The Return of the King
LeBron James once again reminds us that he's the best Ohio has to offer.
LeBron James is the best athlete Ohio has ever produced, and our enemies thought they buried him. Here was a 36-year-old power forward coming off an injury and trying to maintain his magic against a two-time champion in the Golden State Warriors.
“Tweaking” his injured right ankle two days ago would be enough to sideline a man of his stature. And for the first two quarters, it looked like LeBron had finally turned into a pumpkin when the Warriors took a 55-42 lead into the locker room.
Golden State fans no doubt felt their the pendulum had swung back in their favor. Here were the defending champions on the ropes in the play-in game.
But then a funny thing happened. LeBron James, fresh off injury, decided to remind the world why he was The King.
He finished with a triple-double as the Lakers beat the Warriors, 103-100, in a game with a second half never as close as the final score would suggest.
Here was a 36-year-old man returning from an ankle injury to remind us that he is still the greatest force of nature in athletics. That he would be humanity’s best choice for a champion to defend us against an alien invasion.
I am 34 years-old and can’t think of the last time a product from Ohio dominated worldly affairs like The Kid From Akron did. If fellow Ohioans want to quibble against him, that tells more about their worldview than it would ever about LeBron’s.
We are talking about a guy who was on Sports Illustrated’s cover at 16. He had “The Chosen 1” tattooed on his back and somehow has exceeded all expectations while never ending up in the back of a cop car.
There will never be a greater athlete from Ohioan in our lifetime. And probably long after we are dead. Maybe when the aliens eventually invade Earth they’ll have a more impressive specimen but I doubt it.
Who cares if he plays for Los Angeles? The man is from Ohio, and it’s time we support him like we do the Buckeyes and Browns. If you feel differently, well, there’s always time to get right with the Lord before LeBron wins his fifth title.
THOSE WMDs. Europe wants Americans back… The battle for the future of “gig” work… Hundreds of PPP loans went to fake farms in absurd places… The man who didn’t invent Flamin’ Hot Cheetohs… The Decoy Effect: How you’re influenced to choose without really knowing it.
Larbon Jim, The Kang
Ohioans who root against LeBron have a special case of brain poisoning.