Rooster in Review: Joe Biden can't run forever!

An Ohio man learns why it's a bad idea to broadcast porno to a restaurant.

President Joe Biden is visiting East Palestine today, a year after Norfolk Southern dumped a trainload of toxic chemicals into the ground.

I won’t lie, I thought about riding my bicycle there in an attempt to Bust Up the president. Biden is better than the alternative, obviously, but I was hoping to convince the octogenarian to step aside and go do something better with his golden years than probably losing a campaign to Donald Trump in the fall.

Biden needs to step aside and let Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker, a big boy for all seasons, take the reins, but sadly he won’t hear that from me today because his team is smart enough to keep Biden from making any public appearances.

Oh, well. Sleepy Joe can’t run forever! I remain hopeful that I can get Biden and Donald Trump on camera at some point during the 2024 presidential race—may God help us all.

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This week in Ohio Man…

We have another all-time Ohio Man, folks. This week’s champion found out how quickly you can go from pranking a restaurant full of families to jail if the that prank involves showing porno to children.

From Cliff Pinckard of cleveland.com:

GREEN, Ohio — A Canton man used his cellphone to cast pornography onto a television in a Summit County restaurant in which children were present, leading to his arrest on multiple charges, authorities say.

Dylan Seibel, 30, is charged with disseminating matter harmful to juveniles under the age of 13, a felony, and disseminating matter harmful to juveniles, a first-degree misdemeanor. Seibel is being held in the Summit County Jail.

The incident occurred on Feb. 4, according to the Summit County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies were called to a restaurant in Green at about 8:30 p.m. Three families, including children ages 9 to 12 years old, reportedly went to the restaurant earlier after a youth basketball tournament.

Now Mr. Seibel will have this article on the first page of Google results whenever a future employer searches his name. And unfortunately for him, I don’t think many employers will want the kind of brain that concocted this hare-brained scheme and got jailed for it.

This week in The Rooster…

• Emergency Rooster dispatch: Attorney General “Dusty Dave” Yost ruins my off-day by being useful for once in his life an unveiling state charges against key HB-6 co-conspirators.

• It’s all in the game, right? Low morale in the Secretary of State’s office lead to Frank LaRose hiring an unqualified candidate to replace the spokesman he fired after The Rooster reported on his anti-Trump tweets. Also includes riffs on Justin Bibb hitting on women and the HB-6 investigation drawing ever closer to Governor DeWine and Lieutenant Governor Jon Husted.

• What Holy Rollin’ is all about. You almost have to admire the way the ultra-wealthy manipulate White Evangelicals to aid their unchristian agenda. Ohio is a prime example.

THOSE WMDs. City planning’s greatest innovation is making a comeback... Fanatics finally pissed off the wrong people… Cybertruck owners say their stainless steel panels are rusting…How I got scammed out of $50,000… His best friend was a 250-pound warthog until one day it decided to kill him.