The Rooster's Little Ben Yoho Buster is Live

As always, members of the Patriots Caucus eat first and for free.

According to multiple sources, The Strategy Group and a gutless stumblebum at Twitter HQ colluded to ban The Rooster from the platform for tweeting that then-Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem “will have to die in prison” back in January.

Raw power isn’t enough for these jackals. They also want their balls rubbed like genie lamps and told what special little people they are while they bleed our government dry.

Six years of tweets and 28,000 followers down the drain—almost as fast as Noem and her alleged paramour lost their jobs due to what appears to be a $220 million embezzlement from the United States Treasury that you can read all about in the right-wing, billionaire-funded propaganda outlet The Daily Wire(?!) of all places.

In the immediate aftermath, The Rooster vowed to show these powerful crybabies that our humble operation was bigger than Twitter.

It’s been mission accomplished, with over 30 million views on all platforms in the past two months.

But the loss of my psychic whip was a lesson about tying my audience to “free” platforms run by corrupt billionaires that can obliterate my megaphone with a flick of the greasy fingers.

Though the world’s richest man was the culprit this time, any tweak to the almighty algorithm—like what happened when Larry Ellison’s sorry ass bought TikTok in an attempt to fix Israel’s cratering public image—can have a similar effect.

I do not want, nor do I need, millions of followers.

I only need my content to flow to those who have volunteered to see it.

With all respect to BlueSky—which I’ve enjoyed and will continue to post my fleeting thoughts—The Rooster needed a way to instantly distribute news to our nationwide, bipartisan cabal colloquially known as “the Patriots Caucus.”

The solution is a new contract with my partners at Subtext, an SMS marketing platform that will serve as the official organ of big, breaking news (and other instantaneous tidbits) from The Rooster.

Prices on all future subscriptions will be raised on Monday, so if you know any freeloading hogs in the parking lot, tell them they have through the weekend to get their asses through the door before the SMS service is baked into the price.