Rooster in Review: My impromptu lunch date with State Rep. Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville)
Give Ferguson this much: He didn't run the other way like some of his compatriots.
And so concludes The Rooster’s first week of only publishing on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Since free articles will only be at my discretion going forward, I’ll try to beef up weekly The Rooster in Review articles as a token of appreciation for the freeloading subscribers huffing fumes out in the parking lot.
If you are on the fence about joining the fabled Patriots Caucus of President Xi Jinping, please redeem this 33% off coupon. It’ll be the lowest price offered for the foreseeable future:
As always, thank you for your readership. Now sit back and enjoy the show.
I live within one mile of the Swamphouse, but it’s only within the last month or so that I’ve come to realize what state legislators really don’t want you to know about that place.
It’s a shooting gallery!
And I’m not talking about the loser Second Amendment type, either. It’s a shooting gallery in the First Amendment way. Do you have a beef with a state legislator? If so, they want you on Twitter and Facebook taking your potshots at them. Because, in actuality, any member of the public is entitled to 90% of the Statehouse grounds just like they are.
Take my friend, State Rep. Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville). The last time I saw him was at the press conference of State Rep. Derek Merrin (R-Monclova), in which I put Merrin and State Rep. Jena Powell (R-Arcanum) in a blender as soon as the press conference concluded.
As soon as that sad charade ended, Ferguson attempted to tie his shoe (with no laces) in a hilarious pathetic attempt to obstruct my path to Merrin. I stepped over him like a bug on my way to the exclusive interview.
On Wednesday, I walked to the Swamphouse for another five-star meal at House Taco, the best taco place in downtown Columbus. The beauty of the Swamphouse is that on any given day, you never know who’ll you’ll stumble across!
And wouldn’t you know it? I caught State Rep. Ferguson walking into a bathroom before his lunch.
Give Ferguson this much: He didn’t run away or attempt to hang himself in the bathroom. He emerged in a timely manner, and we held a discussion right until he walked into the non-militarized zone of House Taco and hilariously attempted to turn the cameras on me while demanding to know my views on communism as if I’m a government official and not just some fucking guy with an iPhone and a vendetta.
Ferguson’s shamelessness is on full display in the video. He attempted to deny his little shoelace maneuver until finding out that a lobbyist captured the gruesome footage for all his compatriots to see.
You can also see his displeasure in talking about his family’s wealth and the $900,000 house that he just moved into with his wife.
I had to de-escalate the situation from there, because like I said, I don’t want to ruin the vibes of House Taco by bringing my confrontational work into a place of business.
And I was content to end the meeting there. But to his credit, Ferguson invited me to join him at the lunch table where we both enjoyed barbacoa tacos and talked about everything from Derek Merrin’s fall, which subset of Republican House Representatives really has juice as well as his future in the Statehouse.
I’ll also admit that his current bill to clarify hospital pricing (“You should know the price of an x-ray before you go to the hospital,” he said) is sound public policy that would have my vote in the legislature.
I still think Ferguson is nuts. The feeling is likely mutual, though it must be said that he refused to clarify what, exactly, I got wrong about him in my original profile (read: nothing).
Days later, I’m still laughing at him deploying his one Reverse Uno card on an interview that occurred by total happenstance.
It’s a tactic that won’t work for him next time. But until then, Ferguson can at least sleep at night knowing he earned a modicum of my respect in the exchange.
That’s more than I can say about any of the other losers in Merrin’s Holy Roller clique.
This week in Ohio Man…
There are many benefits to being a white male in society, and I say that as a white man who has enjoyed many of those benefits myself.
But of the under-discussed benefits is that white men can commit heinous crimes of violence and still be presented as “extremely sweet” in media reports.
From Devoun Cetoute of yahoo.com:
Max Hartley came to South Florida to enjoy a spring break vacation — but he left facing a criminal charge for allegedly beating Def Leppard’s drummer and a woman earlier this week.
Yet how Sam Halpern, Hartley’s lawyer, described the 19-year-old was starkly different than his actions detailed in 911 calls and an arrest report.
“He’s an extremely sweet young man,” said Halpern, of Sam Halpern P.A. “He’s never been in trouble with the law before.”
From Avon, Ohio, Hartley was an all-around athlete in high school before entering college, playing football, rugby and recreational league basketball.
“He was regarded highly with close family and friends for years,” Halpern added.
How is Hartley’s athletic career relevant to him beating two senior citizens on Spring Break? It’s unclear! But his lawyer is allowed to present his case as early as the second paragraph, and by the fourth, the reporter is already weaving that narrative in their own words!
I didn’t need to see Hartley’s picture to guess his race because you never see minorities treated with similar respect in reports about their violent crimes.
This week on The Rooster…
You can just lie about your education level. It’s what some state legislators do!
An exercise in drunk driving. The Columbus Division of Police spent $160,000 on an anti-DUI van in the same week three of its officers got popped for drunken driving in three different counties.
The so-called Backpack Bill is CCV’s next loss. Statehouse Republicans will still do something around “school choice,” but it will be nowhere close to the scale currently proposed by minions of the Center for Christian Virtue.
Be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter, TikTok and Facebook for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. How to clean a glass oven door… In defense of the landline phone… How to quit about anything… 10 great Irish novels not set in Ireland… Cooks, parents and students push back on USDA effort to make school lunch healthier.