You probably noticed the art at the top of the email. God, I wish I were cool enough to make the blunt-smoking skeleton my primary business logo. But no, that’s just a secondary photo I contracted to put on stickers that will confuse people down.
“The Rooster… hmmm… look ominous, but I don’t see any rooster in the picture!?”
This is the kind of stuff that amuses me. But seriously, here’s a look at the new logo:
My friend said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. You seem a lot buffer than I remember.” Well, motherfucker, what am I supposed to do? Have some pip squeak rooster? That ain’t The Rooster, and I’m not trying to project that kind of aura.
I commissioned some stickers with the new logo and will mail one, for free, to the first five (5) people that respond to this email with “President Xi Jinping for President 2024” and their address.
Members of Chairman Xi’s Patriots Caucus, don’t fret if you don’t win this one. I will be giving out more exclusively to the caucus on Monday. If you are not a member, please consider subscribing:
Those who sent sticker money last week for the Youngstown fund will also get a new logo sticker with your order going in the mailbox at 4 p.m. today. I will respond to the winning emails.
If none of the above applies to you and you want to purchase a sticker directly, Venmo whatever you’re willing to pay to @warrengharding. Include your address in the memo.
This Week in Ohio Man…
I am of the age where there was a point in time I had every word to Afroman’s “Because I Got High” and “Colt 45” memorized. And I wasn’t the only one in my college dorm, either.
It’s respect for Afroman that I’ll carry to the grave despite being unaware that he lives in Adams County of all places!?
From Molly Schramm of wcpo.com:
ADAMS COUNTY, Ohio — Rapper and songwriter Afroman said the Adam's County Sheriff's Office caused damage when they raided his home this past weekend.
Afroman, whose real name is Joseph Foreman, shared photos and videos of the raid on Instagram. It shows multiple officers breaking down a door, coming in with long rifles drawn.
Sergeant Brian Newland of the Adams County Sheriff's Office said the raid was part of an "ongoing investigation," and said he couldn't release a lot of info on the details of that investigation.
He said the sheriff's department served a search warrant on Aug. 21 around 8 p.m., and items of evidence were recovered during the search.
"Now here they are kicc-ing in my door looking for weapons of mass destruction and 100,000,000 pounds of weed," Afroman wrote on Instagram.
In retrospect, it’s probably not surprising that the Sheriff thinks Afroman keeps 100,000,000 pounds of weed in his residence. Sheriffs are notoriously that dumb, and Afroman is notoriously that cool.
This week in The Rooster…
Fear and Loathing in Liberty Township: Get a Load of These Freaks. The top dispatch of my week includes the freaks and geeks at the Ron DeSantis and J.D. Vance rally in suburban Youngstown.
Ron DeSantis Will Never Be President. This dude is a tiny, Yale-educated nerd cosplaying as a tough guy. His ambition ultimately outstrips his talent.
The Teachers’ Strike Really Begins Now. The teachers strike truly kicked off Wednesday when students were to report to class. (The union and school board have since reached a tentative agreement on which rank-and-file union members will vote this weekend.)
Crowcast Episode 8: Nancy Larson. One of Ohio’s most interesting Ohio House candidates stops by Rooster HQ to give her diagnosis on the hobgoblin cartel that runs this state. This episode is also available on Spotify.
The Attacks on Public Schools Will Never Cease. The Center for Christian Values literally wrote the latest attempt to funnel public money to private institutions. You would think CCV’s president would be proud of his organization’s work.
THOSE WMDs. Activists envision alternatives to monstrous highway expansion in Cincy and Northern Kentucky… The utterly delightful site dedicated to classifying plastic bread tags… The way to your brain is through your stomach… The man who came into my home at night… Biden’s new student loan forgiveness plan, explained.