Rooster in Review: Thank God It's Friday
It's Blind Friday. If you work too hard, you'll go blind. Better not risk it.
Everybody who Venmo’d me or received a “Winner!” email in response to a contest should have their Rooster stickers by now. I say should because sometimes the patriots at the United States Postal Service take their time to deliver first-class mail. No hate from me here!
However, if you meet those qualifications and haven’t received your sticker, please respond to this email with your address, and I’ll drop it in the mail on Monday.
As always, thank you for your readership of The Rooster. If you’re not yet a member of President Xi Jinping’s Patriots Caucus, please consider a welcome offer of 15% off the subscription price forever.
This week's proceeds will be donated to my friend Greg’s medical and burial costs.
This week in Ohio Man….
Listen… I’ve been to Meigs County. It’s, uh, an interesting place. I’m not bashing it; I grew up in Marion, so it doesn’t take much to impress me. However, I’m not surprised that a man tried to murder his mother at her grandparents’ grave in Meigs County. Take that how you want.
From Jessica Patterson of foxnews8.com:
According to Meigs County Prosecuting Attorney James K. Stanley, David Shuler, 20, of Chauncey, Ohio, will spend 11 to 16.5 years in prison for attempted murder, the maximum sentence for the charge.
The prosecuting attorney’s office says the charge stems from an incident on Aug. 25, 2021, where Shuler went to his mother’s home and woke her between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. He then told her he wanted to talk about a personal matter at another location and drove her in her vehicle to Salem Center Cemetery where her grandparents are buried.
Court documents say while hugging his mother at the gravesite just before 4 a.m., Shuler shot her in the abdomen with a pistol. He then shot her in the back as she fled toward the vehicle, according to Stanley. The prosecuting attorney’s office says as the victim began to drive away, Shuler got in the vehicle and took the keys.
Wow, you have to be a different kind of loser if you can’t even ambush your mother at 4 a.m. in a graveyard. Now he has to explain that story for the next 11 to 16.5 years in prison—what a dolt.
This week in The Rooster…
A Park with No Bike Parking is No Park at All. Schiller Park has everything a good park should have… except dedicated bike parking.
Gannett Makes You Call Their Bullshit Hotline to Cancel Your Dispatch Subscription. It’s hard to support the last vestiges of local journalism when its parent company engages in billing practices worthy of two(!) class action lawsuits.
The Men Who Killed My Friend Should Turn Themselves In. Chrystian Foster and Dwayne Cummings’ lives as they know it are over. That doesn’t mean there must be more tragedy in an already tragic story.
Who the Hell Wants to Work at Kroger Anyway? The union voted last night to authorize a strike.
Just Build the Damn Bike Lanes Already. Columbus leaders are once again drowning in bureaucracy on a very simple issue.
As always, be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter for all of Ohio’s insanity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. The vindication of cheese, butter and full-fat milk… Recreating “ghost neighborhoods” destroyed by highways… When you can’t stand the sound of chewing… The everyday, eco-friendly actions that save you money at home… What the hell is going on with Kanye West’s new private school?
Thank you for the sticker!