Paging the Ohio Democratic Party
Is anybody home?
I watched The Network (1976). My brother raved about it, and my film industry friend Benedict Kasulis concurred and called it “ahead of its time.”
Lately I’ve been watching a lot of older movies from before I was born. Most of them wouldn’t get made today. And I say that as a compliment.
Epidemiologists have warned that screaming produces mass amounts of COVID-laced air droplets and as such theme parks pose a high risk of exposure.
Well, the experts don’t hold much sway in Ohio. We value the right for large corporations to continue earning profits while forcing workers to serve people too ignorant to know better.
It took fewer than six days for COVID to arrive on our Rollercoast.
I think if CEOs are opening business they should be forced to work two shifts a week in the role of the lowest-ranking, most public-facing employee. Just how I feel.
DAVID PEPPER STRIKES AGAIN
The Paycheck Protection Program was ostensibly designed as a lifeline to small businesses. But it was bogged down with red tape which meant only large and powerful entities with fleets of accountants could easily navigate the labyrinth of paperwork that left an untold number of actual small business owners left in the woods.
Some corporations got shamed into giving their millions back into the public coffers. In their defense they were at least businesses.
The Ohio Democratic Party is not a business. And it’s a good thing it’s not because it’d be bankrupt by now with current administrative leadership.
The party is broke to the point it sold its downtown Columbus headquarters. It also claimed $334,000 in federal money through the PPP.
The Florida Democratic Party did the same thing and quickly gave the money back. Ohio’s has not, and that’s news to the top Democrat in America.
From Jessie Balmert of cincinnati.com:
Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez praised the Florida Democratic Party on Thursday for returning a federal loan aimed at helping small businesses survive the coronavirus outbreak.
He thought the Ohio Democratic Party was returning a nearly $334,000 federal loan from the same program.
But so far, the Ohio Democratic Party has said it is keeping the money.
"I think they're doing the right thing giving it back," Perez said of the Florida Democrats. "I thought the Ohio Democratic Party was doing the same thing. I'll follow up with that."
The worst part is Chairman David Pepper is going radio silent while getting dragged by Republicans and independent news journalists alike. If the Ohio Republican Party did something like this, they would simply say make up a bad-faith excuse that boiled down to “Fuck Me? No, fuck you.”
There’s a reason ODP took the money. It allowed them to retain 20 jobs. Pepper should at least defend his decision. Why should 20 hardworking Ohioans be out of work because the federal government’s incompetent response to coronavirus? There were no rules saying political parties couldn’t take the money, and it’s not like $334,000 to the U.S. Treasury isn’t the equivalent of one half of a dirty penny to the average Ohioan.
Instead they’re going to get shamed into giving it back and the party will be 20 workers down with four months remaining until one of the most important elections in American history. Hard to see why Republican reptiles have beaten Pepper to a pulp as a candidate and chairman.
STATEHOUSE STATUE OF PEDOPHILE ENSLAVER WHO DIDN’T DISCOVER AMERICA TO STAND UNTIL AT LEAST 2025
Anybody reading this knows my views on Chris Columbus and statues pretending he was some noble adventurer (false) who proved the world round (false) by discovering America (false).
Protestors punked Mayor Andy Ginther into taking down the statue in front of City Hall shortly after Columbus State Community College removed their own vandalized statue.
One remains in front of the Statehouse. And it’s going to stand there through 2025 according some random board of geezers I’ve never heard about until today.
From the Associated Press via wdtn.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Officials say a statue of Christopher Columbus will not be removed from in front of the Ohio Statehouse until at least 2025.
The 9-foot-tall, copper statue of Columbus will remain erected in front of the Statehouse in the largest city that bears the explorer’s name until a formal process for removal is undergone by the agency that manages the grounds.
The Capitol Square Review and Advisory Board voted to draft rules in place for the first time that would outline a policy of removing a statue or monument off of Capital Grounds. An individual or group may come forward with a proposal at the next board meeting in October.
Here is my proposal: We melt the statue down and sell it for profit. Failing that, my mercenary experiences in Call of Duty: Warzone have taught me one pack of C4 explosives should be enough to get the job done.
ONE POST CAN OUT A PREDATOR
A few years ago I remember laughing at Pizzagate conspiracy theorists for thinking a worldwide cabal of pedophiles operated out of the basement of a D.C.-area pizza establishment.
Then Jeffrey Epstein happened and his best friend and lover, Les Wexner, still has his name all around town and now I’m thinking the only insane part about Pizzagate was that powerful pedophiles need the secrecy of a basement to operate their trades.
You don’t need to be a billionaire to do it. Take the case of a former Solon band director who “resigned” two years ago because at it turned out he had sexually assaulted multiple girls who finally decided to out him on social media.
From Jane Kaufman of clevelandjewishnews.com:
A message posted on The Solon Soundboard accusing a former Solon City Schools band director of misconduct has caught the attention of local law enforcement, and brought to light details surrounding his resignation from the school system two years ago.
The band director has been identified as Edward L. Kline.
A post by Ariana Nicole Battiste, a 2015 Solon High School graduate, wrote on the public Facebook group that her band teacher sexually assaulted her when she was in eighth grade. The assault she described in her June 4 post occurred in 2010. She kept her pain private for a decade.
“I just wish I would have said something in 2010 so no one else would even have to carry around the same pain that I do,” Battiste wrote. “It’s time to stop being quiet …”
The whole story needs to be read to be believed. And nobody in power heard anything prior to a single post? Nobody had suspicions about this guy? He was just allowed to resign under a cloud of whispers that weren’t made public until a courageous woman finally decided to tell her tale? That’s much harder to believe.
WE AIN’T PLAYING COLLEGE FOOTBALL THIS FALL
Here’s a graph from *checks notes* the NCAA that lays out why we won’t be playing college football until Spring 2021 at the earliest, at which point most of the top players in the country will sit out and await the 2021 draft because why risk your ACL against Purdue in Week 3 when you can be making millions of dollars doing the same thing instead?
The only joy I will take in seeing the season cancelled is the outrage from the rightwing dipshits that have been “going through the numbers” and declaring the threat of COVID to be overhyped. That will do little to help my friends in the journalism industry who depend on the Buckeyes playing to get paid.
COPS NAIL THREE GUYS TOO DUMB TO BE HOLDING 80 KILOS OF COCAINE
Free advice to aspiring cocaine kingpins out there: If you’re going to traffick felony amounts of Schedule 1 narcotics, don’t do deals with people at the business you established to launder your dirty proceeds. It’s called “shitting where you eat” and it’s a bad idea as three Southwestern Ohio geniuses just found out.
From nbc4i.com:
A federal indictment charged Jerry Timothy Vaughn Jr., 40, of Dayton and David Scott, 41, of Dayton with narcotics conspiracy, distribution of a controlled substance and possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance. It was unsealed after Scott’s arrest on July 1.
A Cincinnati man, Shannon Jamar Higgins Sr., 47, pleaded guilty on July 14 to one count of possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance.
According to court documents, DEA agents and Cincinnati police officers investigating cocaine trafficking in Cincinnati determined that Higgins was traveling to Luxury Sports Auto Sales in Dayton to purchase cocaine from Vaughn and Scott, who is the co-owner of the used car dealership.
Investigators executed a federal search warrant at Luxury Sports in January and found approximately 79,970 grams of cocaine in a metal cylinder. They also searched Vaughn’s residences and found cash, more cocaine and a firearm.
I love how cops get stenography from every corporate local news outlet in America. Cops simply “determined” that Higgins was traveling to Luxury Sports Auto Sales to purchase cocaine.
DICKHEAD WHO ACTED LIKE OTHER PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT SEX WORKERS TURNS OUT TO BE A FRAUD
There are people reading right now asking themselves, “Who the hell is Dan Bilzerian?” If this is you, please skip to the next section and save your mental rolodex for precious family moments instead of internet dickbags.
If you are familiar, well, you’re going to be shocked to learn that the apex of American males adored by sexless internet dweebs everywhere is a total fraud who is only good at spending other people’s money.
From Chris Roberts of forbes.com:
The mansions, the yachts. The parties—the models. How does Dan Bilzerian, the globe-trotting, cash-stacking, gun-toting, Instagram-boasting partying playboy do it? Or, more to the point: How does he pay for it all?
According to a lawsuit filed this week, he doesn’t. Dan Bilzerian rents his house, and charges the rest of his six-figure lifestyle to a credit card that someone else pays off.
…
And according to Heffernan’s suit, complaining about Dan Bilzerian’s addiction to spending company money—and objecting to various sleight-of-hand tricks that would hide this spending—are what got him fired.
Through its company counsel, Ignite did not respond to a request for comment.
In a statement issued to TMZ, Bilzerian denied the allegations in Heffernan’s suit and vowed to counter-sue.
People with real money will never make a display of how much money they have. Are there exceptions? Maybe three. That’s it.
A WORTHY CAUSE TO HELP COLUMBUS SCHOOL CHILDREN
We deal with of depressing topics in these parts so I try to plug good things when they come across my desk.
My boy Young Argument informed me about his friend, Robb Armstead, a Columbus west side good guy, doing a supply-drive for children who are going to school one way or another this fall.
As the graphic mentions, supplies can be dropped off at JP Auto (1945 Jackson Road, Suite D, Columbus, Ohio, 4223).
Cash donations can be made through Cash App at $RobbArmstead and Venmo at @RobbArmstead5.
THOSE WMDs. To delay death, lift weights… How to report on internet culture and the teens who rule it… How a single mom created a plastic food-storing empire… Millions are hounded for debt they don’t have, and one man fought back with a vengeance… The fall of Quibi: How a did a $1.75 billion starry Netflix rival crash so fast?