The president is a pedophile

In this business, you have to know how to hit.

Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal delivered the most damning evidence yet that a pedophile governs America.

For me, the debate ended in September 2024, when Trump, who had appeared in several videos and photographs with Jeffrey Epstein during his life, immediately backtracked after agreeing to declassify the Epstein files among a host of other historical documents:

Anyone honest with themselves after 30 seconds of research into Trump’s history knows that he only cares about himself, and perhaps his daughter when he’s thinking about fucking her.

In that clip, he’s talking about himself when he mentions the “phony stuff” that could “affect people’s lives.” But that’s just one man’s opinion.

The Wall Street Journal cemented those suspicions with an article about all the rich freaks—like New Albany’s pint-sized thong salesman, Leslie Wexner—compiling a book of birthday wishes for a man that went on to become the most infamous dead pedophile in world history.

A future president also penned one of the letters.

The letter bearing Trump's name, which was reviewed by the Journal, is bawdy-like others in the album. It contains several lines of typewritten text framed by the outline of a naked woman, which appears to be hand-drawn with a heavy marker. A pair of small arcs denotes the woman's breasts, and the future president's signature is a squiggly

"Donald" below her waist, mimicking pubic hair.

The letter concludes: "Happy Birthday - and may every day be another wonderful secret."

Trump claimed he had “never written a picture,” which is one of those bafflingly hilarious Trumpisms that only he can manage when being accosted about his decades-long friendship with Epstein.

On one hand, you have to hand it to him on that. Nobody does it like him in that regard.

On the other hand, it was typical Trump bullshit that was quickly debunked thanks to a woman in Ohio—you expected any other state?—who used to auction celebrities’ doodles, including numerous ones from Trump. (He’s pretty good at doodling, if you can believe that.)

These details were damning enough. Anyone familiar with Trump’s signatures over the years can envision that stupid signature of his that’s usually drawn in “heavy marker,” albeit not in place of a naked woman’s pubic hair in a doodle.

But Trump wasn’t satisfied with that creepy gesture. He wanted to drive home how deep their friendship ran.

It isn't clear how the letter with Trump's signature was prepared. Inside the outline of the naked woman was a typewritten note styled as an imaginary conversation between Trump and Epstein, written in the third person.

"Voice Over: There must be more to life than having everything," the note began.

Donald: Yes, there is, but I won't tell you what it is.

Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.

Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.

Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.

Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?

Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.

Trump: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday - and may every day be another wonderful secret.

Well, who amongst us hasn’t written a small screenplay as part of a personal card to an infamous pedophile in which you insinuated you shared a sinister secret?

In retrospect, it should have been over for Trump with the release of the “grab them by the pussy” tape. But because this is America, a 59-year-old man bragging about women “allowing” him to sexually assault them somehow wasn’t a dealbreaker.

And in typical American fashion, this farce has spun wildly out of control to the point we’re canceling Sesame Street and incinerating 496 metric tons of food meant for the world’s poorest populations.

It’s easy to think that, like that famous tweet, Donny Trump will wiggle out of this jam effortlessly, as he has seemingly done every one thrown his way throughout his career as a white-collar criminal.

But Trump can’t live forever. And just because he won 1,000 battles in his life doesn’t guarantee he’ll win the next one.

Yesterday, White House doctors diagnosed Trump with chronic venous insufficiency, which isn’t a big deal as long as he avoids long flights or sitting for hours at a time, which should be easy to do as a 79-year-old president.