I found a backpack on my porch yesterday. My thirst inclination was this was it — this was the time I was going to find a million dollars on the street and fund my retirement in Mexico.
Unfortunately my golden parachute did not arrive. It appeared to be the clothes of one of the sex workers that traffic the alley beside my house. I left it back outside and it disappeared an hour later. So what I’m saying is that once again you’re stuck with me in your inbox.
FORMER WRESTLERS HAVE A GOOD QUESTION ABOUT OHIO STATE’S TIES

Les Wexner will sell Victoria’s Secret this week after reports of rampant misogyny running through his company that sold thongs to children. He is also credibly accused of imprisoning one of Jeffrey Epstein’s victims at his manse in Central Ohio.
For some reason… the Wexner name is all over Columbus still???
From Corky Siemaszko of nbcnews.com:
Five of the former Ohio State University wrestlers who have accused their alma mater of failing to protect them from Dr. Richard Strauss have formally asked the state’s inspector general to investigate the school’s relationship with wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein.
In addition, the wrestlers requested that Ohio Inspector General Randall Meyer probe allegations that Abigail Wexner -- who along with her husband, Leslie, are two of OSU’s biggest benefactors -- “helped Jeffrey Epstein sexually assault a young woman named Maria Farmer."
Farmer has claimed that she was assaulted in 1996 by Epstein at an Ohio property “owned and secured” by the Wexners.
“We turn to you for help, primarily because of Abigail Wexner’s status as Vice Chair of the Board of Trustees at OSU,” the wrestlers wrote in a Feb. 7 letter obtained by NBC News. “Given these public allegations against Mrs. Wexner, it is extremely difficult for us to comprehend why OSU maintains its relationship with Abigail Wexner and her family.”
I doubt Ohio State wants to go down this road because colleges only care about their endowments, which are basically saying how much money they have stuffed away in a vault while overcharging students for knowledge publicly available on Wikipedia.
But this is how it works for people like Wexner. You can select some random pedophile high school teacher to manage your billions and nobody within powerful institutions will look the other way because of how much wealth you have.
SOME DUDES ARE TRYING TO HUSTLE US INTO THINKING THE GRASSMAN ROAMS SALT FORK STATE PARK
It’s weird how when everybody started carrying cameras in their pockets, suddenly sightings of UFOs and Sasquatches have fallen off a cliff.
However, if Bigfoot were real, he definitely would live in Ohio so I’ll examine any claim about a sighting.
From dailyjeffersonian.com:
It was just a leisurely walk in the woods — one they’ve done many times — but this time was different. This time, they spotted something that they say they’ll never forget.
It was Jan. 12 when two Ohio men found themselves staring at what they say resembled Bigfoot or Sasquatch in Salt Fork State Park.
“Should we even be here?” said Eric, one of the two men. Eric did not want his last name revealed.
The figure had the characteristics of Bigfoot — hairy, upright-walking, ape-like creature that dwells in the wilderness and leaves footprints. Depictions often portray them as a missing link between humans and human ancestors or other great apes.
Sirs…. that is clearly a man off in the distance wearing a ghillie suit. I don’t know much but I do know that.
Seriously… what the hell is it with these people who do hoaxes? Like, if you’re getting paid, I understand at least on a primal level. What I don’t understand is when all you’re getting out of the equation is some YouTube views.
OHIO REPUBLICANS STILL RUTHLESS

One reason that the Republicans have been kicking the Democrats’ ass for my entire life is that Republicans go directly for your throat while Democrats watch West Wing.
This schism got displayed yesterday when Ohio’s political leaders were asked if they would use hacked material in a campaign against their opponents.
From Rick Rouan of dispatch.com:
The leaders of Ohio’s two political parties had a chance on Monday to enter into a pre-emptive cease-fire on using hacked information in campaigns, but one stopped short of making that commitment.
Ohio GOP Chairman Jane Timken said after a panel on election and campaign security with Ohio Democratic Chairman David Pepper that she was “loathe to get into the oath swearing” with Pepper.
Earlier, Pepper said that his party would not use any information it receives if it appears to have been hacked. Both sides need to agree that hacked information was off limits for campaigns, he said.
“It’s got to be a mutual commitment that we can make as party leaders,” he said. “Don’t think, on our side, if you’re going to do something wrong we’re going to run around and take advantage of it.”
Perfect anecdote of the Ohio Republican party and how it maintains its power: Democrats asking for a simple, ethical compromise and the Republicans saying LOL, cool story nerd.
I don’t even have some wry observation at this point, either. Our party leaders want the world to be one way, yet it’s the other way. And expecting Republicans to play by the rules is resulting in hundreds of thousands of poor people dying every year for the crime of not being able to afford overpriced healthcare.
BUDGET PUTS OHIO FARMERS IN THE CROSSHAIRS

Ohio farmers played a big role in electing Donald Trump. The secret is though that these folks claim to hate socialism while taking handouts from their king who caused them financial hardship with an easy-to-win trade war.
Once again, Trump is showing them the disdain they have for people who have to work for a living.
From Karaline Cohen of abc6news.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio (WYSX/WTTE) — The president’s new budget is already raising concerns for the farming industry. The proposed budget comes on the heels of what has been a rough go for farmers. 2019 proved to be one of the worst seasons.
“It hurts your personal pride with what you do when you don’t have a crop at all,” said Ryan Rhoades, a soybean and corn farmer in Delaware County.
A wet spring forced farmers to halt production.
“Over a million and a half acres in Ohio did not go planted, that was in large part to the extremely wet spring,” said Jack Irvin, with the Ohio Farm Bureau.
According to the president's new budget, farmers could be facing yet another round of hardships with an 8% budget cut to the USDA. The new plan would lead to a decrease in farming programs like conservation.
Well, the farmers can rest easy tonight knowing that, for all her flaws, at least Donald Trump’s budget is dead on arrival in Nancy Pelosi’s House.
PERUSE MURDER VICTIMS WHILE PLAYING CARDS

Getting away with murder in America is surprisingly easy. Statistically, you have a 40% chance of getting away with it.
If you get caught, you might have to go to prison and play cards with pictures of dead people.
From wlvt.com:
CINCINNATI (WVLT/WXIX) -- An organization distributes playing cards that display unsolved murders to prisons and jails across Ohio in hopes that they'll help solve the crimes.
U Can Speak For Me was started by Hope Dudley following her son's murder, WXIX reported. Her goal, she said, was to help families with information and media support during the first days after the crime.
Each playing card that is distributed by her organization shows a murder victim and their information.
Knowledge is power and all that but seriously… who wants to play a card game while looking at crime victims? No disrespect but god damn… if I want to be depressed about the inequality of the world I would be doing something other than playing cards in jail.

THOSE WMDs. How big companies spy on your email… The golden age of white collar crime.. A small liberal arts college in Iowa could hand Trump a win against workers’ rights… The “manosphere” gets more toxic as angry young men join the incels... Crying in H Mart… Is “snake oil” really from snakes?