Rooster in Review: Danny O'Connor, You're Still an Asshole
The week that was in The Rooster, including Ohio's botched redistricting process and Danny O'Connor taking donations only to quit like a dog.
The Rooster in Review was started as a way to keep readers informed of weekly dispatches while also being able to update them on past stories that weren’t mentioned in the daily dispatch of “Today in What The Rooster is Mad About.”
This week offers a perfect example of that mission statement thanks to Franklin County Recorder Danny O’Connor. When The Rooster last mentioned O’Connor, it was back in May 2021, when he opted to lie to Democratic voters about his chances of facing Jim Jordan:
Again, his daughter has never lived in a country where Jim Jordan wasn’t a Congressional representative, but you can see why went the grifting route when you saw the metrics of his previous five tweets:
One Retweet, 15 Likes
14 Retweets, 103 Likes
22 Retweets, 22 Likes
One Retweet, 15 Likes
Two Retweets, 11 Likes
O’Connor would go on to drum the specter of Jordan numerous times and raked an untold amount of cash from coastal liberals who are too lazy to actually understand why a Democrat will never unseat Jim Jordan:
As The Rooster predicted, O’Connor did not land in Jordan’s District, but rather the newly drawn Ohio 15th Congressional District, a Republican-leaning district currently held by coal lobbyist Mike Carey.
Carey, despite being a stooge cut from the same cloth as Jordan, does not carry the national name recognition that makes for an easy specter to raise in fundraising emails.
So did O’Connor stand and fight on his principles and try to keep an equally repellent hobgoblin from maintaining power in the country in which his daughter will be forced to grow up?
No! He quit like a dog and blamed voter advocacy groups because he was always full of shit:
Everything sucks about this statement, right down to O’Connor’s improper use of the word “discernment.” Turns out that winning elections is a lot harder when you haven’t hobnobbed your way into the good graces of the local Democratic machine.
In a normal world, this would end the idea of O’Connor ever being elected to Congress. But he undoubtedly raised a ton of money from gullible idiots that can now be spent on his future endeavors. He should donate those funds to a local abortion fund and stop wasting our god damn time.
The clown circus will continue until morale improves.
The Ohio Republican Party was always going to do their best to ratfuck Ohio’s new anti-gerrymandering law, as The Rooster predicated in the same aforementioned May 2021 article.
And who can blame them considering the results? They already minted Congressional maps that will likely result in a 14-2/Republican-Democrat split when Joe Biden and company suffer their inevitable bloodbath this November that they’ll promptly blame on a few minority congresswomen for pushing “Defund the Police” two summers ago.
Ohio Supreme Court Chief Justice Maureen O’Connor, a Republican, has steadfastly opposed her party’s ability to ratfuck the State Legislature maps in a similar fashion, which is why the Supreme Court rejected the Ohio Redistricting Commission’s biased maps for a fourth time in this process earlier this week.
State House Speaker Bob Cupp (R-Lima) and State Senate President Matt Huffman (R-Lima) have been the driving force behind the ratfucking. They have complained that the 10 days usually allotted by the Court is not enough time to obey the will of the voters. They have now been given 22 days to complete the task, which will assuredly not be enough time for Cupp or Huffman considering they’ve been steadfast in their sabotage throughout the process.
However, the Ohio Supreme Court’s deadline of May 6th falls well after a federal court’s previous deadline of April 20th. The federal court may or may not take over the process entirely, which seems like the best case scenario given the Republican sabotage and the Ohio Supreme Court’s unwillingness to jail anyone on contempt charges.
Do you understand how insane you have to be to follow this process, blow by blow? The Rooster feels insane just typing it out.
That’s by design to hide the fact we live in a state controlled by old, musty crackers who look down their noses at urban voters while enjoying their private lives in our fancy restaurants and apartments.
This week in The Rooster:
An Ode to the Corner Store. The Corner Store is an American institution and should be treated as such.
Starting to Think Ohio State is Evil. Employing a sex criminal as a team physician for decades is one thing. Employing an army of lobbyists to deny his victims justice decades later is another thing entirely.
Who’s This Legislative Dipshit? Meet State Rep. Jay Edwards. He may be the dumbest member in the Legislature.
Baker Mayfield Still Doesn’t Get It (And Probably Never Will). In the weekly free dispatch, The Rooster promises this is the last time this surly bum will appear in these humble pages.
Sweet Jesus, the Hillbilly Cosplayer May Have Won Trump’s Hunger Games. If Trump actually endorses J.D. Vance, at least we can take solace in laughing at Josh Mandel.
And remember, you can always follow The Rooster on Twitter for up-to-the-minute commentary on all the latest hobgoblin happenings around the state.
THOSE WMDs. How Red States plan to reach beyond their borders to ban abortion in America… Former Central California water manager stole $25 million in water over 23 years, prosecutors say… The gatekeepers who open America to shell companies and secret owners… California governor Gavin Newsom needs a reality check on his presidential ambitions.
I think Byrnes should move to California. He seems to hate Ohio. He could live out there with the rest of the fruits and nuts. He'd fit right in.