Republicans Horny for Sacrifices to Economy
As Mike DeWine cuts Pennsylvania off from the spirits.
Better Call Saul came through with a burner episode last night. What I love most about the series is they can have a 20-minute climax scene of a terse argument in an apartment with a fish tank.
Go ahead and give Rhea Seehorn all the awards for her portrayal of Kim Wexler, who I would think was from Marion if I didn’t know better.
If you enjoyed Breaking Bad and like most Americans are looking for new porn and entertainment to consume during the quarantine, you can’t go wrong with Better Call Saul, the prequel that routinely amazes me despite already knowing the fate of all but three major characters.
Other shows worth watching:
You might notice all four shows feature heavy doses of Walton Goggins the GOAT. To that I say, you’re god damn right.
Shows without Goggins:
Succession (No. 1 series on television)
Just some thoughts from a mind that hasn’t had a gallon of Tito’s dumped onto its frontal lobe in over a week. As everyone knows the first seven days are the hardest. Anything after that is when magic happens.
THE DUMBEST PEOPLE IN OHIO WANT SOME BLOOD SACRIFICE TO SATIATE THE STONK MARKET
People who unironically wear V for Vendetta masks, sexless MAGA chuds, and renegade GOP State Senate candidate Melissa Ackinson risked blatant exposure to COVID-19 to once again stand outside the Statehouse while Mike DeWine and Amy Acton, the adults with actual essential jobs during a global pandemic, attempted to inform the public on the latest threats.
That would be all well and good. Politics naturally attracts crazy people. Not that I would know anything about that unholy matrimony.
The problem is the crazy people are also inside the Statehouse with actual leverage to force people back into the meat-grinder in the name of the economy.
State Senator Andy Brenner (pictured above), who all jokes aside is within the 1% of dumbest elected officials in America at any level, apparently has nothing better to do than rant on social media like he’s me.
From Anna Staver and Cole Behrens of dispatch.com:
“We need to get the economy open, even if that means social distancing of some sort for months to come,“ Sen. Andrew Brenner, R-Delaware, wrote in a Facebook post. ”We can’t stay like this much longer, and the hundreds of thousands of Ohioans who’ve lost their jobs or the thousands of small business owners can’t keep doing this either, or their lives will be irreparably destroyed.“
…
“Many of the earliest predictions were based on what we now know to be flawed data models,” Rep. Todd Smith, R-Germantown, wrote in a letter to the governor. “We now have actual data that has shown the effect of the virus to be much less than anticipated.”
…
It’s a position held by conservatives like Dave Zanotti who runs The American Policy Roundtable as well as protesters who have started showing up at the Statehouse for the governor’s briefings.
“So far Dr. Acton has used at least three different models as the foundation for her actions ’to save lives,’” Zanotti wrote. “All three models have proven to be wrong.”
You will notice none of these clowns have any medical or serious economic credentials. They would counter that neither do I. But I’m not the one going against the sage advice of experts.
These freaks are “all life matters” until that forced birth. They fetishize babies yet are totally content at throwing older people on a pyre because they believe their religion protects them from a virus.
None of these people will be the ones risking their lives to “re-open” the economy. They will be socially distant while advocating what can only be described as economic genocide:
Sixty-three million Americans voted to run our government like a business and now this brain trust is responsible for figuring out how to sensibly slaughter an untold number of people so the magic line goes back up:
Not sure Ohio’s brightest minds are on the case, either. Twenty-four of the most politically powerful people in our state are sitting around bullshitting on Zoom like they don’t have anything better to do:
God help us all because Larry Householder’s sexist ass sure won’t. The Unemployment Fund remains an absolute disgrace. We’re sitting around with our wrinkly dicks (might be projecting there) in our hands while sitting on top of a three billion-dollar Rainy Day Fund.
Here’s an idea for economic recovery: Put cold hard cash in the hands of any Ohioan that wants it. Give small businesses' grants to cover payroll. People want certainty in these trying times. Gotta say that screenshot haunts me, which is the opposite of certainty.
No doubt low-traveling Republicans will use this crisis to farm low-information voters who are too ignorant to know how dangerous they are to themselves and loved ones. Larry Householder is spending his pandemic figuring out how to undermine DeWine and neuter the governor’s office from every overstepping his authority ever again.
While these toads croak among themselves in their swamp, here is how a hospital in Detroit is storing people who died without family and loved ones by their side:
I think every Republican who is clamoring to “re-open” the economy should name three family members or loved ones that they would condemn to a similar fate. Because that’s exactly what they’re doing to other people’s families and loved ones.
BIG DICK DeWINE BANS NON-OHIOANS FROM PURCHASING LIQUOR
People wonder why liquor stores are considered essential businesses. Well sweetheart it’s called chronic alcoholism. That means people would go through alcohol withdrawal and die without medical attention. Bad idea to unleash a new flood of patients during a pandemic.
Pennsylvania shuttered liquor stores, which shows you even Democratic governors can suck shit at public health policy. That predictably led to a small invasion of Ohio’s eastern liquor stockades. DeWine stroked the marauders out of existence with a flick of his wrist.
From David Skolnick of vindy.com:
Gov. Mike DeWine’s message to Pennsylvania residents buying liquor in the Mahoning Valley and surrounding counties was direct: You’re cut off in Ohio.
Pennsylvania residents keep coming to the Valley to buy alcohol because liquor stores in the Keystone State are closed because of the COVID-19 pandemic. DeWine banned businesses in the area Monday from selling liquor to out-of-state residents.
DeWine said he received repeated complaints from police chiefs in Trumbull, Mahoning, Columbiana, Ashtabula, Jefferson and Belmont counties about Pennsylvanians coming across the border to buy liquor.
Pennsylvania closed liquor stores March 16; Ohio has allowed them to remain open — deeming them an essential business along with grocery stores, gas stations, and banks, among others.
I feel bad for every Ohioan that lives here yet carries an out-of-state ID. They did nothing wrong and now they’re screwed unless they know someone else willing to put their life on the line for mind poison.
POOR CHILDREN LOSING IN SHIFT TO CYBER SCHOOL
Had I won my Statehouse race, one of my top priorities would have been establishing reliable rural broadband throughout the state. You would think Republicans would want something like that considering it’s rural people who put them in power.
The pandemic has exposed that the lack of internet isn’t a distinctly rural problem. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of children go to places like McDonald’s to do their homework. Those places are no longer an option so you have the image in the richest country in the world of a mother braving the elements with her children attempting to do their schoolwork.
From Lisa Rantala of abc6onyoursidenews.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio (WSYX/WTTE) — Families with no internet access during this pandemic say they’re suffering major struggles with assignments and classwork.
One Columbus mother spoke to Scoring Our Schools who took her three children to Parsons Elementary School to try to use the district’s WiFi. She wanted to remain anonymous as she cannot afford the internet at home.
“I lost my job. We were all laid off. There’s absolutely no income, right now,” said the mother. “We go to fast food places, here at school, library parking lots.”
The family sat along the brick and mortar of the school as they said the broadband could not reach their van in the parking lot. Battling Monday’s chilly temperatures and severe wind, only one of the children was able to log onto his device to do his schoolwork.
I don’t know. Maybe we could take some of that $3 billion Ran Day Fund and give this nice woman, who is obviously trying her damndest to make sure her kids are educated, enough to cover her internet bill for the next year. It’d cost less than $1,000.
YOUR BUM-ASS CREDITORS CAN’T GANK YOUR CORONA CA$H
The IRS emailed me at 2:38 a.m. this morning.
I claimed $73K (before taxes as I’m a small business owner according to Ohio tax code) last year which entitled me to a $1,200 in corona cash from Uncle Sam. I haven’t read the fine print. I’m sure these shysters will tax me on this money at a later date to fund tax cuts for real estate tycoons. The federal government ain’t seeing a dime of that money. This much I know.
$1,200 is the least of what they should pay me to live here. Ask not what your government can do for you? Why the fuck not? Who the hell else is going to provide universal healthcare that’s free at point of service? I don’t see protests overseas for people clamoring to bring deductibles into their lives.
Anyway that’s another rant for another day. The point is your corona cash BELONGS TO YOU and you are free to do whatever you want with it, including drugs and socially distant kinky sex. It’s a pandemic, baby. Your creditors hold no power here.
From timesbulletin.com:
(COLUMBUS, Ohio) – Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost today alerted creditors and financial institutions that COVID-19 stimulus checks are protected under existing Ohio law from bill collectors and exempt from state and federal attachment, garnishment or execution.
“The stimulus checks were intended to be used during an emergency – to put food on the table, keep the lights on, and a roof over our heads,” Yost said. “It wasn’t meant to pay off an old bill.”
Yost said he is sending notices to relevant entities as well as posting the notice on his website. He pointed out that Ohio Revised Code 2329.66(A)(12)(d) applies to payments under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act.
This won’t stop the phone sharks from haranguing your grandmother into forking that over because they know she’s flush right now. Tell everyone you know that can get bullied out of cash over the phone that they have autonomy over that money.
I think I’m going to squirrel away this $1,200 and any other handout from Uncle Sam away in something called a “savings account” for the day the coronavirus dawg check appears on the horizon and then I’m booking a three-month fact-finding mission from Mexico to Cuba to Colombia to Argentina. This pandemic has shown me that I do not need 97% of what I thought I needed to survive.
If you got your corona cash, you should, uh, subscribe to The Rooster for five-days-a-week service:
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