Urban's Chop House Sold For Parts
Urban's Chop House Sold For Parts
It's apparently not good for the almighty business line when the proprietor goes viral for fingering a strange woman's asshole on the dance floor.
Welcome to an emergency broadcast of The Rooster, a free morning newsletter featuring ramblings on Ohio politics, culture and sports.
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Ohio State fans are a hog people. I say that in the kindest and meanest ways possible. I am just as brain poisoned as the rest of my brethren; many of whom would not shed a tear if somebody fatally shot me in cold blood tomorrow.
Look at Buckeye Scoop, the pay-for-information fan site where two owners got exposed for switching their billing cycle from “monthly” to “every four weeks” to earn 13 payouts on the year—without telling their customers. There are still thousands of fans willing giving that outlet their hard-earned money every month!
Former head coach Urban Meyer, the infamous Papa de Dublin, was positioned to profit on that collective terminal psychosis as well as anyone in Central Ohio who had left their previous job after proven allegations they had harbored a violent sex pest on the staff for years.
All he had to do was slap his name on a couple businesses and reap the proceeds while he bobbed about town playing golf, sermonizing about leadership at corporate junkets and tipping 10% on buckets of Bud Light. Buckeye paypigs would have done the rest.
Anybody reading this far knows what happened next.
The NFL spit him out about as fast as he was moving with that young woman who wasn’t his wife in that video we all saw. Somehow, his tenure as a Jaguars coach lasted longer than his restaurant in the Short North where he launched himself into viral fame.
Taijuan Moorman of dispatch.com reported Friday morning that the venture between him and fellow scumbag Chris Corso will “be sold to a private investment group” and stripped of its “‘Urban’ branding,” though a cut-out of the Dublin Dad still features in the building’s vestibule.
Ben Koo, the owner of Awful Announcing, personal friend to The Rooster and somebody you should follow on Twitter, added the following reporting:
I never did get to make it to the Chop House, though I did enjoy Patrick Mayhorn and Bill DeFilippo’s review for Michigan blog The Bucket Problem. Shawn Shahnazi is currently the Vice President of Operations at Bob Evans, which is a beautiful Circle of Life moment considering Meyer was originally unfit to be that franchise’s head breakfast coach.
Upon reading the news of my eternal loss, my mind turned to the fate of Urban’s Pint House, the gastropub in Dublin’s Bridge Park neighborhood that The Rooster reviewed in 2019.
I decided to do some big-J journalism and called the Pint House. A man named Andy answered. I explained that I had heard the bad news about the Chop House, and I wanted to know if I could still support coach by coming to the Pint House for some G-Breezy margaritas and tacos.
He said yes, they were open. I asked if that was for the foreseeable future, given what had transpired at the Chop House. He said yes, “to the best of his knowledge,” the Chop House would be around for weeks, if not months to come.
Ohio State fans can still support coach by making the hajj to Dublin and ordering Shelley’s Punch Bowl, a $65 ticket to a hangover served in a plastic flamingo jug while you can revel in that one Buckeye championship that happened seven years ago, long before Meyer torched his reputation in the NFL for the amusement of diabolical haters such as myself.
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