Poorer (and sicker too)!
It's fun belonging to the most empowered generation in American history!
Tuesday! What a concept. It’s not as bad as Monday but definitely not good as Wednesday. And frankly Thursday shits on Tuesday. So here we are with Tuesday… I guess it could be worse?
I’m just trying to concentrate on the first week of March for my all-expenses-paid vacation to Costa Rica with one friend and 10 strangers from Van Wert.
Might stay down there. Jack Frost isn’t fooling me with these 50-degree days in early January. His sucker punch is lurking around the corner. And one of these winters he’s going to hit me and I’m going to stay down on the beach drinking alcohol from coconut shells adorned with tiny umbrellas.
This winter shit isn’t paying any bills.
MILLENNIALS: WE HAVE NO MONEY AND OUR HEALTH SUCKS TOO!
I remember as a kid thinking about how cool it was to belong to a generation that came of age with the “the information superhighway.” The internet was supposed to make us into the global citizens of tomorrow needed to usher in a new era of human enlightenment and prosperity.
Instead three decades in and we a repulsive lizard king who launders nazi propaganda through a social media network used by every nana and papa in America. Also as a generation we have no money and we’re also paying out the nose for the threadbare healthcare coverage we do have.
From Max Filby of dispatch.com:
Millennials are on track to be in poorer health than the previous generation, and Ohio medical experts warn that the trend could translate into higher health-care costs and shorter lives.
Millennials’ worse health is largely a result of an increase in behavioral issues such as depression and addiction, but also of hypertension and high cholesterol, among other factors, according to a report released by insurer Blue Cross Blue Shield.
The opioid epidemic also might be a factor, according to the November report.
The report raises a big red flag because “typically speaking, it’s the young people you expect to be healthier,” said Dr. Randell Wexler, a family medicine physician at Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center.
I love when Real Serious Science People spend thousands of dollars on a study that reveals a basic nugget of human life in 2020 that could have been learned by talking to anyone off the street.
WOMAN WHO FUCKS PRESIDENT’S FAIL SON TO SPEAK TO SPEAK AT COLUMBUS HATE RALLY
Donald Trump is coming to Columbus tomorrow which means tens of thousands of MAGA cultists who are scared of black people will descend upon one of the most diverse cities in America.
When President Deals won the presidency, the notoriously ethical speed freak shunted his business dealings into a “blind trust” operated by his two repulsive fail sons who were completely cut off from the political arm of the family machinery.
Anyway we’re entering Year 4 of Deals (still alive, baby!) and the woman who is fucking Trump’s least famous fail son is hitting the microphone before Trump figuratively lights the cross later in the evening.
From Randy Ludlow of dispatch.com:
Lara Trump will speak on behalf of her father-in-law’s re-election campaign at a “Keep America Great” event in Columbus on Wednesday.
Trump, who is married to President Donald Trump’s son, Eric, will appear at 6 p.m. Wednesday at the Hilton Columbus at Easton, 3900 Chagrin Dr., Trump’s campaign announced Thursday.
The president is scheduled to speak the following evening in Toledo in his first campaign appearance of the election year.
Lara Trump is a senior adviser to the Trump re-election campaign.
Her appearance “will highlight the accomplishments of the administration and the commitments of the president,” according to the campaign.
This is it! This band of low-rent travelers that looked like they walked off the nearest soap opera set has achieved an apotheosis of political power usually reserved for such blood-soaked Machiavellian war criminals like the Bushes and Clintons.
I’m not surprised, either. Just disappointed.
LEGALIZE MARIJUANA OVER MIKE DEWINE’S DEAD BODY
Adults can walk into a store in Michigan and purchase marijuana that is regulated and taxed by the state. If they take this plant over a magical line created in the 1800s, however, they’re in Mike DeWine’s world and Mike DeWine doesn’t have any time for that funny stuff.
From Jo Ingles of statenews.org:
Gov. Mike DeWine was adamantly opposed to the marijuana legalization plan that was on the ballot in 2015. And the fact that neighboring states, like Illinois and Michigan, are allowing it hasn’t changed his mind now.
“It would really be a mistake for Ohio, by legislation, to say that marijuana for adults is just ok," DeWine said.
Dewine said he’s concerned legalization would hurt the health of younger people. And he said marijuana grown today is more potent than it was 40 or 50 years ago. Groups that want to legalize marijuana in Ohio have tried several times but have not been able to get the support they need to get the issue back on the statewide ballot.
Hopefully the federal government will relieve DeWine and his ilk of their ill-founded moralism because that’s our only hope for sensible drug policy in this state.
SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE DEAD OHIO PIONEERS
I hate winter. I don’t make any bones about it. But I am thankful that since I have to deal with it at least I’m doing so in an era of GPS and indoor heating and live streaming.
Because if I had existed at any other time in Ohio’s history… literally any other time… you would have no doubt one day read an obituary of me and my sturdy son Samuel riding into the wilderness never to be seen again.
From Mark Price of ohio.com:
Western Reserve pioneers had to be incredibly tough to endure the rugged wilds of Ohio. Sometimes being tough wasn’t enough.
Randolph Township settler Daniel Cross, 71, and his son Samuel, 18, left their Portage County cabin in late December during the War of 1812 to deliver food to hungry troops stationed at Wooster.
They never were seen again.
Daniel Cross and his wife, Hannah, were the parents of nine children. The New England natives had moved to the Western Reserve in 1806 from Vermont and carved out a home in the dense woods of Ohio, where cabins were few and far between. Daniel was a carpenter and barn builder, and helped other settlers in the Western Reserve frontier.
Blessed with a bumper crop of oats in 1812, Cross decided to sell it to the military, which was paying up to $3 per bushel for grain to feed soldiers and horses. He had learned that a detachment of troops from Ohio and Pennsylvania was stationed at Camp Christmas in Wooster under the command of Brig. Gen. Reasin Beall.
Today we salute Daniel, his wife Hannah, and their nine children.
BUCKEYE BALD EAGLES BACK
Be on the lookout! The bald eagle is backing in business in the Buckeye State.
From Sarah Brookbank of cincinnati.com:
A pair of bald eagles outside of Columbus have returned to make a nest after their previous one was knocked down in a recent storm. The Ohio Division of Wildlife Office said they "have adequate time to construct a new nest and have a successful spring."
Bald eagles occasionally make it to the Cincinnati area. A trio was spotted in summer 2019 on the Whitewater River and are known to visit the Great Miami River.
"Bald eagles are thriving in Ohio. The Ohio Division of Wildlife estimates that we have about 350 nesting pairs in the state. Bald eagles typically begin nesting activities in January and February," the Ohio Division of Wildlife said.
It’s funny because yesterday my cats were looking outside the window and I said to them like they understand English, “Why are you guys looking at that Eagle like it wouldn’t peel both your wigs back?”
I laughed to myself because I’m the funniest man alive. However I’m not the smartest and I was thinking “assuredly that’s no Eagle resting in a meadow in Frankliton? Who knows! It might have been.
THOSE WMDs. Death of a freelancer… Hype House and the Los Angeles TikTok mansion gold rush… Internet deception is here to stay—what do we do now?… What in God’s name happened to Ricky Gervais?… It looks like health insurance, but it’s not. “Just Trust God” buyers are told.