Sorry, Nana, the Golden Idol Wants Blood
Sorry, Nana, the Golden Idol Wants Blood
Meanwhile, Larry Householder attempts to neuter a potential political foe.
I have the above Soviet propaganda poster framed and hanging in my living room. I don’t speak Russian, but I’m told it says “The Golden Idol of World Capitalism.”
What I love about it is you don’t need to understand Russian to get the point.
Show it to any “low-wage” worker and they will instantly understand: The boss makes a dollar while I make the dime. You can work your whole life for a company, literally until the day you die, and your boss will have someone on half your salary at your desk on Monday.
The past two weeks have crystallized the rot at the center of the country. We do not need the ultra-wealthy — they’re too busy refusing to answer how they acquire coronavirus tests while squirreling away in bunkers replete with bowling alleys.
Outside of doctors and nurses, the people we depend on are truck drivers, grocery stockers, janitors, short-order cooks, delivery drivers, etc.
You know, the kind of jobs pre-COVID that Americans would have said weren’t worthy of a living wage and healthcare benefits.
Our great stonk market — we love the stonk market, don’t we folks? — pulled the emergency brake last week while traveling 110 mph down the highway while coked out of its mind on corporate buybacks and CEO bonuses.
Within a week, the economic engine in which 50% of Americans don’t partake lost all the gains it saw since we elected President Business Deals, a failed vodka and steak salesman, to run our country like a business.
A week later, we’re teetering on total economic collapse because us plebes can’t go to the bar and watch the big game. Truly the sign of a normal, healthy economy.
President Business Deals is a dumb-ass narcissist. For all his boorish ignorance, I’ll concede the man possesses low animal cunning. Much like a rabid raccoon caught in the bottom of a trashcan eating garbage, Business Deals has a keen instinct for survival.
He was already historically weak for a sitting president with sub-4% unemployment. His re-election odds would basically be non-existent if the economy keeps crashing like it is.
The problem for Trump is the social distancing required to beat coronavirus will inevitably hurt the economy. I haven’t spent a one cent in six days, something I don’t think I’ve done since I was actually posting from my mother’s basement as a grounded high school sophomore due to that time an undercover cop in a Brett Favre jersey pinched me for underage drinking at a 50 Cent concert at the old Polaris Amphitheater.
Late Sunday night, coincidentally after COVID shuttered six of the most profitable seven hotels and resorts in his shitty empire, Business Deals smashed his caps lock key and tweeted that he was thinking of making a blood sacrifice to get the market back into gear.
Trump is alluding to herd immunity, in which means the disease would be allowed to run rampant and our most vulnerable citizens would die. On the upshot, after hundreds of thousands or millions of deaths, the survivors would have immunity quicker than if we waited on the development of a vaccine.
The United Kingdom tried this approach, much to the horror of the international community. It went down in shambles and they altered their course six days ago.
Yesterday, Prime Minister Boris Johnson — think of him as a posher, slightly more lucid version of Business Deals with equally terrible hair — placed the nation on lockdown with police fining those who didn’t obey orders.
Don’t take my word for it. Listen to the man who should be our president right now but was conspicuously absent from yesterday’s press conference after failing to fellate the Business Deals’ all-knowing mind in multiple interviews.
That didn’t stop Business Deals from turning another coronavirus presser into a lightweight political rally beamed into millions of homes via our decadent cable news systems:
To be clear: President Business Deals cannot end social distancing. Those decisions are made by governors and health departments.
What’s perturbing is Deals wasn’t lying when he said he could shoot a man on Fifth Avenue and not lose a vote.
If he wants to “send the country back to work,” in a week, his stooges are more than willing to let that happen:
I assume like all Republicans, aging Baby Boomers played a major role in Dan Patrick’s election. Wild to see him advocate for their genocide.
It also ignores that Baby Boomers wouldn’t even surrender 5% of their wealth in taxes to help the younger generations. I’m skeptical they’ll be willing to end their life so we can claim 2% gains in the GDP or whatever.
I probably shouldn’t underestimate the mindset of Republicans, though. There were Russian peasants who refused to say a bad word about Joseph Stalin, their dear leader, even though they were forced to turn to cannibalism after rampant plagues wiped out Soviet wheat supplies.
It’s hard to see a difference. Even their low-level stooges yearn for economic genocide while trying to become a disease vector themselves:
It’s not a joke when I say I hope this man contracts coronavirus on his ill-fated trip to Fort Lauderdale, which will soon be on the of the nation’s hottest spots for coronavirus outbreak because their governor, Ron DeSantis, is a craven dipshit who refuses to act in any meaningful way despite his state being filled with tourists from all over the world and retirees.
Moreno might want to take a look at Washington, a state with an alleged progressive governor who acted aggressively against coronavirus but failed to free incarcerated people from the viral death trap of jail:
Twelve inmates escaped, and police are still looking for six of them.
Wealthy politicians should take note of how human beings act when they have nothing to lose. That will be about 100 million of us next week if Business Deals and his flunkies try to end social distancing and send us to slaughter at the altar of the Golden Idol of Capitalism.
For as much shit as I talk about the Baby Boomers, they deserve dignity in their golden years. They didn’t work their whole lives to spend their last years indoors while the world continues around them unimpeded, unable to even receive visits from friends or family without risking infection and death.
If that’s the way the country goes, I’m out of here. I’ll re-book my flight to Cuba and figure it out down there. Surely even a Cuban gulag would be more mentally stimulating than sitting inside my house all day while half the country pretends germs aren’t real.
ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON LARRY HOUSEHOLDER
As I warned yesterday, a pandemic is a great time for the worst people in the world to advance the most nefarious parts of their hidden political agenda while the world looks the other way.
Today’s swamp creature is Ohio House Speaker Larry Householder, who was probably the most powerful politician in the state until Mike DeWine took his crown back with coronavirus response.
It looks like torpedoing DeWine isn’t Householder’s only concern. This fall, Franklin County voters could oust longtime Republican prosecutor Ron O’Brien, a boot-licking “tough on crime” jackass that thankfully isn’t as good as murdering people as he thinks he is.
The Franklin County prosecutor’s office, however, is one of the most powerful in the state considering it has jurisdiction over the Statehouse. Ohio Republicans have gotten away with wanton corruption because they know O’Brien is too busy trying to throw the book at poor people.
President Business Deals being at the top of the ticket in 2020 could spell bad news for O’Brien. A Democratic prosecutor is something Statehouse Republicans have never had to dealt with. Apparently it’s not something they want to deal with, either.
From Andrew J. Tobias of cleveland.com:
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Ohio lawmakers are considering changing how public corruption cases are prosecuted as part of a larger emergency coronavirus relief bill they’re planning to take up this week.
“The accused may better prepare a defense at home as opposed to Columbus,” reads summary language of the proposed provision, distributed to Ohio House members as part of a larger package that’s under consideration to be included in the eventual bill. "This amendment would place venue and jurisdiction in the county of the residence of the accused. But the accused would have the right to transfer venue and jurisdiction to the county where the alleged conduct occurred.”
Often, state legislators facing corruption charges are tried in Franklin County, since that’s where bribery and other offenses often take place, according to Tony Bledsoe, Ohio’s legislative inspector general.
This would allow somebody like Householder, who lost his last Speakership due to an FBI investigation, to move his trial back to Perry County, where he is undoubtedly politically connected in a region that has inflicted him upon Columbus numerous times.
Surprisingly, Senate President Larry Obhof, who has been cucked by Householder on numerous occasions in the last two years, doesn’t seem interested in helping his rival escape prosecution if it ever came to that.
I’ll never call the FBI in my life, but they might be reading due to my political activities. If they are, I would ask them why do you think Householder tried to inject this language into a coronavirus response bill? It’s almost like he has something to hide…
OHIO UNEMPLOYMENT WEBSITE WORKING AS INTENDED
President Business Deals asked states to stop releasing unemployment claims, and Ohio has complied. Here’s what those numbers looked like last week:
Not great, man! Yet such is the price of protecting public health. The economic impact wouldn’t have been nearly catastrophic if Ohio had a strong social safety net. We don’t. We spent the last 40 years shredding it and making life harder to claim unemployment benefits. Our unemployment fund was kept at a “dangerously” low level.
Not that the pandemic gripped our economy, the surge of claims has overwhelmed our state’s shitty unemployment claims portal that was designed in the first place to make sure as few workers filed a claim as possible.
The result is predictable.
From Chris Anderson and Hannah Catlett of cleveland.com:
“This system was not built for a crisis,' Ohio Lt. Gov. John Husted said during a press conference on Monday.
As of 3:30 p.m., the online unemployment filing system was still down, but Husted said that state workers were attempting to get the website restored.
Some of the Ohioans most desperate for help say no one had been listening when they were trying to point out problems.
After days of asking the unemployment office what we should tell people reaching out to us with problems, the office finally acknowledges issues exist.
Janae Kinney says she spent hours on the unemployment site Sunday.
“I spent literally my whole day yesterday trying to file my unemployment,” she said Monday.
Guys like Mike DeWine and Jon Husted don’t have to worry about it, but rent is due in eight days, and workers who were laid off (to no fault of their own!) can’t even file a claim on our shitty little site.
JESUS CHRIST, SITTENFIELD! PEOPLE WILL DIE BEFORE NOVEMBER 3RD
Cincinnati City Council President P.G. Sittenfield, a man who aspires to be the next Queen City Mayor, posted on Facebook during Business Deals’ bizarre press conference in a way that offers insight into the mind of the typical establishment Democrat.
The situation is much more grave than one election. Tens of thousands of Americans won’t survive through November at this rate as we are on track to be worse than Iran.
Beating Trump is just the start. It won’t cure the deep moral rot in this country that led to him in the first place.
Not to mention, the Democratic frontrunner disappeared after last Tuesday’s victory speech.
While Bernie Sanders retooled his historic grassroots fundraising army into raising $2 million for coronavirus response and chatting with the country via livestream, Biden’s team claimed his absence during the worst financial crisis in our nation’s history was because his house ceilings were too high(???) to live stream.
Biden’s team also claimed the Vice President spent the last five days meeting with virus experts from around the world to formulate his intended response. Yesterday, he returned to the public eye in a pre-taped speech that was so bad I can’t believe Biden’s team actually released it:
See the pixelation around his elbows and hands? Biden is standing in front of a green screen. He’s also wearing the same clothes he wore during Tuesday’s victory speech.
Am I saying that Joe Biden contracted coronavirus and his team has him tucked away in a hospital somewhere? No. I’m just saying that I’ve seen no evidence that Joe Biden actually isn’t in a hospital. The man speaks in platitudes and never offers specifics. I’m sick of his horseshit.
Watch that video again. This is a multimillion-dollar establishment candidate reappearing in public for the first time in a week during a national crisis, and this was the best they could do? Yikes.
Sorry to Sittenfield. I’m not sure our nation’s cure is coming on November 3rd no matter who wins the election. We’re going to have work to do either way.
THOSE WMDs. While Fox News downplayed the coronavirus threat, Rupert Murdoch moved to protect himself… Dispatches from Italy: Class struggle during the coronavirus… Drinking during the quarantine: Entire days are slipping away… Spit on, yelled at, attacked: Chinese-Americans fear for their safety.