Reminder: The Rooster will publish three days a week going forward
The Rooster will publish on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday going forward.
The Rooster started in December 2018 as a response to my failed Statehouse run. I accepted the race knowing that the only way I would win is if my opponent died during the campaign, every other respectable candidate that I knew went down similarly as the Democrats lost what will likely be the last competitive statewide cycle in Ohio history.
It started because selling sentences on the internet for the entertainment of strangers is my one marketable skill. And, until recently, what was basically a drunken daily grievance, was my only source of income.
That meant publishing five days a week from January 2019 to March 2023, barring bank holidays and personal vacations. It was a helluva run, and anyone looking for my opinion on anything can search my archives at any time.
However, the daily diatribe era is at an end. For the sake of my mental health, my other employers, and the product at large… I will only be publishing on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. With the usual caveat of Emergency Dispatches whenever the news strikes.
Free dispatches will happen at my discretion, but a large majority of dispatches will be subscriber-only to reward the faithful members of President Xi Jinping’s Patriots Caucus that turned The Rooster from a daily grievance newsletter ran by a lowlife drunk into what it has become.
Free subscribers will still be entitled to the weekly Rooster in Review post, featuring odds and ends missed throughout the week and a recap of the week’s content.
The relaxed editorial schedule will allow me to do more in-depth pieces, allow more time for editing and guest posts, and maybe even allow me to pursue my true passion, which is writing fiction, in my spare time.
If you’ve understandably been on the fence about joining the Patriots Caucus, please consider this 33% off coupon as an incentive to join. We have big things planned for our enemies, which unfortunately for them, all work within walking distance of my apartment in Franklinton.
I understand some readers will be disappointed in the news, as they’ve grown accustom to reading my typo-ridden screeds Monday through Friday. If you feel ripped off, please respond to this email, and we will devise an arrangement that satisfies you.
I do, however, feel this move is in the best long-term interests of the project. As always, thank you for your readership.
The fight continues.
THOSE WMDs. The first chatbot predicted the dangers of AI over 50 years ago… How upper lips got stiff… Eight thinks we do that really confuse dogs… How to solve a 25-story Rubik’s cube… Why are so many guys obsessed with Master & Commander?
No complaints with your schedule change- this is great stuff you're putting out!
[But if you happen to know the guy in Cleveland Heights who puts out The Funny Times- Ray Lesser- DO NOT mention my name to him! I just went apeshit over his interpretation of the phrase "Annual Subscription" as HOWEVER MANY FUCKING ISSUES I FEEL LIKE PUTTING OUT IN A YEAR (only slightly paraphasd)]