Well Here We Go
I’ve been saying for the last four years, all I know about Election Day 2020 is that I’m going to drink 500 Tito’s Vodkas and cry one way or another. Fucking Donald Trump already stole that one from me; we won’t know the results tonight unless the Republicans lose Florida in which case that’s the ball game. At least least Tito is still in business.
It probably goes without saying that tomorrow’s Rooster will be late as I won’t write it until whenever I wake up from my drunken coma on Wednesday.
I’ve got my clown shoes shined and sitting by my bed since the odious Centrist Freaks insisted upon nominating a guy who can’t even campaign on Medicare for All during a pandemic.
Joe Biden would be a Republican in any other functioning democracy. He represented America’s most notorious tax haven in the Senate for longer than I’ve been alive. Oh, there’s also the time he eulogized that dead racist son of a bitch Strom Thurmond.
But 68 million Americans voted for a mentally stunted gameshow host to run America like a business, so Biden is the best opposition the Centrists could summon as our last line of defense against Nazism.
Don’t take it from me on how to vote, take it from that famous Senator Mayor:
Perhaps you don’t want to vote for Biden. I can’t blame you. But please at least consider voting for the Democrats for the Supreme Court. Not that John P. O’Donnell or Jennifer Bruner are avowed Communists, though that would be a lot cooler if they were, but they’re the last thing standing between Ohio becoming Alabama of the North, right down to criminalizing abortion and public education.
In the meantime, I will be getting drunk in the off chance our country re-elects a Nazi to the presidency. You might be thinking there I go with my favorite literary tool, the hyperbole. Just keep in mind that Adolf Hitler was a drunk joker right until he wasn’t. Hopefully this time we won’t need another World War to cleanse the world of fascism but who knows? At least I already own guns.