The Rooster's June Mailbag
Answering the readership's burning questions in the summer heat.
Welcome to the June Mailbag, the monthly installment of answering the readership’s most burning questions.
As always, some questions have been lightly edited for grammar, syntax and clarity.
Questions come in bold with my responses in standard text.
Why do you not go after any of the staff?
Staff aren’t civilians. But it depends on which staff you refer.
I’ve gone after staff before—like that time Frank LaRose fired his longtime spokesperson, Rob Nichols, after The Rooster exposed his anti-Trump sentiment on a burner Twitter account.
But generally speaking, the Statehouse is filled with young adults fresh out of college, not making a livable wage and being treated like human furniture by their bosses.
The threshold is higher with staff. But if you know something nefarious, the Dirt Box is always open for that information.
If you could only get one win, either Acton or Brown, who would you choose?
This question is unfair! And I don’t like it.
But it all depends on whether Democrats retake the United States Senate. To do that, Sherrod Brown must defeat Senator Jon Husted, who has an embalmed gerbil where his brain is supposed to be.
Donald Trump is a unique and malignant force in America. Retaking the Senate wouldn’t solve every problem with his administration of clowns, but it would serve as a massive check on his agenda.
But please note that I’m making this choice with tears streaming down my face, which is often mistaken for famous actor Brad Pitt. Electing Vivek Ramaswamy as governor would be nothing short of a disaster for Ohio.
Surprised no data center deal with all the hullabaloo, any details on why things fell apart at the last minute?
Anna Staver of cleveland.com reports that former governor John “No. 1 Asshole” Kasich secretly signed a 40-year deal exempting data center conglomerates from sales tax, which threw a wrench into the last 24 hours of negotiation.
My understanding is that it was House Republicans, not Senate Republicans, that killed the deal. House Republicans couldn’t break 48 votes. They could probably have gotten three Democrats on board because of a couple of good things in an otherwise tepid bill, but they don’t move bills without 50 Republicans.
And frankly, we thank them! The data center issue won’t be going away any time soon, especially with PJM set to raise electrical rates before the election.
DJ, even as a Republican, I can appreciate your work and how you hold everyone accountable. What I don’t understand is your view on communism or making Maoist t-shirts. Could you explain why so many millennials think being a communist is cool when Mao is directly responsible for over 50 million deaths?
I appreciate the kind words and value my non-insignificant Republican readership, which I think stems from my not being a partisan hack.
We didn’t grow up during the Cold War, so communism wasn’t drilled into us as a boogeyman by government and pop culture.
The root of all evils—the exploding wealth inequality which only seems to benefit the worst people alive—happened under capitalism.
I don’t know if I have any Millennial friends who would describe communism as “cool.” The concept of social democracy, as expoused by the likes of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, is a different matter, though a social democrat is well within the political mainstream of every other country in the world not burdened by a two-party system.
As for the shirt… my friend sent it to me as a joke after my arrest. Say what you want about the communists, but it’s a cool aesthetic, which led me to commission the Chairman Rooster shirt on sale now.
I ordered a shirt from Supporter Supply. What does the text read on my Chairman Rooster shirt?
“Best Dick Under the Sky,” as translated by my friend’s Chinese wife. As explained by him:
Lao Er (老二） is colloquial Chinese slang for dick. But is also used as homie in some contexts.
Tian Xia Di Yi (天下第一) is the most poetic way to say the best under the son.
But any Chinese four letter phrase that uses a numeric structure like “something one, something else two” is haiku level reverence. So number one (第一）
And dick (老二) is a common taunt on the court after you get shook.
But throwing dick on the end of a poetic phrase for best under the sun is top notch poetic vulgarity. So it works on about a thousand levels.
The more you know!
I wish we had someone like you in Cincinnati. Lots of tail-wags-dog sports arena subsidy bullshit.
It’s a common problem! But Cleveland and Cincinnati would be ripe for a similar business model. What I do can be replicated easily with dedication.
What are the odds that the Ohio Legislature will do a “North Carolina” on Dr. Acton if she wins the Gubernatorial election?
You can take that to the bank.
He would never admit it in public, but I believe Speaker Matt Huffman would prefer Dr. Acton to win in November, even if he loses his supermajority in the chamber.
He would become the most powerful Republican in Ohio, which is what he’s addicted to. And he could unite his caucus around Acton and consolidate more power in the legislature.
What is the best sandwich you’ve had in the Columbus metro area?
