Rooster in Review: Ohio Man tweets about sports during own RICO trial
Nobody can deny that former Ohio GOP chairman Matt Borges understands the The Tao of the Poster
People approach me, randomly off the street at all times and say, “DJ, sir, it’s crazy to me that, given your workman’s pace of fantastic posts, you’re not already posting from Titty Island. What happened to this country?”
I sometimes don’t understand it myself. But the truth is I’m a god-awful businessman. I realized today that I gave away a bunch of stickers last week without actually having stickers in stock.
So, being the savvy businessman that I am, I went ahead and placed that express order today.
The bad news is this means your stickers (and maybe a shirt, should President Xi Jinping smile upon you!) won’t be arriving until early February. That’s my bad on that.
The good news is that the sticker packet will include all three officially commissioned stickers as opposed to the logo one that I originally planned to ship. That’s my thanks for hanging tight.
Next week’s dispatches, contrary to normal scheduling, will be exclusive to members of the Patriots Caucus as thanks for supporting my work during the ongoing saga of State Rep. Derek Merrin (R-Monclova).
If you are not yet a member of the most prestigious hive of Ohio Politics Knowers on the internet, then feel free to fix that problem at a discounted rate:
As always, thank you regardless for reading The Rooster. Support of all kinds helps continue the independent political commentary that landlords love to hate.
This week in Ohio Man….
Former Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder (R-Glenford) is currently on trial for racketeering in Cincinnati. That trial resumes Monday after a juror caught COVID.
But former Ohio Republican Party chairman Matt Borges, a Householder co-defendant, whose insane antics have been profiled in a guest Rooster dispatch before, is also on trial.
Borges, you might recall, also made sure to let it be known that he told the federal government to go fuck themselves when they presented him with their final plea offer.
It’s a bold strategy! We’ll see how it works out for him. But regardless, I am confident that Borges has already made history as the first Ohio Man to literally tweet through his racketeering trial:
This one was sent during the actual trial! True Tao of the Poster stuff here. It’s coursing through his veins.
Borges sent this one at 12:27 a.m. Thursday morning:
Borges has also named Stojko Vrankovic as “the most random Celtic” he can think of, and Jeff Graham as the most random Chicago Bear.
Those tweets, however, were sent with the court recessed until the following week.
Householder, for comparison, hasn’t tweeted since days before his initial arrest in the summer of 2020:
Tweets do not dictate intelligence… but folks, I gotta say, I’m starting to understand how these guys came to their current predicament.
It wasn’t in the good way, either!
This week in The Rooster…
Ohio House Democrats are bad at this. After The Rooster dropped a dime on State Rep. Jena Powell (R-Arcanum), it’s clear House Democrats aren’t even interested in embarrassing their ostensible opponents.
Oh yeah, Larry Householder is on a one-way express ticket to federal prison. Householder is broke and headed to prison, which is why he hired a clown cartel to defend him in court.
HB-6 was a $1 billion, not a $60 million, scheme. It’s important to remember that Householder was a crucial albeit small piece to the HB-6 puzzle.
Who’s This Legislative Dipshit? Meet State Rep. Ron Ferguson (R-Wintersville). This loser collected unemployment (fine and good, actually) while sitting on a mountain of family cash (bad). He also hasn’t worked a real job in over a decade while living off generational wealth that let him and his wife, who committed voter fraud twice in recent months, purchase a new $9000,000 house.
Tim Ryan says, “Fuck them grandkids.” Ryan’s post-Congressional career choice shows he’s exactly the type of loser we thought he was.
As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter for all of Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. The steep price decline in used car prices, explained… The Iberian lynx is bounding toward recovery… William S. Bourrough’s hate letter to Truman Capote… Ohio GOP lawmakers share insight into current caucus rift… How did this man think he had the right to adopt this baby?