The Rooster's Most Read Stories of 2022
Here's what you read most on The Rooster this year.
The haters and losers said The Rooster wouldn’t beat 2021. After all, we only see a run of content like Urban Meyer, Le Papa de Dublin, gave us in October 2021.
Well, the almighty business line did indeed have the first ever drop in this project’s three-year history. Unfortunately for the haters, it was right after the largest windfall in site history.
See that modedest bump that occurs around Nov. 2021? That’s the Dublin Dad. See that Colombian marching powder straight shot to the moon? That’s the No. 1 article in 2022. You can probably guess the one.
The death march trudges on. You can set your watch to that. Without further ado, here are the top 25 stories published by The Rooster in 2022, as determined by number of pageviews:
Columbus’ Ice Cream Queen got rich treating workers like shit.
God dammit, the Crying CEO lives in Columbus.
The sunken tower.
When it all falls down.
Just ask for Lobster Lover Joe.
A sucker punch killed my friend.
Here’s a look at the yearbook where Ohio’s Secretary of State willed a friend “some rope and a tree.”
Sayonara to my best friend and mortal enemy.
The inside scoop on OhioHealth’s layoffs [written by State Senator Niraj Antani (R-Sewer)]
Henry Hoeft stole combat valor to burnish Boogaloo Boi reputation.
Local paper let’s militia freak off the hook, again.
What not drinking for 90 days did for this insane communist blogger?
Haters and losers were right: Exercising, healthy eating and sleep go a long way.
Mary Kay Cabot refuses to deny she’s unvaxxed and watching games from the stands like a fan.
People need to stop saying Tim Ryan ran a “smart” campaign.
City council can take my blunt wraps from my cold, dead hands.
One year later: Down went the Dublin Dad.
What exactly does the Short North think it is?
Ohio goes hog wild.
Tim Ryan walked into a Fox News ambush.
You won’t regret quitting the Cleveland Browns.
If Tim Ryan can’t beat this bum J.D. Vance, a Democrat may never win statewide again.
Only one kind of bias is problematic on the Civilian Review Board.
Meet the Blocks.
That piece about Mary Kay Cabot being an antivaxer who covered games from the rafters like Sting feels like it happened in another lifetime. That was one of many legal threats this year against The Rooster that somehow never materialized.
I thought a lot this year about retiring The Rooster. Or at least pausing billing and only writing when my mood strikes. Some days I feel like I’ve said all there is to say about the corrupt collective of unfuckable kleptocrats that run this poisoned, postindustrial wasteland.
But they ain’t winning this year or the next. The Rooster will continue regular publishing in 2023.
There are a couple of ideas that I will present in the next few days about what that schedule will look like. It might change. It may not. I’ll ultimately make the decision in a much more rational manner than the second-richest man in the world would with his $44 billion investment. So, as an investor in Rooster Worldwide LLC and its many subsequent subsidiaries and shell companies, you have that going for you which is nice.
In the meantime, here are some other stories that, for whatever reason, didn’t satiate the hogs as much as the top 25, but I still thought were worth highlighting in descending order of popularity:
Bus company fails at impersonating tech company.
Euclid’s reality star, polyamorist councilman resides in Florida.
Mike DeWine is the best governor we’ll have for the rest of our lives.
The Rooster’s Christmas Mailbag.
City council wants to give $750,00 to a “start-up” that lets employers spy on workers.
Who is this legislative dipshit? Meet State Rep. “Mean” Jean Schmidt.
Fear and Self-Loathing in Liberty Township: Get a load of these freaks.
Jane Timken: My enemies have small dicks.
How to travel to Cuba as an American.
Who is this legislative dipshit? Meet State Rep. Sarah Fowler Arthur.
As always, thank you for supporting The Rooster. If you’ve considered making the jump, take 50 percent off the subscription price as part of my year-end sale.
And be sure to follow The Rooster on Twitter for all Ohio’s depravity, all the time.
THOSE WMDs. How to party if you’re just plain boring… Amazon’s reign on Chrismas could be ending… Ticketmaster’s dark history… Major corruption scandal rocks EU Parliament… Why does Alabama keep botching executions?
Congrats on the steady influx of dawgs.