEO Over Dime Bag Donations

You can bribe state officials and flout labor laws, but you CANNOT give away free samples of weed from your state-sanctioned industrial marijuana grow-op.

Ohio is currently in the midst of a $50 advertising blitz aimed at coastal elite business hobgoblins to move to the Buckeye State where they won’t have to pay taxes and can treat their employees like six-year-old 17-century chimney sweeps.

I have yet to see proof this campaign has convinced a single soul to move here, but make no mistake—Ohio is an idyllic place for the Chief Executive Officers of the world to launder money. And when you’re that rich, you don’t have to suffer the actual psychic damage of living in Ohio.

You think a guy like Scott’s Lawncare CEO “Cocaine” James Hagadorn lives here? Fuck no. He flies a helicopter from, like, upstate New York and lands on the roof because he likely has company research that quantifies the ancient curses that lurk directly under our blood-soaked soil.

Look at First Energy, the conglomerate that bought every lever of power in state government and literally had a Vice President of Executing Bribes. They’re still chugging away in those offices like nothing happened.

But apparently there is one crime that not even a CEO can escape the watchful eye of our state police: Giving away frosty nuggets to visitors at your government-sanctioned weed farm.

From Haley BeMiller of cincinnati.com:

The top executive of a medical marijuana cultivator and processor in southwest Ohio had his employee license suspended last week after regulators accused him of giving out samples.

The Department of Commerce says Ancient Roots CEO David Haley gave away products to visitors at his Wilmington facility that were intended for distribution to dispensaries, according to records obtained by the USA TODAY Network Ohio Bureau. Ancient Roots opened in 2018 under Ohio's medical cannabis program.

We probably pissed away a few thousand dollars in overtime to the top dicks that needed two months to piece together the caper of the century. Not to be the guy shouting what about the murderers as I get cited for jaywalking, but it’s hard to believe we’re actually investigating this nonsense.

And who was the narc that dropped a dime on Haley in the first place? Get that guy’s jacket fitted for the Square Hall of Fame since he’ll undoubtedly be a first-balloter.

Maybe one day we’ll emerge from the fog of the Drug War mindset, which judging by the age of our current crop of leaders, will be somewhere around 2056.

They worship at the altar of Business while ignoring the boon the devil’s lettuce has brought to states that legalized it recreationally. And that dichotomy is a small window into what makes Ohio the enigma it is.

THOSE WMDs. How the FBI destroyed the careers of 41 women in TV and radio… LA Port truckers seek to unionize in latest gig work showdown… I got sober during the pandemic, and it saved my life… Police in tiny Alabama town suck drivers into “legal black hole.”