Planet of the Apes
Legislative Republicans can't even be bothered to wear a mask in crowded indoor spaces.
It’s been a harrowing week watching a large swath of the electorate decide they were bored with social distancing as the number of coronavirus cases and deaths continue to rise every day.
The most infuriating part is we could have had our lives back by now if half the country hadn’t decided to seek medical advice from Facebook and conservative sports bloggers.
I could be committing treason in Cuba right now. Instead I’m losing the last shards of my sanity over this story about Baltimore Ravens safety Earl Thomas. Did y’all see this last night? Probably not on account of having families and real jobs.
I’m baffled by how horny a man has to be to cheat on his wife in an orgy with brother, who is also ass-naked for some unholy reason only known to Satan himself, at an AirBnB during a pandemic.
That’s only the start, too.
From our nation’s paper of record, TMZ.com:
Nina claims Earl, 30, left their home earlier in the day after an argument over the NFL player's drinking. She claims Earl's brother, Seth Thomas, picked him up.
But, a short time later, she decided to check on his whereabouts by logging into his Snapchat account -- and that's when she says she found video of Earl with another woman.
Nina says she used Earl's Snapchat account to track his location to a nearby Airbnb rental home ... and says she called up two other women to help her confront Earl at the pad. Nina also claims she grabbed Earl's pistol, a 9mm Berreta, in the process with the intention to "scare him."
Word of advice: Never take a gun to a confrontation for any other reason than to shoot someone dead. If you’re not ready to accept the ramifications of that act, do yourself a favor and leave the glock at home before you catch an accidental manslaughter charge.
Mrs. Thomas almost learned that lesson the hard way when she was unaware about the fabled “bullet in the chamber” before pointing a loaded gun (with her finger on the trigger and the safety off) at her husband’s head.
Gotta hand it to Thomas for this one. Had I read a blind item about a jilted football wife hacking her 30-year-old husband’s Snap account and grokking geographic data to find him naked in bed with his brother and strange women, I would have without a doubt expected the Cleveland Browns to be involved.
HOUSE REPUBLICANS TIRED OF LISTENING TO SOUND MEDICAL ADVICE FROM KINDLY DOCTOR TRYING TO SAVE THEIR LIVES
Dr. Amy Acton is the one state official I have absolute confidence is competent at her job. For a magical month, Ohio led the country’s response to coronavirus. It sure as hell wasn’t DeWine leading the way.
The New York Times produced a video this week about Acton. It turns out Americans like knowledgeable, empathetic leaders with a knack for discussing complex ideas in layman’s terms.
Not every American, though! Sadly in 2020 it’s no surprise to see fringe right-wing protests outside her house featuring assault rifles and anti-Semitic signs.
In Ohio, the fringe elements have viable political power. Acton’s opponents in the Ohio House — all of them Republicans without any medical credentials — tried to flex their muscle yesterday by clipping Acton’s wings via legislation.
Rep. Jon Cross (R-Kenton), last seen promoting the unfounded conspiracy theory that China unleashed coronavirus as a bioweapon, sponsored a bill that almost passed along party lines.
From Seth A. Richardson of cleveland.com:
CLEVELAND, Ohio – House Republicans on Wednesday moved to strip Ohio Department of Health Director Dr. Amy Acton’s authority to issue lasting state orders, a direct attack on Republican Gov. Mike DeWine and his response to the coronavirus pandemic.
House Republicans amended and passed a 2019 regulatory reform bill that would limit health department orders to 14 days. Under the amended Senate Bill 1, an order could only be extended if it receives approval from the Joint Committee on Agency Rule Review.
If JCARR, a 10-member panel of five House and Senate members from both political parties, declines to approve the order – or even act on it – it would be rescinded immediately. It gives anybody the ability to sue to rescind a health order without having to show they were harmed by the health order.
Thankfully the House GOP won’t have the votes to override Mike DeWin’s veto, so we won’t have to worry about Sen. Andy Brenner, last seen equating a Jewish doctor to Hitler on Holocaust Remembrance Day, have sway over the decisions of Dr. Acton.
Votes like these are insightful in showing which Republicans are sweating a General Election:
Their opponents, if you’re looking for Statehouse candidates to support:
Monique Smith in HD16
Zach Stepp in HD55
Other Republicans with fights on their hands that chose to tow the party line:
Seems like residents of these districts could have more responsive legislators.
Good thing they have options in November. You can donate as little as $5 to any of these candidates and it will be money well spent:
Laurel Johnson in HD3
Nancy Day-Achauer in HD23
Sara Bitter in HD27
Dr. Rachael Morocco in HD67
Alexis Miller in HD89
Will all of them win? Probably not. Such is the nature of the gerrymandered beast in Ohio. But even if one of them wins, it will be a boon for Ohio in that it will reduce the sway of House Speaker Larry Householder, who as best I can tell is doing his best trying to catch coronavirus by remaining as ignorant as possible about the virus:
This is the level of political discourse in America. Even the concept as rudimentary as wearing a mask to combat an infectious disease without a vaccine is seen as “virtue signaling” from the right-wing.
Householder is 61 years old. He is clearly not in peak physical condition. Coronavirus would open in Vegas as (-3000) against his lungs.
Instead the No. 3 most-powerful person in state government and his crew of neanderthals can’t be bothered to wear a mask while hanging out in crowded indoor spaces with colleagues who also go home to their loved ones at night.
He apparently thinks he doesn’t need to wear a mask in Columbus because he’s from a county of 36,000 people. It’s dumb as hell, which makes it no surprise most Ohioans aren’t wearing masks in public places either.
Hard to project a future for America if we can’t even be bothered to wear a cloth mask in public for the safety of one another for a couple of months.
That this qualifies as leadership should embarrass Ohioans. It’s not leadership. It’s a grown man throwing a tantrum because he lost political juice during a pandemic.
P.G. SITTENFIELD HAS A GOOD IDEA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE
Perhaps you have spent your pandemic ordering takeout via one of the many delivery apps owned by tech gremlins in San Francisco.
Well, I’m here to tell you those apps are trash. They don’t properly compensate their drivers and they siphon all the profits from the restaurant.
A solution to rectify this problem in Cincinnati has come from an unlikely place: The mind of P.G. Sittenfield.
From Jennifer Edwards Baker of fox19.com:
CINCINNATI (FOX19) - A Cincinnati city council member plans to announce new legislation Wednesday capping what he calls “exorbitant commission rates” food-delivery companies charge to restaurants at 15%.
P.G. Sittenfeld says this follows similar legislation in Seattle, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.
“Our local restaurants are part of the character and soul of our city, not to mention the thousands of jobs they provide. And they have been getting crushed as a result of this pandemic," Sittenfeld said in a prepared statement.
“We need to give them a fighting chance to survive, which includes capping the exorbitant rates - sometimes as high as 30 percent - that national delivery companies are charging.”
This is the kind of legislation Democrats can use to bridge the gap with sensible small business owners. There is no reason why cities should tolerate a cartel of tech gremlins running the pockets of local restaurants and workers.
This is also a good reminder to order from the restaurant directly if you can. Or perhaps cook at home for once in your life. It’s not that hard.
SHERROD BROWN TAKES THE EASY WAY OUT
Joe Biden stands credibly accused of digitally penetrating a former Senate staffer back in 1993. He has vehemently denied this allegation, which would mean a lot more if there weren’t numerous other allegations of sexual misconduct or if he hadn’t spent his career lying about things much more bizarre and trivial than an allegation that could cost him his final swing at an office he’s dreamed about since at least 1988.
I believe Tara Reade, his accuser. Perhaps you don’t. Or perhaps you do but still plan to vote for Biden on account of the orange man being bad.
Then there’s Senator Sherrod Brown. Living in Ohio, he’s about as good as we could hope for a representative to an institution as reactionary as the Senate.
It’s still disheartening to see him cop out when asked about the allegations against Joe Biden.
From Darrel Rowland of dispatch.com:
Sen. Sherrod Brown is still voting for Joe Biden, but the Ohio Democrat won’t say whether he believes the account of a woman who has accused the former vice president of sexual impropriety or Biden’s denial.
“It’s not up to me on whom to believe, it’s up to the voters ultimately whom to believe,” Brown said on his weekly call with reporters. “Just like it’s up to the voters on whom to believe when Donald Trump paid off strippers and Donald Trump had all his issues, including grabbing women.
“I just think it’s kind of amazing that Republicans think this is an issue they want to make something of, as if their candidate is on some a high moral plane.”
If it’s up to the voters to decide — then how are the myriad of sexual misconduct allegations against Donald Trump relevant considering voters already rendered a verdict on those?
Moral questions should not be left to the voters. Sixty-three million of us elected to run the country like a business and look where that got us.
You either believe women or you believe women unless they accuse one of your friends. If Brown doesn’t believe Reade, he should say so instead of trying some mealy-mouthed bullshit before pointing out the Republicans also elected a geriatric rapist with dementia to run the country.
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