Rooster in Review: It ain't stealing if you're smooth about it
Also, the former director of the Ohio Lottery was a criminally horny man.
Folks, far be it from me to offer you life advice, but if there’s one kernel of wisdom I could impart to you, it’s that it’s a bad idea to sext your subordinates any time, but especially if you’re the Director of the Ohio Lottery.
It’s a lesson Pat McDonald learned the hard way.
From Morgan Trau of news5cleveland.com:
McDonald frequently texted “I love you,” and other statements, such as “I still have a major crush on you,” and “You’re a gift from god to me,” in addition to other inappropriate texts and emojis sent at all hours of the day and night.
On Saturday, Jan. 21, McDonald texted: “People love you – do we want to expand on things? I’d be happy to keep you to myself,” followed by the eggplant and heart emojis.
In the texts provided, the employee does not reciprocate or address the affectionate comments.
Wild how a guy this criminally horny got to the top of the Ohio Lottery Commission while sexting “at all hours of the day and night.”
Even more psychotic than using a series of heart and eggplant emojis with a subordinate is that they weren’t even sexting back!!!
Of course, this loser claimed he had a huge medical issue and was contemplating retirement anyway, so he gets to take his state pension and ride off into the sunset to sext at all hours of the day and night. He’ll probably be working at the Statehouse by next week.
This week in Ohio Man…
According to the Ohio Supreme Court, it ain’t a burglary if you act like a smooth criminal.
Ohio (AP) — An Ohio man acted so casually when he stole a $500 leaf blower from a residence that it wasn’t a burglary, the state Supreme Court ruled Wednesday.
The justices found that because Donald Bertram did not use “secret conduct, force, stealth, or deception” to commit the crime, he should not be convicted of burglary.
Instead, they said he can be convicted of the lesser offense of misdemeanor trespassing, which could bring him less than a year in jail.
According to court documents, in 2020 a Portsmouth homeowner saw Bertram park on the road near the driveway, then started walking up the driveway to the home’s open garage.
Somehow I doubt this legal precedent would’ve applied to the bandits who pinched the eight-year-old Chevy Equinox of Secretary of State Frank LaRose in Upper Arlington this week, had they been caught instead of wisely abandoning the car shortly after realizing they stole a state official’s whip.
This week in The Rooster…
Welcome to the final countdown. Abortion rights, Neo-Nazis, and drag racing—oh my!
A Rooster mailbag extravaganza. You had over 150 questions, and I had some of the answers.
Frank LaRose pokes the bear. Upper Arlington resident Frank LaRose shows he does not hang out with everyday GOP voters, and more!
As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter and TikTok for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. Inside the delirious rise of “superfake” handbags… How Rep. James Clyburn protected his district at a cost to Black Democrats… Why we love (and love to hate) cruises… Americans love Cinco de Mayo but few know what they’re celebrating… Chaos and betrayal on Day 1 of Bath & Beyond’s closeout sale.