The Rooster's Most Popular Articles of 2023
Celebrating another record-breaking year for The Patriots Caucus.
Folks, it’s that famous time of year again when we’re pushing all our problems into 2024. Hell, I’m no different. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t recap another record-breaking year thanks to you, the brave and noble reader.
The Rooster started in December 2018. The almighty Business Line continued to rise despite my chronic alcoholism until I finally kicked the Tito’s Handmade Vodka habit to the curb in August of 2022.
But this year has been transformational for The Rooster. It’s gone from the depraved ramblings of a madman to the depraved ramblings of a madman that’s regularly read by some of the most influential people in state government.
The lesson, as always, is that you can influence state government as long as you’re deranged and dedicated enough (in that order) to think you can do it in the first place.
Here is what the all-time revenue graph looks like:
You might notice that the Y-Axis is obscured. That’s an intentional gambit on my part. There are some Statehouse Republicans who think I’m homeless. Others think I’m living lavishly after being bankrolled by State Rep. Sara Carruthers (R-Hamilton).
The truth is somewhere between those two existences. And I’d like to keep it that way for the time being. In truth, The Rooster is worth the trouble.
If you enjoy my work and would like to support independent political media in a state sorely lacking it, please consider joining the fabled Patriots Caucus at 33% off the sticker price—a price you’ll enjoy for eternity or until I croak at my keyboard, whichever may come first.
You can also purchase candles, t-shirts and hoodies over at The RooStore, which is a five-star rated seller on Etsy. If there’s a certain product you have in mind that I don’t offer, please contact me, and I’ll see what I can do.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of the operation we’ve built together. I don’t sell ads, nor do I purchase them. The best advertisement I have is word-of-mouth, so please consider telling a friend about the most disgusting newsletter they probably have never heard about.
Thank you again for reading in a world with limitless options. It means more than my humble writing talent can convey in a single dispatch.
Here are the 50 most-read dispatches of 2023, as dictated by your clicks. Some are free to read; others are for patriots’ eyes only.
You can read them all by joining the Patriots Caucus at 33% off the sticker price:
The picture Derek Merrin & the Center for Christian Virtue don’t want you to see.
The Rooster’s 2023 sample ballot.
Get dumped then, Issue 1!!!
State Rep. Jena Powell committed voter fraud or mortgage fraud.
The biggest losers from Ohio’s seismic election.
Ohio’s hog voters did the damn thing!
The ticking time bomb in the Bob Young case.
Frank LaRose’s Miami County campaign captain doesn’t exist.
They must have mistaken me for some other communist blogger.
An open letter to the losers who murdered my friend.
It only looks like uncontrolled rage to the suburbanite crackers who control Columbus.
The Newest Testament: Special correspondent Max Littman scores a Biblical brawl.
East Palestine is what the future looks like.
The hog voter, explained.
Get dumped then, Derek Merrin.
The Rooster’s 2023 Sloopys ballot.
What they took from me.
The Rooster Mailbag Extravaganza.
Emergency Rooster: The Randazzler bites the big one!
I used to pray for times like this.
What Larry Householder can expect in FCI Elkton.
Get a load of Derek Myers, a weird little freak running for Congress.
Oh yeah, Larry Householder is on a one-way ticket to federal prison.
Get dumped then, Frank LaRose!
How to burn bridges and alienate allies.
Retiring from alcohol was the best decision of my life.
Break Down of a Bust Up: Riley Gaines.
You can just lie about your education level.
Juan Cespedes and the cost of not getting caught early.
What’s love without respect?
Frank LaRose is okay with antisemitism that helps him.
See you in Hell, Senator Huffman (R-Lima)
Rooster in Review: Racists descend on Put-in-Bay brawl story.
Shannon Hardin never saw the out-of-pocket honkey comin’.
Josh Mandel is headed back to divorce court.
When good dogs tweet bad.
A sucker punch killed my friend.
What the hell is State Rep. Juanita Brent’s problem?
That jabroni mayor Aftab Pureval doesn’t know ball.
Emergency Rooster: Niraj exits Statehouse, eyes Congress.
Who’s this legislative dipshit? Meet State Rep. Phil Plummer (R-Dayton).
The right to silence.
Down goes Larry Householder.
Mayor Suburbs has no clothes.
Dave Yost is scared of the world he helped build.
Flip Floppin’ Frank LaRose meets The Patriots Caucus.
Senator Sewer shows Derek Merrin how the game is played.
Break the wheel.
THOSE WMDs. Hollywood is hiding its musicals… Nationalize Greyhound… Labour Party demands crackdown on rogue American candy stores “blighting” high streets… The personal, political art of board-game design… The Red State Brain Drain isn’t coming; it’s happening right now.