We Need Trains, Not Nerd Fantasies
We Need Trains, Not Nerd Fantasies
Hyperloop is not a thing. Please stop talking about it and build trains.
Welcome to the day President Business Deals gets impeached. It’s embarrassing it’s taken this long considering the most corrupt president of our lifetime has been profiting off his office since before he was nominated.
Of course the Democrats didn’t include that layup in the Articles of Impeachment. In their defense Fox News would have detonated with white nationalist rage if Obama got caught red-handed extorting a foreign government in exchange for dirt on his domestic political rivals.
I have no doubt the kangaroo court erected by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell will vote to acquit. But I want these Republican reptiles on record forever that they looked at this wet orange idiot and abetted his corruption.
The other upside is it is clearly affecting the president’s mental health. The six-page letter he sent to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is something that needs to be read to truly understand the depravity of the kooks in the White House.
The screed reads like it was produced by a coked-out Libertarian at 2 a.m. typing a manifesto explaining his rationale in bombing a federal building.
PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS NERD FANTASY
Hyperloop is a ridiculous transportation network designed by some Big Tech geek as a way to siphon government research money. It’s a concept that would look cool in a movie or whatever. Unfortunately the scheme falls apart when pulled into reality.
From Nick Castele of ideastream.com:
Experts say local governments and entrepreneurs still have to answer many questions about proposed Hyperloops that promise to whiz passengers hundreds of miles in a matter of minutes though vacuum tubes.
The foremost of those questions: Will Hyperloop actually work?
“There’s a big difference between theory and reality,” said Harvey Miller, the director of the Center for Urban and Regional Analysis at Ohio State University. “Even if it works on a test track in Nevada, will it scale to inter-city distances?”
Local leaders hope a $1.3 million feasibility study released Monday will lead to some answers. The report concluded the benefits of ultra-high-speed travel between Chicago, Cleveland and Pittsburgh would justify a possible $30 billion cost.
I’d rather take that $30 billion and see what kind of high-speed rail we could build. I guarantee it will be capable of moving more people in a more efficient manner.
I can’t even ride a train from Columbus to Cleveland on a fall Sunday. Instead I have to sit around and listen to politicians pump this nerd propaganda to the public.
I’m so tired. Driving sucks. Please somebody just build some trains so I don’t have to deal with driving ever again in my life.
SHITTY CINCINNATI CHRISTMAS CAROLS
I thought about purchasing a home earlier this year but I scraped that idea because a perk of renting is knowing if my house ever suffered a sewage backup that I would tell my landlord it sucks to suck but I’m onto the next housing situation!
When you come home to your house smelling like shit and have to solve that problem yourself — apparently that leads to a psychosis that will send you to City Hall to sing shit-themed carols to county commissioners.
From Scott Wartman of cincinnati.com:
Some Hamilton County residents hope a little Christmas magic will keep sewers and rates from overflowing.
Scatological renditions of Christmas classics echoed through the halls of the county administration building Tuesday afternoon just before the Hamilton County commissioners met.
A chorus of community activists sang "sewer carols" to convince county leaders to better maintain sewers and not raise rates.
The commissioners will vote on the Metropolitan Sewer District's budget for 2020 on Thursday. MSD has asked for $126 million budget. The county has recommended $123 million.
"Deck the halls with sewage flowing, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la," the chorus of eight Hamilton County residents sang. Some wore Santa hats. One wore a poop emoji hat.
Shoutout to these patriots. “Poop” is literally my least favorite word but anyone willing to raise Hell at a county commissioners’ meeting is #dawgcheckcertified in my book.
EZEKIEL ELLIOTT’S DAD INTENTIONALLY RELEASED AN AFRICAN WILDCAT INTO CANAL WINCHESTER
The last I saw Stacy Elliott, the father of Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott and former “Ambassador of Buckeye football,” he was standing in front of a rally of troglodytes that had assembled to protest that time Ohio State treated Urban Meyer with kid gloves after he harbored an unqualified domestic abuser on his staff for seven years and then lied about it at Big Ten Media Days.
It appears Elliott has a new moniker of “El-Muhammad.” That moniker hasn’t apparently brought him divine wisdom .
From Falycia Campbell of abc6onyourside.com:
CANAL WINCHESTER, Ohio (WSYX/WTTE) — The father of former Ohio State player and current Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott is facing a 21-count misdemeanor indictment in Fairfield County, after a serval cat was seen on the loose in Canal Winchester in October. Investigation has determined the cat escaped from Stacy Elliott's property, where other exotic animals have often been spotted.
Sheriff's deputies were forced to shoot the animal after it threatened several humans and attacked a small dog.
Elliott, also known as Stacy El-Muhammad, has been charged with 12 counts by the State Department of Agriculture which include:
failure to notify dangerous wild animal (DWA) escape
falsification
obstruction of official business
allowing a dangerous wild animal to escape
failure to notify law enforcement of DWA escape
failure to have DWA signage at property entrance
possession of a DWA
failure to obtain DWA permit
failure to have DWA signage on cage
Going to the clink would suck. Getting put there due to felony charges from the Department of Agriculture would make it even worse.
But seriously what kind of asshole do you have to be to unleash an illegally owned African wildcat into a place like Canal Winchester? And how dumb do you have to be to forget you put an ID chip into your illegally owned African wildcat?
SMALL BABY BIG MOOD
A gameshow fascist with baby boomer brain rot currently holds the most powerful elected seat in the world and our federal and state governments have proved incapable of the radical actions required to stave off the impending climate collapse.
So no I’m not planning on fathering children anytime soon. I suppose it also helps that I’ve never had sex but that’s a topic for a different day.
To be clear: I don’t fault all the parents of newborns out there. I’m just saying don’t be surprised if your children start looking at you like the famous viral baby from Westerville because shit is getting grim.
From Kristine Varkony of nbc4i.com:
WESTERVILLE, OH (WCMH)– You’ve likely seen the mean muggin’ baby Luna Musa. She’s been everywhere from US Weekly to Good Morning, America over the past week or so.
That star is from right here in Central Ohio. She was born one month ago at Ohio State where mom Lori Musa is a nurse. Lori and her husband Alex said they never in their wildest dreams expected her new born photos taken by local photographer Justine Tuhy to be seen by millions.
“During the actual photo shoot we actually sat on the couch of Justine’s studio and let Justine do her thing… so we had know idea [about] the faces,” Lori explained. “She would occasionally say, ‘Oh, she’s making some funny faces,’ but we had no idea until she sent us the previews.”
I recognize that kind of face anywhere. It’s the one every child makes when their parents make some irrational demand and you realize… “Shiiiit…. I don’t recall ever asking to be here in the first place.”
THOSE WMDs. I Think You Should Leave is a the television show of the year… Hunter S. Thompson’s scathing obituary of Richard Nixon… A mother’s nightmare, preserved online… How to rethink drug dealing and punishment… An old college sports film for our time.