Shannon Hardin never saw the out-of-pocket honkey comin'

Shannon Hardin, like every other machine politician in this city, has no juice.

Most of you are probably expecting, as previewed yesterday, a follow-up to Monday’s expose behind Cincinnati Mayor Aftab Pureval’s latest disasterclass. The Rooster is calling an audible. That post will be Wednesday.

Today is about Columbus City Council President Shannon Hardin, who originally earned his power by being the son of a former longtime aide to Mayor Michael Coleman, who you might remember for banging a Chinese spy in his car somewhere in Columbus while under FBI surveillance.

Hardin joined the council in 2014 and became president in 2018 and will be the next mayor whenever Mayor Suburbs either retires to become a lobbyist like Coleman or the FBI arrests him for garden-variety corruption.

Hardin would already be running against Ginther, a suburbanite that nobody actually likes, this fall if he also weren’t himself a suburbanite that nobody actually likes.

I put applied to speak yesterday at 11:13 a.m. under my international alias Juan Harding and a fake group called Concerned Columbus Citizens.

Then, on a whim, I walked to Tommy’s Diner. You’ll never believe who I saw at 12:30 p.m.!

Columbus City Council president Shannon Hardin (left) and Mayor Suburbs (right) enjoying a five-star meal at Tommy’s Diner, a locally owned institution that you should patronize when given the chance. The Rooster respects the “Tommy’s Truce.”

Shannon Hardin and Mayor Suburbs—in the flesh. I moved back from Piqua in 2019 and have never seen Hardin outside that other time I bombed on City Council, albeit as a broken-down alcoholic nearing a crossroads in his life.

Mayor Ginther, I have never seen anywhere. And I have dreamed about the day of catching him in public to give him a piece of my mind about how he governs.

But Tommy’s Diner is my favorite restaurant in Columbus. It’s a community, and it’s an institution in the Franklinton neighborhood. I will never in my life disrespect the sanctity of that space. I didn’t even linger in the parking lot like a pervert to catch them TMZ-style, as would have been my right as an American citizen.

Hardin saw me. And it wasn’t the look of a long-lost friend, either. I’m not sure if Suburbs ever learned of my presence. Probably not.

I’d like Hardin’s people to know that I would have much rather focused my anger at Mayor Suburbs, who put out an equally shambolic statement of the death of Tyre Nichols in Memphis.

But you can’t roll into the Mayor’s office like you can the city council president’s. That’s the bane of the position. While Mayor Suburbs gets to play golf with donors and his cop flunkies, Shannon has to catch heat from geeks of the street like me.

And catch the heat he did last night.

The Rooster @rooster_ohio

How will anything ever change @SG_Hardin if you won't even say the word police? RIP to Tyre Nichols.

Hardin thought he had me with his smug “your time is over” at the end there, but little did he know I’ve been zinging losers like him since I was 13 battling grown-ass men on EverQuest forums. He was small change to me.

Did Hardin learn anything? Well, it’s Columbus, so that’s never the case:

Tyler Buchanan @Tylerjoelb

In other news from today's City Council meeting:

Hardin got pepper-sprayed for clout to make people think he was on the side of protestors during the 2020 George Floyd uprisings. It was an okey doke operation because he didn’t think anybody would have the audacity to throw the photo-op back in his face years later. He expected it to just be something he could hang on the wall in his office about that time he did something, which stands in contrast to the rest of his career where he hasn’t done much at all.

I do not do this stuff because I think I will storm out and they will all turn to each other, suddenly enlightened, and say, “We should make that guy the mayor!” Though I would gladly accept their offer if they ever grow some shame.

I do it to show people that these politicians have no real power. It’s all an illusion. They’re used to breezing through friendly rooms, never having to face any tough questioning. Never being pushed out of their comfort zone.

Hardin has no actual skills as a politician other than attending cocktail parties with his political allies and their common donors. That’s it! He’s never had to campaign a day in his life. He’s never had to knock on doors. He’s never had to actually work for it.

That’s why Hardin and his cronies erected the barriers to electoral success so high in the first place. Council, behind their illusion of power, is nothing more than a room of mediocre people pleasers who smell crazy.

We deserve a better class of politicians in this city. Maybe one day that will no longer be a minority opinion in this city. Until then, the fight continues.

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