Rooster in Review: Shirts & stickers are on their way
They're in the hands of the patriots at the United Postal Service now.
The long national nightmare that was giving away free stickers and shirts to loyal members of President Xi Jinping’s Patriots Caucus is finally over.
All the loot from last month’s giveaway was dropped into a mailbox shortly after this dispatch arrived in your mailbox. If you entered the contest and don’t get your loot by this time next week, please respond to any Rooster email, and I’ll ship you a new batch, no problem.
If you would like to purchase your three Rooster stickers, please Venmo me any sum greater than $1, and I’ll get those out to you this weekend as well.
As always, thanks for reading The Rooster. The Patriots Caucus is flying at historic heights thanks to readers just like you.
This week in Ohio Man….
During the Cold War, American spooks had a policy that alleged incidents weren’t true unless the Soviet government denied they happened.
It’s a policy I apply to almost every Ohio official at this stage in my life, including the man getting paid for a futile attempt to keep disgraced former Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder out of federal prison.
From Laura A. Bischoff and Jessie Balmert of dispatch.com:
The trial of former Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder and ex-Ohio Republican Party leader Matt Borges was canceled Friday because Householder was sick.
The federal trial will continue Tuesday after the Presidents Day holiday. Householder's attorney Steven Bradley said his client did not have COVID-19.
This is the third time the trial has been delayed because of illness. In the previous two cases, two jurors tested positive for COVID-19.
Householder not having COVID is exactly what his attorney would say if his client caught COVID.
And maybe Householder doesn’t have COVID. I don’t know that he does. I’m just saying, Householder dying in the middle of his RICO trial because he was unvaccinated against the novel coronavirus would be the most Ohio ending possible to the HB-6 saga.
Read Householder’s demented Google Reviews and ask yourself if this is a guy who stayed current on his vaccinations through a pandemic he never took seriously in the first place. We’re not talking about a generational luminary.
This week in The Rooster
East Palestine is what the future looks like. Every level of government failed residents.
Juan Cespedes and the cost of not getting caught early. Cespedes and I both did dumb shit in college. But thankfully, the consequences of my actions taught me at an early age that a life of crime wasn’t for me.
Derek Merrin thought Bill Seitz was dead. He was wrong. Merrin speaks on the time he kicked Seitz and other House Republicans out of their leadership office four days before Christmas.
Hidden hobgoblins make the government go. Rex Elsass is the type of gremlin you never hear much about.