Rooster in Review: As always, I welcome their hatred

Frank LaRose's campaign team unlocked a surprise for their boss.

I recently acquired an addiction to Pumpkin Spice Lattes on a whim. I don’t know how it happened, considering I had previously had roughly two sips of coffee in my life that I thought were both equally disgusting.

But now I’m one of those guys who can say, “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee!” This is what happened to me today when the campaign team of that loser Frank LaRose attempted to potshot me on Twitter:

Always a good sign for your ostensibly serious Senate campaign when you appear on a podcast called “PillowTalk” hosted by some “pro-American social media influencer” who is only popular on TikTok, the preferred social media app of President Xi Jinping.

But as always, I welcome the hatred of Frank LaRose and his small team of socially stunted weirdos masquerading as political masterminds.

It lets me know that my reporting, like this article from August that I’ve unlocked today for the masses, hits home:

But LaRose can thank his gremlins for shoving their thumb in my eye before I had my morning Pumpkin Spice Latte. Because I’ve got a surprise coming for him in Monday’s dispatch.

If you support my work, please take this opportunity to join the Patriots Caucus. On top of the normal subscription perks, you’ll be getting access to official Rooster hoodies at cost when they debut in the near future.

Thanks again to every reader! Together, we are fraying the nerves of the stumblebum cartel that runs our polluted backwater outpost.

This week in Ohio Man…

An AI-generated image for, “An Ohio Man stealing a pitbull named Spicy Meatball”

What I love about this weekly feature is you never know what criminal hijinks Ohio Man will get up to.

This week we’ve got a guy who tried and failed to shoot a woman before deciding to steal a dog named “Spicy Meatball.”

From Jen Balduf of mydaytondailynews.com:

Nov. 2—A Dayton man is accused of pointing a handgun at a woman Monday and pulling the trigger — but the gun did not fire — before stealing her dog from the backyard.

Bail was set at $75,000 for Alva Jason Johnson, 46, during his Wednesday arraignment in Dayton Municipal Court. He was charged Tuesday with aggravated burglary, burglary, engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity, having a weapon under disability and misdemeanor aggravated menacing.

[…]

The woman said she told Johnson to stop because his issue had nothing to do with her. Johnson then said he needed something for collateral and walked through her house and into the backyard, where he broke the door to her camper and stole her dog, a black and white cane corso, pit bull mix named Spicy Meatball, the affidavit stated.

Stealing a dog in the commissioning of a crime is one easy way for a jury of your peers to advocate for the death penalty. Americans love their dogs! Mr. Johnson should take whatever plea deal the Dayton prosecutor offers.

This week in The Rooster…

• The Rooster’s Official Sample Ballot. Candidates and issues from around Ohio that have earned my Complete & Total Endorsement. This dispatch is free for all.

• The scandalous Supreme Court. Pat DeWine’s former mistress is back at the Supreme Court after then-Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters hired her out of his office to keep the affair out of the press.

• The 10 most insane moments of Ohio’s anti-abortion campaign. Rehashing the most batshit lies told by anti-abortion freaks in their doomed campaign against Issue 1.

As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter, TikTok and Bluesky for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.

THOSE WMDs. Columbus and its suburbs shower developers with state-leading tax abatements… Millions work as content creators, in official records they barely exist… Why the street movements of the 2010s failed… Unlocking the mystery of who invented the Bloomin’ Onion… Homemade Hamburger Helper recipe… Is the air safe to breathe in a park that Colorado built over I-70 to contain pollution?