Rooster in Review: Sherrod Brown leaves the door open
Tim Ryan and Sherrod Brown mull 2026 options, the less-than-sterling reputation of the Pit Bull Attorney, and Frank LaRose's potential D.C. exit gets kneecapped.
I was talking to a Republican on Capitol Square on Tuesday if you can believe that.
He said that he and his friends were a little disappointed that I didn’t have a psychotic break due to my beautiful hog voters going tits up at the goal line in the election.
I won’t be selling this operation to enter the Election Prediction market; I can tell you that much.
Nevertheless, the work of raising Hell in the Statehouse continues unabated. I worked too long trying to kill myself one double-Tito-and-soda at a time to amass the mental illness that makes me somewhat of a renowned figure on Capitol Square. I refuse to give the Republican junta the pleasure of seeing me log off until I’m ready to abscond to Titty Island, from where I’ll continue to post since it’s my only marketable skill.
Until then, I’d be honored if you considered subscribing to The Rooster to help sustain the work. The main lesson of this blog is that your enemies are local, and there is much to be done at the city, county and state level despite whatever is happening at the cocaine orgies of Washington D.C.
With the self-promotion out of the way, let’s cover some tidbits that came across the newswire early Friday morning.
Sherrod Brown refuses to get a job
On Monday, I laid out my case for why Sherrod Brown will run against whomever Governor Sleepy Tea appoints to J.D. Vance’s soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat in 2026.
Since then, Brown has had two chances to refute the idea of returning to the public arena… and he has conspicuously failed to do so each time.
The latest chance came Friday on a Politico podcast:
“I’m not an expert in psychoanalyzing how voters get to Donald Trump, but I know that we’ve let them get to Donald Trump by not focusing on them and listening to them and showing we’re on the side of workers all the time.”
[…]
“That’s my future in this party, is to focus on helping the Democratic Party and my colleagues understand how important that is, that we talk to workers and we make decisions with workers at the table,”
[…]
On running for J.D. Vance’s soon-to-be-vacated seat in 2026: “I’ve ruled nothing out.”
I was never a big fan of Brown’s “dignity of work” mantra because it came from a guy who has never had a job. He was literally elected to the State Legislature while a student at Yale Law (another red flag).
But if he’s going to run for Senate again… it’s hard to think of anyone other than LeBron James who would be a stronger candidate for the seat, especially in an election without Donald Trump at the top of the ticket.
But Brown isn’t the only retread candidate eyeing 2026. Tim Ryan, last seen running an entire campaign around not being the homosexual kind of Democrat, is also keeping his options open despite previously denying interest in running.
From Andrew J. Tobias of signalcleveland.org:
“I said I wasn’t,” Ryan said in an interview on Tuesday. “People have been calling me and saying, ‘Keep your options open.’ So I’m keeping my options open right now.”
[…]
But Ryan said he’s been in touch with Democratic leaders since last Tuesday, including James Carville and David Axelrod, key strategists for Bill Clinton’s and Barack Obama’s presidential campaigns. He said he thinks 2026 could end up being a good national political environment for Democrats, depending on what President-elect Donald Trump does.
Here’s my thing with Ryan. You can tell a lot about these politicians by what they do after they leave public office.
In Ryan’s case, he immediately joined the methane and cryptocurrency industries after bashing climate change denialism in his 2020 presidential run, which probably only I remember.
If Ryan runs, it won’t be for Senate against Brown. And he won’t be running for something like Secretary of State, either. It would most likely be for the governorship.
Spectrum national politics reporter Taylor Popielarz, who used to cover Ohio politics, floated Dr. Amy Acton, House Minority Leader Allison Russo (D-Upper Arlington), Congresswoman Emilia Sykes (D-Akron) and Congressmen Greg Landsman (D-Cincinnati) as potential statewide candidates.
Dr. Acton and Minority Leader Russo are planning to run for governor. I have grave concerns about Dr. Acton’s candidacy—especially in a General Election.
Russo is largely unknown to the electorate, but she has at least been in the trenches of state politics and earned the right to run statewide.
Sykes and Landsman can go fuck themselves.
The natural response to hearing Frank LaRose might be involved in anything
Last week, Secretary of State Frank LaRose obviously leaked to national media that he was “very interested” in leading the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Agency under Donald Trump.
The move makes sense for LaRose: It would get him out of Ohio politics, where his best path forward is a step backward in the 2026 Auditor’s race, and allow him to build some Trump credibility before returning to Ohio later.
As I mentioned in Friday’s dispatch, LaRose's exiting for the national stage would leave the door open for State Senator Theresa Gavarone (R-Hell) to earn the appointment to the Secretary of State’s office and all but end a much-anticipated primary between her and State Senator Niraj Antani (R-Miamisburg) in 2026.
However, there might not even be a cybersecurity agency for LaRose to laughably lord over!
From Maggie Miller of Politico:
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is set to take over as chair of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee now that Republicans have clinched the chamber and has a plan for overseeing the nation’s cyber agency: eliminate, or severely curtail the powers of, the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency.
Paul, whose committee has jurisdiction over the cyber agency and others, has long had concerns about CISA and its efforts to counter disinformation, particularly around the 2020 U.S. presidential election. The senator has accused the agency of singling out conservative voices and infringing on free speech and has supported calls for an overhaul.
“I’d like to eliminate it,” Paul told POLITICO Thursday. “The First Amendment is pretty important, that’s why we listed it as the First Amendment, and I would have liked to, at the very least, eliminate their ability to censor content online.”
This power play is a handout to Vladamir Putin and the Russian government, with whom Senator Rand has a long and documented history.
But if we’re to cripple a national security agency for the sake of Russia, then at least we can smile at the fact that it comes at the expense of LaRose’s neverending ambition.
It’s a fair trade.
The Pitbull Attorney doesn’t seem to have a sterling reputation in the Toledo legal community
My excitement to get back on Capitol Square lasted for about 30 seconds on Tuesday, when I found myself in the Primary and Secondary Education Committee hearing, listening to State Rep. Joshua Williams (R-Sylvania) badger a woman concerned about the proliferation of the billionaire-backed LifeWise Academy.
A friend pointed out to me afterward that Williams, who, amongst all odds, is a certified attorney, only plays the lawyer card against witnesses who aren’t lawyers.
Williams never has that kind of puffy energy when it comes to witnesses who also have law degrees, and it seems to be an attitude that he carries into the court room in Toledo.
Williams is a 2.3-star attorney according to his rating on Advolawyer.com:
It’s refreshing to read something like that from other lawyers because Williams is treated as the heir-apparent to State Senator Gavarone’s seat on Capitol Square.
At least his political ascension appears to come at the cost of his law career.
This week in Ohio Man…
There is nothing I love more than township drama among neighbors! However, if you paint oblique messages on your house, it’s probably fair to expect neighbors to question your sanity.
From James Pilcher of wkyc.com:
PIERCE TOWNSHIP, Ohio (WKRC) - Mike and Lisa Wiggins have taken their grievances against neighbors and Pierce Township leaders to court, filing a lawsuit alleging slander, libel, and harassment.
The couple is seeking unspecified compensatory and punitive damages.
"The only reason I'm doing this, me and my wife, is because I'm tired of what she's been through and I'm tired of what I've been through," Mike Wiggins said. "I'm tired of being picked on and falsely accused of stuff and this is the only way to stop it."
"I feel like we're being run out by our neighbors. I'm suing my neighbors because of the harassment, the lies, and all the charges they have brought upon us," said Lisa Wiggins.
Hopefully, the Wiggins family isn’t paying too much for their lawyer because it’s highly unlikely they will see any money in a libel and slander lawsuit.
But maybe they can pay the Pitbull Attorney to ruffle his feathers and shake a few pennies loose in a settlement?
This week in The Rooster…
It was a busy week at Rooster Worldwide LLC, publishing five communiqués to keep subscribers abreast of the deteriorating nature of our state politics:
What could go wrong? Akron and Summit County Democrats shit the bed, Trump increased margins in Springfield and Clark County, Sleepy Tea eyes Vatican ambassadorship, and why I believe Sherrod Brown will run for Senate again in 2026.
Let’s lame duck, binch! The house of horrors that is the Lame Duck Session kicks off on Capitol Square with some nefarious bills that caught my eye, as well as some gossip about State Senator Theresa Gavarone (R-Hell) possibly earning ann appointment to the United States Senate.
The slaughterhouse never sleeps. State Rep. Brian Lampton hits The Bust Up List, the Bathroom Bill gets priority, the latest intel on the Speaker's race, Vivek Ramaswamy exits the Senate appointment race, and more.
Whispers on the Wind. The latest Senate appointment gossip (enter Treasurer Robert Sprague) and some names floated for leadership under the reign of potential House Speaker Matt Huffman (R-Lima) who, in my opinion, is a domestic terrorist.
The arrogance of it all. State Rep. Bill Roemer unloads on a nana, State Senator Stephanie Kunze appears to spit on six deaths, and it seems Jane Timken will earn the appointment to the United States Senate, with Governor Sleepy Tea heading to the Vatican and Jon Husted earning the field promotion to governor.
Given the ongoing Lame Duck Session, subscribers should also expect five dispatches in their mailbox next week.
THOSE WMDS. My monster tenant… The Taylor Swift Holiday House scandal… The Invisible Man: A firsthand account of homelessness in America… The liberal fantasy is just that… A West Virginia police chief accused of paying $100 to rape a teen—and then trying to cover it up.
Brown and Ryan need to get the message and retire to whatever lobbying industries they already owe their careers to, Tim seemed to have gotten the memo…
Give us Nina Turner, or someone else with some heart for once.